.
From The Christian Science Monitor:
"Washington – In conservative circles, manifestos are all the rage.
"On Wednesday, it was the Mount Vernon Statement, an affirmation of 'constitutional conservatism,' as the organizers styled it, focused on limited government and individual liberty.
"Tea party activists are working up their own manifesto, to be called the Contract From America – a play on former GOP House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America, from the breakthrough midterms of 1994. . . ."
.
Heh, heh.
.
Funny. This rash of manifestos reminds me more of Ambrose Silk (or, rather, a gaggle of long, lost, evil nephews of the ennui-ridden but good-hearted Ambrose in Waugh's Put Out More Flags) than it does Karl Marx.
"Ambrose had always rather specialized in manifestoes. He had written one at school; he had written a dozen at the University; once, in the late twenties, he and his friends Hat and Malpractice had even issued the invitation to a party in the form of a manifesto. It was one of his many reasons for shunning communism that its manifesto had been written for it, once and for all, by somebody else. Surrounded, as he believed himself to be, by enemies of all kinds, Ambrose found it exhilerating from time to time to trumpet his defiance. . . ."
__________________________________________
I've studied their policies -- such as they are -- and proclamations and positions and now I think I can take a pretty good shot at summing-up by way of Manifesto what the Teabag/GOP is and stands for in the Mid-Winter of 2010. So now it's time I Try my Hand at . . .
A GOTeabag Manifesto
WE, a coalition of the Very Angry at Something (but we're not sure what), the HyperWealthy & Fortunate, and Those Saddened by the Demise of Jim Crow, hereby proclaim the following, Our Manifesto:
+ In recent decades, America's Principles have been undermined and redefined in our culture, our universities and our politics. Segregation, Separate but Equal, Jim Crow, Poll Taxes and a host of other God Ordained policies & practices have been supplanted by the radical notion all men, and even women, are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, among them being Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. We oppose these radical changes, as well as the illegal Thirteenth Amendment.
+ Also, in recent decades, other Traditional Values & Principles, including alchemy and witch-dunking, have been supplanted by so-called "science" in our schools and public discourse. We demand a return to the bedrock principles -- which go back some 6,000 years, but not one year more -- that made our society truly civilized, knowing that the inventors of fire, vessels in which to carry water and haircuts held no PhDs from liberal East Coast Universities.
+ We believe that America's wealthiest citizens work harder than its poor and middle classes, as wealth is always directly correlated to hard work and honesty. Nevertheless, we believe that lying to and manipulating middle and lower class whites for the purpose of protecting the wealth of America's largest and richest corporations is a valuable use of chicanery and duplicity.
+ We believe that the smaller the government, the greater our Freedoms, except in cases of Republican Administrations.
+ We believe that the smaller the national debt, the happier Jesus will be, except in cases of Republican Administrations.
+ Drill, baby, drill. Speaking of which, sex is bad, except when we use it to sell Fox News bobbleheads, sort of stupid Republican candidates for public office, or after our politicians have "asked forgiveness".
+ We believe that God is Good, but Tax Cuts for the wealthy are Better. We believe that Christianity (or a sort, the sort of sneering, smitey sort) is Great, but Cognitive Dissonance is Greater.
+ Ignorance is Strength.
+ We believe that basic health care is not a right, but something one must earn. Furthermore, given that Medicare is Big Government, we advocate its abolition, except when talking to groups of Middle Class White People, when we advocate its protection while railing against "Government Programs". Furthermore, Health Insurance practices and bureaucrats who deny treatment to America's sick or injured are Good; while those employed by Medicare who provide funding for care and treatment of Medicare recipients are Evil Bureaucrats and must be stopped.
+ Climate Change caused by human activity is a hoax, as it evolution, gravity and the color lavender.
+ Speaking of lavender, we believe gays should be killed, but not while serving in the armed forces, or something. No, wait. God forgives Vitter and diapers are natural and there's nothing wrong with Argentina, many of our heroes have lived there, so get off Sanford's back.
+ War is Peace.
.
.
.
UPDATE: Also from Put Out More Flags, regarding "Freddy Sothill": ". . . at heart he was misanthropic and gifted with that sly, sharp instinct of self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich; his indolence was qualified with enough basic bad temper to ensure the respect of those about him."
Sound like any GOP Senators / Foxican-Americans you know of?