(Note: Uncited, unlinked text in blockquotes below are from an earlier post of mine on a slightly different topic – Play it as it lays - and replace your divot, please.)
Golf Etiquette 101
Unlike many sports, golf is played, for the most part, without the supervision of a referee or umpire. The game relies on the integrity of the individual to show consideration for other players and to abide by the Rules. All players should conduct themselves in a disciplined manner, demonstrating courtesy and sportsmanship at all times, irrespective of how competitive they may be. This is the spirit of the game of golf.
There are no goals scored in golf.
There is grass of different kinds, sand, water, taller grass, trees, and eighteen holes. Wind. Rain at times. There’s the foursome of drunken, potbellied executives ahead of you on the course who’ve lost control of their golf carts and whose every shot is in the rough or the woods.
Enveloping every physical aspect of the game is the meta – the knowledge of distance, what club to use from any angle on the fairway, how heavy the air is and what ball compression to use.
If you don’t play golf, it must be hard to imagine the amount of mental involvement there can be in calculating how far back to draw your putter along an imaginary line and then scribe it through that silent, still round white object that must glide its way through the manicured slick of bentgrass into a maliciously placed hole surrounded by sinister green.
A golfer can believe for a moment, a day, a game, that the meta is mastered. But the next day on the course brings the lie to any sense of control.
The meta incorporates the etiquette of the golfer, at least for those who compete. In this sense, meta is the unspoken knowledge of how you handle yourself on a golf course, developed over years of training by those you learn from and along with those you compete. Golf is at its best and worst a sport of mental constraints. Bound by rules. Even for those who are not professional golfers, or low handicappers, knowing those rules are as important as the finest swing, the most expensive equipment, the most challenging course.
Etiquette was drilled into me on a golf course. As a young golfer, I learned more about the proper way to compete on the golf course, and perhaps in life, and how to act when things are not going your way, than from any other activity I've ever been involved in.
I learned how not to block someone's line when they are eyeing their putt to the hole on a green. Not proper etiquette. I learned when to be quiet. I learned it's never acceptible to throw things (not that I was ever like that, but there were others who did and they were promptly castigated). Just not done. When I caddied occasionally during the summer, I learned how and when to give advice. When I competed, I learned how to analyze how someone else played the game. And how to look ahead and see what holes I might be able to gain advantage on, given my own strengths and weaknesses.
In life as in golf, weaknesses are revealed at those moments, those points, within the tempo of a swing you think you have already conquered. I suspect this is why the life of Tiger Woods is such fodder.
He thought he could control the course, dominate with the consistency of his presentation, and above all, win. He was formed to win and accorded the rewards of a conquering hero with each cup, each jacket, each top prize achieved.
I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.
Tiger Woods, February 19, 2010
Yeah, he was wrong. We all agree, why shouldn’t we?
The wrongness has nothing to do with golf. It has everything to do with how Tiger chose to play his own game. We, too, were foolish, foolish fans. We perceived the quality of his talent as a reflection of his character. In life, as in golf, losing is often a better teacher. A fall from grace holds lessons for us all, in what we expect from others and what is expected of us.
I can verify that the sleaziest characters often have great golf talent. But I was also taught to play by some of the most honorable men and women who worked secretarial jobs by day, or pulled green chain at local lumber mills five days a week, or drove logging trucks, and stayed happily married for decades. These were folk who shed weekday working-man personas, put on pastel golf sweaters, tailored beige slacks, and laced up their polished spiked wingtips for the two-ball foursome tournament every Friday night. Their etiquette and character remained balanced on both course and in daily life.
Play the course, not your opponent, not yourself. Play each shot for its own value; read the fairway from start of shot to where you want the ball to land. Don't look ahead, just play the shot you are on. Feel your hands as they hold the grip of the club –it's like holding a live dove – you should have the lightest touch, coupled with the firmest grip, but do not hold it tightly. If you hold the club too tightly, the bird will either die or struggle to escape.
That is the way you hold a golf club.
Find the tee in your pocket. Drop the ball into the palm of your hand. Slip the tee between index and middle finger, pointed end out. Ball on tee, slide into the ground just so. Measure it, feel the placement of the ball as you puncture the turf, bend your knuckles slightly with the knowledge that the height of the ball is critical if your swing is to connect the dimpled surface in exactly the right, sweet spot. Is it a cold day, is it a warm day? Is the compression of your ball the right one, pressurized precisely for that trajectory punch through space? Don’t overextend your swing and try to keep that left elbow straight as you draw your hands back.
Look behind you, release yourself from distractions. Check your stance. Ignore that cart going by on the opposite fairway. The group ahead is nearly off the green now.
Deep breath, quiet your mind.
Golf is a game of degrees. From tee box to next shot. From shot to shot. From pitch to putt. And then you start over again. Each hole is different. With each hole you get another chance (unless it's match play). There is finiteness to it from the first hole; after that you know you have only 17 more chances to make it right on that day. When the game is over, you sign your score card. Your signature implies your honesty in verifying the score of your game.
It’s your turn at the tee.
Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald