OMG! OMG!! OMG!!!
I was going about the business of preparing for tomorrow evening's Diary Rescue editing session, adjusting my sombrero with the DR logo on it, donning the robes of objectivity and preparing to drain the life from outlining the tasks for tomorrow's Rangers, when an urgent Fax(?!) came in addressed to all emergency preparedness units.
This just in from the NDS (National Discourse Service).....
WARNING: Due to the SOTU speech, an optimistic high pressure system will collide with a pessimistic low pressure system causing a major disturbance over the next 24-48 hours. Large amounts of heavy preshititation are expected over a broad area of the intertubez, while locally heavy shitstorms in and around the DailyKos area may produce hurricane force blasts of hot air as well as major pie accumulation. GBCW's and bannings are likely.
Both the east coast and the west coast should expect heavy outpourings of verbal diarrhea to produce excessive high tides and coastal flooding. Evacuation facilities in pootie and photo diaries should prepare for an influx of the displaced and stranded.
All care facilities should go to emergency code blue and be prepared for many verbal assault victims and miscommunication casualties. All strawmen are required to check in with their local emergency coordination teams.
Extreme caution is advised. Community members are urged to stay outdoors, away from all digital communication sources. If you must get online, full HazMat gear is warranted.
This is not a drill! REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!1
Boys and girls, it's time to suit up or take cover. Good luck, and God speed....
UPDATE: Godwin's law has been declared and is in effect until further notice due to widespread damage produced by the first wave of shitstorms. While no curfew has been issued, troll hunting patrols are being mobilized to assess the damage and take action in the field.