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GMA - Elizabeth Edwards on Oprah

copyright © 2010 Betsy L. Angert.  BeThink.org

She is an eloquent speaker, an expressive author.  Elizabeth Edwards is effervescent, effusive, and has an excellent mind.  She understands profound policy issues as easily as she prepares a sandwich.   Her memoir appeared on The New York Times bestseller list.  Few think of Elizabeth Edwards as every woman.

Other daughters of Eve might say Edwards is exceptional; surely, she is not as I am.  Yet, life experiences might have taught Elizabeth Edwards otherwise.  Just as other ladies, she is brilliant, beautiful, and not nearly equal to a man.

For years, millions of Americans thought Elizabeth Edwards could be a political power in her own right.  However, friends aver, Elizabeth never had an interest in that.   First and foremost, the role Elizabeth Edwards has said is most significant to her is that of Mom.  She was happy to support her husband, glad for the opportunity to speak on his behest.  However, Ms Edwards was content to be behind the scenes.

The wife and mother believed as much of the country did.   Her spouse, John, was quite superior.  Not only was he an accomplished attorney, as was she, He was a Presidential candidate in 2008 and a Vice President aspirant in 2004.  John Edwards had a following, as did Elizabeth.  Each was “stunningly” successful in their work.  Certainly, the two were characterized as a powerful pair.  Neither could be called common.  Average Americans, they were not.  Still, John was the one who could command an audience, or a country.

He was handsome.  Granted, in her youth, Elizabeth was also smashing.  However, by 1998, a woman told an Edwards pollster the lovely ‘Lizabeth looked like his [John’s] mother, or older sister.  Indeed, this casual observer said of the then future Senator’s spouse, “I like that he’s got a fat wife.”   In the new book, “Game Change,” which documents the doings within the 2008 Presidential campaign, it is revealed that the aforementioned anonymous woman remarked in relief, “I thought he’d be married to a Barbie or a cheerleader.”  Perhaps these verbalized thoughts were the first reported glimpse into the present.  Elizabeth Edwards is every woman.  Infrequently, is John Edwards spouse looked upon as a separate individual.  Ms Edwards is regarded as unequal.

Ostensibly, Elizabeth and John were thought to have an exceptional life.   In truth, they were as you and I are.  Elizabeth Edwards and her husband are never free from human emotions.

Humans, adult men, women, adolescents, and sandlot age persons tell others a tale.  People weave a yarn that helps to inform others it also instructs the storyteller.  Dan P. McAdams, a Professor of Psychology at Northwestern and Author of the 2006 book, “The Redemptive Self” states, “(T)hese narratives guide behavior in every moment, and frame not only how we see the past but how we see ourselves in the future.”  This may explain why no two persons are alike.  However, the thought might not help to explicate what is real for a woman and not necessarily for a man.

Either might think themselves a failure if a relationship is severed.  Each could characterize himself or herself as someone who is not good enough. Perchance, societal standards will cause a woman greater stress.  A female might believe herself, damaged goods.  While Americans state that they have progressed beyond such suppositions, in actuality, any or many a label can classify a divorcee as undesirable.  Some will say she could not satisfy her man. Her age might ensure that she is thought to be an unattractive asset.  Perchance, some will say, she was too forthcoming, overly friendly when in the company of other men, a flirt, a floozy, and a femme fatale.  

Then there are the financial ramifications and considerations.  Men, before a divorce and after fare far better fiscally than their counterparts do.  Interestingly, a study, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology shows that men who think of women in a more traditional, some would say sexist manner earn more money than those chaps with equalitarian views.  The variance is vast.  The more old-fashioned a gent might be, the greater his rewards.

Women, on the other hand, make less on average than men do.  Parents may posture that an excellent education will nullify the gender gap.  However, the Pay Gap Persists; Women Still Make Less, than men do. Surely, most surmise, Elizabeth Edwards will be amongst the exception.  She need not worry.  Once separate, the conventional wisdom is, Elizabeth Edwards will be equal.  The accepted thought is Edwards is not every woman.

