Mickey Kaus -- that Mickey Kaus, the celebrated alleged oral molester of goats, the famous son of famously wise and liberal California Supreme Court Justice Otto Kaus, the man who parleyed his friendship with the likes of Michael Kinsley into a pre-historic blogging sinecure at Slate, the man who appears to be more legitimately terrified of African Americans and Latinos than anyone else on the planet with access to an internet connection -- has taken out papers to run against Barbara Boxer for the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate.
To the ramparts!
Mickey what? Sounds like a distraction! Who is this guy?
I said to the fracking ramparts!
No, seriously -- well, I guess it won't hurt for you to post his photo.
Heh. If you say so.
(Image swiped from d-day's archive.)
Keeee-rikey! What the hell is that thing?
That's Mickey Kaus. Not what you expected, was it?
Well, I -- I thought you were kidding about the "oral molester of goats" thing.
"It hasn't been proven either way." Atrios came up with that one, though he uses the phrase "blowing goats." The allegation is in honor of Kaus's legendarily low standards of proof required before slagging someone. He's sort of like a Perez Hilton for the Podhoretz set.
No chance that he can win, is there?
Oh, no. Not even he himself is dumb enough to think so. But he can do damage.
How?
Well, first of all, if he's taken seriously -- and he's one of the journalists who gets taken seriously because the journalists who decide which journalists get taken seriously are his friends -- he may be able to score some points off of Boxer, make her spend some money, set up arguments for her later opponent (whom he'd probably endorse, "Democrat" that he is.)
Sounds like trouble.
Probably not. In a normal year, definitively not, but this year the sort of racism he enjoys spewing may just not stand out as much.
So it's only a minor threat. That's good.
Well, there is another problem.
A serious one?
Potentially.
What's that?
He could suck up all of our energy.
What do you mean?
He's like ... an irresistible target.
Oh, I see what you mean.
I'm not sure that you do. He's got something like 15 years of columns in the Slate archives.
Yeah, I know bloggers worry about --
Again, you don't understand. Kaus has never worried about avoiding the outrageous, offensive, and absurd. It's what keeps his fans coming back. If there's any contrarian view to take of a story, especially one that will make Democrats look bad, he'll grab it between his powerful jaws and whip it around until the stuffing comes out.
I'm not sure if I follow the point, but it's an evocative image.
Well, here, I'll give you an example. You know the d-day story that had that photo?
Yeah?
Well, here's more of it. (I'm going to claim fair use and let d-day order me to close it down if he wants to.) The words out of the blockquotes are all d-day's:
TITLE: What's wrong with "Darkie"? They're dark, aren't they?
I need to stop reading Mickey Kaus.
Half-defense: I don't quite understand why it's offensive to call Sen. Obama a "halfrican." It's a useful word! It efficiently describes a real phenomenon. It isn't, on its face, pejorative--and even if it were, it wouldn't be pejorative for long if it were simply used descriptively to mean people with one parent from Africa.
The funniest part of this is the update...
Update: A reader emails to point out the word is distressingly close to "half-breed." That does seem like a hard connotation to shake.
Technical correctness is not a good enough reason to use what amounts to a slur. Hebe is short for Hebrew but that doesn't mean I'd answer to it.
Oh my. And you say there's more like that?
The man lets his freak flag fly high.
OK, but then I don't understand something. Why are you calling everyone to the ramparts? Why is it politically important to take on the political danger posed by Mickey Kaus?
I never said it was politically important.
Then I don't get it.
I don't want people to pile onto Mickey Kaus because it's necessary. In fact, I want to warn people against doing too much of it. But of course I want them to do some of it because it's gonna be so much fun! And we need some good bonding experiences around here.
Oh, good point. Hey, if you're you and I'm you also, why did you just make me agree with you so that it looks like I've bolstered your argument?
Because doing that is another Mickey Kaus specialty. You have so much to learn about him....
Parting shot from the diarist:
It so happens that I once met Mickey Kaus and spent some time in conversation with him and other more prominent bloggers from around here at, oddly enough, Jane Hamsher's house (the only time I've been there.) The sense I got from him is that he wanted us to know that his shtick was largely an act to keep the page hits coming. But he wouldn't accept that excuse for someone's writing, and neither do I.
The unalloyed blessing here? Slate had better shut down Kausfiles for the duration. Can anyone suggest a good substitute blogger for them to hire?