GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please -- join us! We kindly ask that politics be set aside.
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So, I was struggling with a topic earlier today, just your run-of-the-mill writer's block, happens to everyone, right? And as I wracked my brain, I thought back to all those years where a burning cigarette inches from my right hand was an essential part of the writing process for me. It was even a part of the thinking-about-writing process (maybe even more than the writing itself). Smoking inspired me! It sustained me! It fueled the process! I couldn't possibly write without smoking, could I? Perish the thought.
Except of course I could, and have done ever since I quit smoking more than five years ago. In fact, I do a whole lot of things now that I never used to be able to imagine doing without smoking. And one of the things that pains me now to think about is the number of years I continued to smoke for the simple reason that -- addiction aside -- I quite simply could not imagine myself doing a whole host of activities without smoking being somehow involved.
How could I possibly be creative without them? Never mind that I had been creative before I ever lit my first cigarette, and that smoking does not, in fact, improve the creative process in any way. That means you, creative types! It doesn't make you play better music, paint better pictures, write better prose or poetry. It keeps you awake so you can meet deadlines (some of which wouldn't be so tight if you hadn't wasted a few hours a day smoking instead of writing); if that's what you need, may I suggest caffeine? I've heard good things about it!
How could I enjoy my life without smoking? I'd been smoking for so long I couldn't even envision what it was like to do certain things without smoking being somehow involved. Could I travel, or go anywhere without the promise of smokes at the end of the road? Never mind that it's about a gabillion times easier to travel without having to work around screaming nic fits during the inevitable delays, or having to sleep in smoking rooms that reek with decades of stale cigarette smoke.
How could I hope to enjoy a fine meal at a restaurant without the possibility of lighting up once it's over? How could I go to a bar and drink and not be smoking, too? They GO together; everyone knows that. A cook-out or picnic or God forbid an outdoor party without smokes? I couldn't do that. What would I do with my hands?? I confess I had not taken into consideration the fact that A) pretty much everywhere is smoke-free these days, and I'd been huddling outside with the other smoking pariahs for years, and B) when you're not a smoker, you can actually smell and taste food and drink, which improves things immensely.
Who knew?
There were literally hundreds of things I could not picture doing without a cigarette nearby (or the promise of a smoke afterward as a "reward"): going online, watching TV, reading, having a cup of coffee, going to a movie, flea market, running an errand, standing at a bus stop, killing time...you know. You've been there. Smoking is what you do; you can't picture yourself not doing it.
But you know what? For someone who couldn't wrap her head around the idea of living a smoke-free life, I was kind of surprised at how quickly my brain stopped trying to insert the missing cigarette into the equation. Sure, for a while, I had that "what do I do with my hands?" feeling. And yeah, I reached for the smokes that weren't there anymore hundreds of times before I stopped doing it unconsciously.
But the world didn't end. The creativity didn't disappear and the productivity improved. I learned that enjoying all those little things didn't actually hinge on smoking, and in most cases, were improved by NOT smoking anymore.
If that's what's holding you back, don't let it. It's an excuse, but it's not a good one...and I say that as someone who used it for years.
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