After all, Ms Edwards graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, with a degree in English. She went on to study American literature and ultimately secured her degree in law. She certainly is set for life. However, her status as a “professional” person, one out in the work-world became less of a priority.  Elizabeth Edwards, as her friends will attest to, thinks of herself as the proud mother of four children: Catharine, Emma Claire, and Jack. Her first child, Wade, died in 1996.  Time away from the office takes a fiscal toll.

In truth, even if Ms Edwards had remained a fixture in a solid firm, she would have experienced as most every other woman has.  Women Earn Less Than Men, Especially at the Top.  No matter the tale Elizabeth or every other woman might tell themselves, there are some facts that females know they must face.  Emotionally we can evolve.  Economically, the road is rougher for the “fairer” sex.

Only the desire to treat someone of a different sex fairly is great.  Parity is not the reality. Be it a former spouse with whom we have feuded, a friend, male or female by nature, wives wronged, and women righted, wish to achieve equality.  This may be why many women welcomed the prospect of “no fault” divorce.

While it is fine to think that we might not wish to place the onus on one or the other partner, in truth, the notion of a “no fault” divorce has done much harm.   A blameless split severs more than a legal bond.  It presents ”perverse consequences for women,” says Lenore J. Weitzman, Associate Professor of Sociology at Stanford.  Divorce for women is just different than it is for men.  Perhaps, ”There are enormous financial ramifications” even if you are Elizabeth Edwards.  Potential economic woes must worry any woman who contemplates the disillusion of a marriage.  The appearance of wealth, for women, maintained while married, will not warm the cockles of a heart hurt.  Nor will the façade fill her coffers.  Frequently, females face financial ruin, realized in divorce.

That truth has power.  Does a wife such as Elizabeth Edwards weigh the practical and or parse the paradox of a deceitful philanderer.  This may depend on the missus, the mistress, the money, and more.  In a moment, the yarn spun may be sufficient.  In the next minute, the same saga may sound silly, insincere, or just more of the madness.  If a husband is All apologies and earnestly expresses remorse, a couple could come to terms with what occurred.  An admission could kindle forgiveness, or after a series of confessions, one too many might be the permission to leave that a scorned wife sought.  Elizabeth Edwards stated she was "relieved" and hoped husband John’s long delayed disclosure would end the seemingly eternal drama that had become her life.

What we do not know; nor does the soon to be footloose and fancy-free Elizabeth, is how her saga will evolve.  While Elizabeth Edwards is every woman, she is like no one else.  Her tragedy, comic relief, travel, and she are uniquely her own.  This is true whether one’s name is Ellen, Emma, Eileen, Eve, or even Rielle.  What differs is who directs our performance, the stories told.

What might matter most to someone such as Elizabeth Edwards is how the eventuality of a divorce will affect her health.  Will this woman, who loves her life as a mom, be able to help her children?  Divorce, It Seems, Can Make You Ill. Indeed, the research reveals Divorce undermines health in ways remarriage doesn’t heal.  What is a aggrieved Eve or Elizabeth to do?

A captive American audience awaits the details, the decision, or knowledge of the direction a resolute Ms Edwards will take.  For months, or perhaps years, observers asked of the screenplay that appeared often on American television screens, in tabloids, and in books.  Some wives expressed sympathy for exactly what they witnessed in their own marriages.  Singles also empathized.  Elizabeth Edward’s experience is not isolated to the institution of wedlock.  The similarities scream out.

Women pose.  They posture.  Females hide the pain, and the shame. They may shout, shriek, or calmly express distress.  “I am so determined. This time I will lose 40 pounds,” said Elizabeth Edwards as she greeted a guest at the door of her home.  Did she wish to present herself at her best for her husband?  Might Ms Edwards words “show a lack of pretense,” or, as her critics say, was the statement but another act on Elizabeth’s. part.  What role did and does Elizabeth play in this drama?  Can anyone know for sure?

Is she a caricature, stereotyped as a spouse?  What is the story Elizabeth tells herself and others? A women’s place is in the home, on the campaign trail, to pale in comparison to her husband.  

