Skip to main content

Republican leaders hailed Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning this morning for breaking his own logjam on extending unemployment benefits to hundreds of thousands of the long-term unemployed by introducing an amendment to the bill which, in the words of Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "will help produce new generations of fiscally responsible Americans."

The amendment would effectively bar the White House, as well as any other entity receiving federal funding, from using taxpayer dollars to fund annual ‘Easter Egg Rolls’ as well as other ‘holiday government giveaways’.

Bunning, who has often been at odds with members of his own party for what is perceived as his standing on their shallow principles to the point of utter disregard for poll numbers and election cycles — and last Friday may have jeopardized close elections for many in the GOP by citing core Republican values as his reason for preventing the vote to extend unemployment benefits and tax subsidies for COBRA — characterized his last-minute amendment as "a measure that will help break the vicious cycle of dependency on the government."

House Majority Leader, John Boehner, who in the past has often attended the annual Easter Egg Roll in order to work on his tan, was one of the many to heap praise on Senator Bunning for his innovative compromise solution.  "This is the best game Senator Bunning has pitched since that ‘perfecto’ against Seattle in 1968," Boehner told reporters in an apparent reference to the Baseball Hall of Famer’s 1964 perfect game against the New York Mets.  "How are we supposed to teach kids about personal responsibility when the President and First Lady are out there playing Easter Bunny and giving unnecessary, taxpayer-funded handouts?"

South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint, who was reportedly overheard telling colleagues, "If Obama insists on having his Easter Egg Roll, it will be his Waterloo," later told a press gathering, "Americans now realize that they have two clear choices. They can go with the Democrat party and perpetuate the socialistic culture of big government, big handouts, and big deficits, or, they can go with the party that tells their kids, ‘no big government, no big deficits, no Easter Bunny, no Santa Claus’.  I think the American people know what matters most to their kids."

Those sentiments were echoed by conservative radio pundit and porcine pill-popper Rush Limbaugh, who vocally lauded Bunning’s amendment, telling his audience, "There’s a reason Santa wears red, you know, and it’s not to camouflage his pink, drunk-on-wasteful-spending nose, comrades."

Originally posted to real satire on Mon Mar 01, 2010 at 11:02 AM PST.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site