Might her yarn be the same is true if a dame is a professional person, a politician, a plumber, or a Professors wife.   A women’s work is never done, be it that of a domestic, a doctor, a lawyer, a baker, or candlestick maker.  Elizabeth Edwards, as many women can attest to the notion, when you are of the fairer sex, praise pours in sparingly.  Disparagement is distributed frequently. At times, the two are synonymous.  

The former North Carolina Senator’s erstwhile aide Andrew Young exemplifies this.  In his tome titled “The Politician” Elizabeth Edwards is described as the wife and mother could not keep her man.  She “became intoxicated by power, and sometimes looked the other way.”

The Edwards Adviser, as do most, at least in America, acquiesced to the old adage, there is a good woman, behind every man.  A gent does not act alone.  Certainly, John Edwards did not.  Mister Young, in his writings, marvels that Rielle Hunter and Elizabeth Edwards each moved John to do as he has, or perhaps the two damsels did as all people do.  

With societal standards in mind, they pen a tale that reflects their truth.  The title; This is your life (and How You Tell It.)  Men might have opportunities that allow for a more sensational, secure, and solid plot.

Woman work on a screenplay more mired in woes.  She persistently updates the plot.   Just as Elizabeth Edwards, she transforms the treatment of our own life.  She learns and finds Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers. For some, the saga was audacious, and certainly not what they expected from an authority on the law.  Others saw them selves.  Every woman might relate to the reality, Elizabeth Edwards has learned every woman is as she., effervescent, effusive, bearers of excellent minds.  We all experience hurts and heartaches, many of our own making, many more that are not.

“I am a woman.  Here me roar.”  Watch me soar.  I may occupy the planet “in numbers too big to ignore,” but will I ever realize the heights, or have rights equal to those of a man.

Every Woman; Elizabeth Edwards . . .

Originally posted to Bcgntn; BeThink on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 06:56 PM PST.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (8+ / 0-)

    It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
    BeThink

    by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 06:56:41 PM PST

  •  oh no. (10+ / 0-)

    why did you  have to do a diary on this?

    Laughter is a force for democracy - John Cleese

    by GlowNZ on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 06:58:47 PM PST

  •  What Ever you do (6+ / 0-)

    do not read Game Change. Your opinion of Elizabeth Edwards will drop like a stone.

    In the choice between changing ones mind and proving there's no need to do so, most people get busy on the proof.

    by jsfox on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:01:06 PM PST

    •  no opinion now or then (0+ / 0-)

      Dearest jsfox. . .

      My opinion of Elizabeth Edwards is as my thought on all humans.  All he’s or she’s perceives is received through the amygdala, otherwise known as the emotional sentinel.  Then, information moves through the gray matter to the neocortex.  Humans rationalize and then realize what they think are facts, be that of the “other woman”, self, a baby, a beau, or a husband.  Humans react to fear and pain.  What is expressed as “anger” is actually caused by angst.  I offer . . .

      The amygdala, or the sensitivity sentinel takes in all that we see, hear, taste, and touch.  Our experiences are a cause.  The effect is evident in how, as individuals, we interpret what occurs.  Fear is the most powerful force.  Humans follow the lead of apprehension, and or any other emotion, no matter how it is labeled.  

      I think Elizabeth Edwards did as zillions do.  My missive was meant to address women’s rights and realities.  However, I trust I cannot control where one thought leads another.  After all, we are emotional creatures that think  . .  yet, react to words on a page, a person in our spouses pant, a women, baby, or being in our lives that we wish were not there.

      It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
      BeThink

      by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:17:09 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  I read that it portrayed her (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      mattman

      negatively.  What did it say?  I just can't imagine how hard life had been for her.  I would be throwing some pretty scary temper tantrums, so I cut her a lot if slack.

  •  Brave diary n/t (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Colorado is the Shiznit

    Hero-worship is strongest where there is least regard for human freedom
    -Herbert Spencer

    by stevej on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:07:40 PM PST

  •  Good treatise. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Wee Mama, Bcgntn, marykk

    It's sad, but thoroughly true, as a divorced woman myself. My ex took out all of the anger he had at me leaving by not only not paying me a dime, but not bothering with his daughter while she's at my place, either.

    This is totally depressing, but a good read.

    I urge you to redo a bit of the grammar, as it's not all up to snuff (as they say), and submit this to a publication. Also, while I understand the need to use the King's English a lot, it doesn't translate into good stuff that will win you money. Make it more layman's, and you'll be looking at some exposure.

    Overall, great job. :)

    If I push (Obama) to the left, it's not because I'm mean, it's because I like him and I want him to do well. - metal prophet

    by Colorado is the Shiznit on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:17:19 PM PST

    •  huge hugs and kisses Colorado is the Shiznit (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Colorado is the Shiznit

      Dearest Colorado is the Shiznit  . . .

      Finally!  Someone who related to other than gossip!  I thank you soooooooooo very much!

      I must inquire; is the grammar you refer to other than my desire not to use contractions.  If  so, please share.  Also, I would love to learn from you.  where might I submit the missive?

      I cannot express my gratitude for the read and your understanding of the reality.  Phew!  As I read other comments, I worried

      Hugs and huge kisses . . .

      It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
      BeThink

      by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:34:03 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  You are so cute. :) (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Wee Mama, Bcgntn

        This "Dearest" business leads me to believe that you shouldn't stop the King's English stuff, because that's your style. That's what you rock the house at.

        Me? I'm more of a "Yo!" girl. I do not talk/speak like you, and I most certainly don't write like you. So, as much as you might want to learn from me, I'd actually recommend against it, as you need to preserve your own style, and find others who can guide you to what you need.

        Does that make sense?

        And no, I don't think that it's the contractions per se that's buggin' me a bit (simply because it's not my style), but it's your usage of words, etc.

        I'm getting a Vanity Fair feel for your piece, so I'd suggest there. If you need help, let me know, because I'm a kick ass editor. :)

        Take care, sweetie! Good luck to you ...

        If I push (Obama) to the left, it's not because I'm mean, it's because I like him and I want him to do well. - metal prophet

        by Colorado is the Shiznit on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:47:03 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Ahhhhh, you are soooooo sweet. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Colorado is the Shiznit

          Dearest Colorado is the Shiznit  . . .

          Ahhhhh, you are soooooo sweet.  I think you are totally cute, soooo real.  I love it!  

          Wow!  Vanity Fair. That is the big time.  I will hope that your words will encourage me to be audacious.  I know that it is time.  

          I truly appreciate you!  You are a great an Editor?  To sequence, suggest, to proof . . . this is truly a necessary, wondrous art!  I love to learn from Editors.  Indeed, persons that have offered constructive criticism in my life are truly loved.

          You are a special soul.  I am glad you chose to share with me!

          It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
          BeThink

          by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 10:33:10 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  From what I understand, the final straw (0+ / 0-)

    for Elizabeth was when he beat her. Thereby proving the diarist's supposition that Elizabeth = Every Woman.

    WTF.

    "we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex" Dwight D. Eisenhower

    by bobdevo on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:19:12 PM PST

    •  I saw that today. (4+ / 0-)

      That's from The Enquirer, ya know? Let's wait to see if this is actually true before jumping the gun.

      Because that's a fucking serious charge, man.

      If I push (Obama) to the left, it's not because I'm mean, it's because I like him and I want him to do well. - metal prophet

      by Colorado is the Shiznit on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:20:20 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  She hit him too (0+ / 0-)

      n/t

    •  A bit on beat. what of verbal, emotional . . . (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      marykk

      Dearest  bobdevo . . .

      I know not of Elizabeth's physical stresses.  I am aware that the law recognizes emotional and verbal abuse as awful traumas. I share just a bit stimulated by your thought. . .
      Rising economic stress cited in domestic violence increase

      Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook.  United States Departemtn odf Agriculture, Safety, Health, and Employee Welfare.

      Who Are the Victims?

      Women were attacked about six times more often by offenders with whom they had an intimate relationship than were male violence victims.

      Nearly 30 percent of all female homicide victims were known to have been killed by their husbands, former husbands or boyfriends.

      In contrast, just over 3 percent of male homicide victims were known to have been killed by their wives, former wives or girlfriends.

      Husbands, former husbands, boyfriends and ex-boyfriends committed more than one million violent acts against women.

      Family members or other people they knew committed more than 2.7 million violent crimes against women.

      Husbands, former husbands, boyfriends and ex-boyfriends committed 26 percent of rapes and sexual assaults.

      Forty-five percent of all violent attacks against female victims 12 years old and older by multiple offenders involve offenders they know.

      The rate of intimate-offender attacks on women separated from their husbands was about three times higher than that of divorced women and about 25 times higher than that of married women.

      Women of all races were equally vulnerable to attacks by intimates.

      Female victims of violence were more likely to be injured when attacked by someone they knew than female victims of violence who were attacked by strangers.

      Myths About Family Violence

      Myth:Family violence is rare...
      Although statistics on family violence are not precise, it's clear that millions of children, women and even men are abused physically by family members and other intimates.
      Myth:Family violence is confined to the lower classes...

      Reports from police records, victim services, and academic studies show domestic violence exists equally in every socioeconomic group, regardless of race or culture.

      Myth:Alcohol and drug abuse are the real causes of violence in the home...

      Because many male batterers also abuse alcohol and other drugs, it's easy to conclude that these substances may cause domestic violence. They apparently do increase the lethality of the violence, but they also offer the batterer another excuse to evade responsibility for his behavior. The abusive man -- and men are the abusers in the overwhelming majority of domestic violence incidents -- typically controls his actions, even when drunk or high, by choosing a time and place for the assaults to take place in private and go undetected. In addition, successful completion of a drug treatment program does not guarantee an end to battering. Domestic violence and substance abuse are two different problems that should be treated separately.

      Myth:Battered wives like being hit, otherwise they would leave...

      The most common response to battering-- "Why doesn't she just leave?"-- ignores economic and social realities facing many women. Shelters are often full, and family, friends, and the workplace are frequently less than fully supportive. Faced with rent and utility deposits, day care, health insurance, and other basic expenses, the woman may feel that she cannot support herself and her children. Moreover, in some instances, the woman may be increasing the chance of physical harm or even death if she leaves an abusive spouse.

      Adapted from:: "Preventing Violence Against Women, Not Just a Women's Issue," National Crime Prevention Council, 1995.

      It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
      BeThink

      by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 08:14:17 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  What an angry blog.... (0+ / 0-)

    I am not qualified to enter this fray, but I know a badly
    angry person when I see one -- and here we have one!
    It's a very uncomfortable place; I feel sad about it. We've
    come a long way from Jane Austen -- but Miss Austen
    did have female issues much on her mind, it is interesting
    in this context, to look back and see how she handled
    them.  She did it so much better than Siegmund Freud!

    •  Wow! (0+ / 0-)

      Dearest mrmyster . . .

      I laugh, as do those in my life who read your statement.  What for me was fascinating as I penned this treatise was, I rarely if ever relate to the stereotypical woman.  I tend to be logical, and not at all entertained by escapism.

      Jane Austen, from what I understand writes romance novels.  I had to look her up for while the name is familiar, I do not read fiction, and have not been tempted by any of her work or others tomes in a similar genre.  

      As a practical person, often compared to Spock, and criticized by many men, for, I am not the least bit romantic, and these gents are, I smile.

      Nonetheless, I can relate to realistic reasons for Elizabeth Edwards distress.  I live in a women’s body.  Indeed, while I may not think of myself as one sex or another I experience much of what is true for those of my gender.

      Perhaps the thought that you expressed that made sense to me is, “I am not qualified to enter this fray.” Your mention of Freud baffles me. It seems when you state, “but I know a badly 
angry person when I see one -- and here we have one!” that you believe you are able to do as no human can.  Might you mean to state that you can know someone that is not you, and is but words on a screen to you, interpreted through your background and experience, better than they know themselves?

      Is there a couch in this thought?

      It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
      BeThink

      by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 08:40:16 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  It's complicated! (0+ / 0-)

        Dr. Freud made a famous statement: "Anatomy is destiny."  It drives feminists crazy, and I can see why; but it is an interesting point. Noting that you live
        in a woman's body, you may have some idea of what he was talking about.
            Jane Austen was for her day a highly liberated thinker who was quite
        realistic, within her context, about the great issue of fairness between
        the sexes.  Today, Jane Austen would be a very strong liberationist.
           Your posting was surely angry. Anyone can see that. It has nothing
        to do with psychological insight or any of that. I have no real knowledge
        of Mrs Edwards' issues, and clearly she has reason to be angry. I am
        quite sympathetic to her on several counts. Among other things, she's
        married to a horse's ass; I cannot stand the man. He should be made
        to do unpaid public service for decades for just sheer bad taste and
        selfishness -- like cleaning up rest rooms in public parks!
           This may make clearer some of my points. I am now quite content
        to walk away from all this useless chatter, and I now say, goodbye.
        MrM

        •  "Your posting was surely angry" (0+ / 0-)

          Dearest mrmyster . . .

          Again, I am fascinated by your belief that you have the power to know me after one read of a few prose . . .read through you eyes, on a cold hard screen, without conversation . . . to define me.  I share; perception is an individual reality.

          I prefer reciprocal reverence.  I feel as though I was cut to the core.

          "Once you label me you negate me."
          ~ Soren Kierkegaard [Danish Philosopher and Theologian]

          Please trust, I know nothing of you, and certainly cannot grasp your full essence for I will never be you.  I can ask, listen to an answer with an open mind and heart.  I can choose to inquire further with a desire to learn.  If, or were I to define you, my assessment would speak more of me, and how my past experiences affect my appraisal.  I invite compassion, care, and opportunities to share sincerely.  

          It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
          BeThink

          by Bcgntn on Thu Feb 04, 2010 at 09:07:08 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  A few years ago I read (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RunawayRose, Miss Blue, Bcgntn

    her first book, "Saving Graces".  I found it disturbing.   She struck me as a brilliant and talented woman utterly destroyed by grief.  

    "Never trust a rich man when he offers you a truce."

    by KibbutzAmiad on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:31:32 PM PST

    •  Thank you for that comment (15+ / 0-)

      Lose a child at age 16, and then we'll talk.

      Oh, and then make sure to get terminal cancer while your other children are far from adulthood.  Then we'll talk.

      I cannot even come close to expressing my disgust with those who deem to judge this woman.  

      Now since no one in the family is involved in politics, could this fucking website leave this woman alone?  Bash the shit out of her husband if you get your jollies that way, but could Elizabeth be left out of the mix?

      And the comment above regarding Game Change and how every fucking word in it is the gospel truth - well, I don't have words for that, either.

      Silence is the enemy - Green Day 4360+ dead - Bring them home

      by Miss Blue on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:38:25 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  I recognized her (10+ / 0-)

        because my mom lost two children - one to homicide - and a husband to cancer when he was young - such tragedies do things to people.  And some people can come back from where this pain send you, while others can't.

        I can't judge those who are damaged by grief; it's not something anyone who hasn't gone through can begin to understand.

        "Never trust a rich man when he offers you a truce."

        by KibbutzAmiad on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:43:52 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  "Silence is the enemy" (0+ / 0-)

        Dearest Miss Blue . . .

        I am sorry if I hurt your heart in anyway.  For me, this missive is no more about Elizabeth Edwards than it is about you, me, or any other women.  I think equal rights, or the lack of these for women in America is a huge problem.  Yes, political, professional, and personal in nature.

        I never imagined that people would read this and go for the jugular gossip vein.  I truly believed this to be a very essential philosophical, psychological, and political discussion.  What I see through this tread is as I spoke to weeks ago in 15 Minutes.  The distraction is more delicious that the essence of what destroys a planet or a person.

        I am sorry for your pain. Perchance we might muse as Plato did . . .
        Be Kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. ~ Plato

        It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
        BeThink

        by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 09:07:01 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Thank you (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Bcgntn, sgary

          You seem like a very nice person.  I have to read your comments a couple times over to get the full meaning, and your diary is going to take me quite awhile to disseminate.  I've spent my life on a horse - cows, horses, and the folks we hang with speak very plain, like myself.  I'm not used to reading/listening to this lovely language that you use, and I don't "get" it right off, if you get what I'm saying.

          I'm sorry to jump on the EE stuff, rather than what you were trying to focus on.  Perhaps this diary would work better at getting us to pay attention to the more important points if Elizabeth wasn't mentioned.  

          I know you were using her as the "hook", so to speak.  And I can be reactionary, that's for sure.  So I saw her name and jumped to her defense.  Unnecessarily, I guess.  

          I have great, great empathy for her.  I've worn a couple of her shoes, and you can probably tell I would not/could not have handled things with such grace as she has.  

          But then again, a whipped dog will always get my protection.  I think kicking someone when they are down is the cruelest thing I can imagine.  It's very hard for me to keep quiet or ignore - it just rubs me wrong.  (Not to imply that you are guilty of those things)

          Silence is the enemy - Green Day 4360+ dead - Bring them home

          by Miss Blue on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 09:28:35 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  hugs and kisses . . . (0+ / 0-)

            Dearest Miss Edwards . . .

            I thank you.  I will not kick Elizabeth Edwards, nor will I batter any being.  We have all been down.  I believe empathy is the best educator.  

            I think that as long as people pretend to be different, above it all, without any flaws then collectively we will not grow.  As my cousin often says of humans, we are never the same.  However, we are similar.

            I believe the reason Shakespeare remains a classic is, no matter how many centuries pass, humans hurt.  They feel.  We each have pain, problems, and we progress.  What occurs is invisible.  Yet, it can consume us.  It is also the challenge that enables us to conceive, believe, act on our faith, and achieve.

            I trust that you have evolved over the course of the years and will grow greater with each breath.

            hugs and kisses . . .

            It is only the giving that makes us what [who] we are. - Ian Anderson. Betsy L. Angert
            BeThink

            by Bcgntn on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 10:25:01 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

      •  Agreed. (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        RunawayRose, Miss Blue, sgary

        This culture seems to derive a great deal of pleasure from tearing down the spouses of cuckholding politicians, as of they are some kind of "other."

        Mal: "...So then the Shepherd says to the Companion, "Well, a good goat'll do that."

        by crose on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 09:41:10 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  Thanks, Miss Blue (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        RunawayRose

        One of the first comments anywhere on DK re: Elizabeth that I could rec.
        I am just sickened by the viciousness toward her.
        I wish that I, as a good ole fashioned faggot, could throw myself at the bottom of the stake she's been metaphorically tied to, delaying the burning folks seem to demand.

  •  Frankly (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Wee Mama, crose, tnproud2b

    I don't care.

    I empathized with her fight with cancer, because I share that challenge. I admired her eloquence and her commitment to causes.

    But, what she's going through now is her private pain to be dealt with between her and her husband, and not Oprah Winfrey.

    The only thing I've ever wanted to know since the Edwards "affair" is what did she know and when did she know it. Because, the facts of that matter would have directly affected the Democratic Party, me, you, and the future of our country.

    She owes us those answers.

  •  bleh. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    doc2, Annalize5, SpringtimeforHitler

    Annihilation to traitors

    by burrow owl on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:52:01 PM PST

  •  Really, honestly, this story (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    SpringtimeforHitler

    is lots of peoples' story/  She is not special.  She is just a spectacle.

    Now after having said that, I do have sympathy, but the best way to handle is out of the public eye.

    We all have burdens.  

    'If we lift our voice as one, there's nothing that can't be done' MJ

    by publicv on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 07:54:52 PM PST

  •  it's her life (0+ / 0-)

    Elizabeth Edwards has the right to live her life the way she sees fit.  If she wants to stay in the marriage, she should try to do that: even if it means disappointing those of us who want her to leave.  If she wants to leave, she should leave: even if it means disappointing those of us who want her to stay.

    We're not living her life.  And we're not married to John Edwards.  

    I got to know both of them a little through working for his 2004 & 2007 campaigns.  (I am saying 2007 for his second run because he flamed out less than two weeks into 2008.)  They weren't saints; they weren't devils.  I knew John was hiding something, but I thought he was hiding his anger at the world and/or perhaps he was hiding the fact that he was a Marxist.  (However, Marxists are usually more relaxed and cheerful than John Edwards.)  I am sure Elizabeth did terrorize her husband's staff, but she seemed like a smart, down to earth person with a dry sense of humor --- who by the way was quite attractive in real life even if she didn't always photograph well.  Her husband's staff, I might add, was made of resilient and committed (and mostly very young) people who are perfectly capable of surviving the occasional tonguelashing from the candidate's spouse.

    •  Sorry Tim...she doesn't get a pass. They both (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      crose, tnproud2b, miss SPED

      lied through their teeth.  If they had not sold themselves as the "golden couple" then I will absolutely agree with your sentiment but they used their relationship to sell his brand and for that she is totally responsible.  The dynamics of this whole thing are not the average couple gone bad...there is way more here than that but you know what it now needs to just go away.  Suffice to say we dodged a great big bullet.

      "When fascism comes to America, it'll be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis

      by lakehillsliberal on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 09:20:36 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Every woman isn't a lawyer (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        lakehillsliberal, miss SPED

        living in a 30,000 square foot house married to someone she knows is fooling around and acts as his beard when he runs for president.

        "Vancouver B.C. - the home of the 2010 Winter Olympics, single payer health care, and single payer car insurance"

        by marigold on Wed Feb 03, 2010 at 09:59:02 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  I'm not too happy (0+ / 0-)

        I am not too happy about what happened--- but as long as neither of them runs for President again, I see no reason why I should care what choices they make.

        Ironically, it sounds like it was third parties who outed John Edwards.  His wife had decided-- for whatever reason--- that she could live with the situation.

        The right thing to do is to quietly work out a divorce settlement and move on.  We want Elizabeth to punish John, but even if she lives in a large house, we should cut her some slack.  I should cut her some slack. I am not the one who worked side by side with him on all those campaigns--- although I helped out with 2 or 3 of his many crusades. I didn't live with the guy for all those years.  He is not the father of my children.  I am not in love with him--- although I did have a crush on him for a few years.  

        Her main priority is not to send me or anyone else a message that monogamy is good and adultery is bad: her main priority if get her life back on track.

        •  Her main priority should be to be as happy in her (0+ / 0-)

          life and with her children for as long as she can....but definitely do it out of the spotlight. If she had more time...I would think she would want to know why a smart, capable woman settled for a man that thought so little of her.

          "When fascism comes to America, it'll be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis

          by lakehillsliberal on Thu Feb 04, 2010 at 08:57:54 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  How Quickly This All Has Become Jerry Springer (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    lakehillsliberal

    material.

  •  Just saw this disturbing newspaper link (0+ / 0-)
  •  All's I know about this whole thing is (0+ / 0-)

    I am so fucking glad that John Edwards never had a chance at the nomination.
    And we were all in a bunch about Clinton/Obama.

  •  Blech (0+ / 0-)

    The Oprah-fication of everything continues.

  •  She had those hormone treatments (0+ / 0-)

    to give him another child. That probably brought about her cancer.  It is a sad commentary he did not appreciate that, and run away with another woman.  Well done John... I want my money back!

  •  Puleeze! (0+ / 0-)
    John and Elizabeth Edwards are both as crazy as   S H I T H O U S E   R A T S!

    I have had the uncomfortable occasion to see the WRATH OF ELIZABETH EDWARDS in person.  Hell hath no fury...and this was in front of innocent, unsuspecting campaign volunteers.  The glare in her eyes would stop your heart cold!

    John Edwards has been very lucky in life...up until now.  He is nothing more than a slick-talking pretty-boy; an empty suit.  I hope Rielle Hunter gives him and STD that makes his little "weenis" fall off.

    Let's not give these two rich, tacky, white trash hicks any more time.

    We all deserve better.  The Edwardses were just a flash in the pan...

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