I've written about this topic before, but I thought it might make for an interesting update given the recent controversy surrounding Toyota, as well as the recently released February sales figures for the automotive industry.
On its simplest level, the goal of a motorized conveyance is to reliably get you from Point A to Point B (and anywhere in between), and then return you safely back to the point of origin. However, not all vehicles are made the same, and every now & again there are lemons. It can either be because of horrible build quality, glaring design flaws, or the wonderment of how groups of supposedly smart people spent time & resources developing such hideous aesthetically challenged products.
It's sometimes fun to walk back down memory lane & remember that rust colored piece of shit that you insanely spent thousands of your hard earned dollars on. And if there was more than one, which was that particularly shitty one?
The sales figures from last month indicate Toyota has been wounded by the controversy over gas pedals & sudden unintended acceleration. Also, Ford Motor Company sold more vehicles than General Motors last month. That's the first time that's happened in 12 years.
From AutoBlog:
The Toyota Camry for instance, long the best-selling car in the U.S., moved 16,552 units last month compared to 20,634 the year before, a drop of almost 20 percent. The Ford Fusion, which has been gaining sales on the back of positive reviews and a mantel full of awards, sold 16,459 units last month. That's a 117-percent sales increase compared to last year, some of which we have to believe is directly attributable to customers turning away from Toyota and the Camry.
The
New York Times just published an exhaustive piece going through the steps taken by G.M. & Ford to re-establish a reputation of quality with consumers. I must say that there does seem to be a shift happening that's been helped by the recent Toyota news. Ford has been doing really well, and my experiences with their cars & trucks have been pretty damn good. This is anecdotal, but my mother hasn't owned an American brand car since 1993. However, she's looking at a new Caddy.
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It’s been a tough sell, particularly at G.M., which has lagged behind Ford in quality ratings, needed a $50 billion taxpayer bailout and just last week announced a recall of 1.3 million vehicles. (Chrysler, which is now controlled by Fiat, is in what could politely be called a "transition phase" and has yet to try, let alone pull off, a makeover.)
But in the last two months, G.M. and Ford have been handed a once-in-a-generation chance to make their case to an American buying public that is listening as never before... For the first time in decades, shoppers who once would have headed directly to the nearest Toyota dealership are taking a look at American automakers. A rare opportunity has knocked. But are G.M. and Ford ready to answer?
Ok, enough of my dithering on about car news. On to the main issue at hand.
I love lists, and debating lists. And like music, television, film, and almost everything else that's based on a subjective opinion, someone's worst can be someone else's favorite. However, there are those things where most people have come to a consensus as to its greatness or whether it was crap.
For example, the Hummer H2. It pretty much symbolizes everything wrong with late '90s/early '00s car thinking. The H2 was an expensive status symbol that just screamed insecurity. After the death of the Hummer brand was announced, Jalopnik had a piece asking blog members "What Will Men Desperate To Prove Their Masculinity Drive Now?" And to top it all off, it was an SUV that drank gas, yet had deficiencies going off-road, as proven by Jeremy Clarkson of BBC's "Top Gear" a few years back.
While running back in 2008, President Obama let his pick for worst car be known:
"The car I learned to drive on was my grandfather's Ford Granada. ... It may be the worst car that Detroit ever built," the Illinois senator said in an interview with Indianapolis radio station WFBQ. "This thing was a tin can. It was during the '70s when oil had just gone up, so they were trying to compete with the Japanese," Obama said. "They wanted to keep the cars big, so they made them out of tin foil. It would rattle and shake. You basically couldn't go over 80 (miles per hour) without the thing getting out of control."
Going through the various media lists for worst cars ever, there are a few models that get repeated over & over again. Here's a list of 10 "worst cars ever" from MSN Autos.
- Triumph Stag
Cooling problems, lubrication issues and problems with the ignition system and the quality of the rubber and metal were all liabilities for the Stag. Triumph already had a shoddy reputation (British cars weren't known for their quality), and eventually the company both discontinued this convertible coupe in 1978 and ceased existing as a car manufacturer altogether in 1984.
- Ford Pinto
- Trabant
Urban legend had it that the East German-manufactured Trabant was made of cardboard. The car was East Germany's most popular for nearly 30 years, and it could be seen tooling around the other Communist bloc countries. A 2-stroke engine gave it all of 18 horsepower, and while it wasn't made of cardboard, its fiberglasslike construction and reinforcements of recycled cotton and wood gave it an exceptionally flimsy aesthetic. A dearth of basic features such as turn signals and brake lights didn't help. To fill the gas tank you had to lift the hood, add gasoline and oil, and shake. This would be your prize for enduring a 15-year waiting list before taking delivery of the compact 4-seater.
- Yugo GV
- Chevrolet Corvair
A part that reportedly cost $6 was the difference between a Corvair that maintained its decorum while cornering at high speeds and one that grossly oversteered.
- Fiat Strada
Warnings were issued regarding service issues for the Strada (known internationally as the Ritmo) before it even hit the streets in 1978. It was riddled with rust — floors, engine mounts and suspension were all susceptible to premature oxidization. Coupled with the fact that it was a real slug — it maxed out at 75 horsepower — it's no wonder the Strada helped hasten the fall of the Fiat brand in the U.S. Lawsuits regarding the rust pushed the Italian carmaker from the American market. The Strada also managed to give robots a bad name: It was the first car built exclusively using robots.
- Chevrolet Vega
- Pontiac Fiero
The words Fiero and fire are inextricably linked, and not just for the obvious reason. If, in the mid-1980s, you were an unlucky owner of this 2-seater and you weren't diligent about changing the oil, drove aggressively and also ran out of oil, you might have ended up with a broken connecting rod. Oil might then spill all over the engine and send it up in flames. One theory about why the Fiero was such a firebox pointed to user error: Fiero drivers were riding the car hard and over-revving the engine. Another was a major oversight in the owner's manual, which called for three quarts of oil instead of the necessary 4.5.
- Mazda RX-2
- Plymouth Prowler
A hot rod that doesn't have more than 250 horsepower isn't much of a hot rod. This may have been the Plymouth Prowler's biggest liability, due in part to the automatic transmission. But its hideous design likely also had something to do with the public's underwhelming response to the Prowler. BusinessWeek magazine named the Prowler, first released in 1997, to a list of the ugliest cars of the past 50 years, describing it as "a pie wedge on wheels . . . The sharp, angular front . . . draws attention to the squished headlights, jarring grille and seemingly pasted-on front bumper." Not exactly a ringing endorsement.
Some years back,
Forbes compiled a list of the worst vehicles from around the world.
Among their picks:
- AMC Pacer
The Pacer was a dud in terms of quality, execution and particularly styling. Make your own assessment about its bizarre proportions, but don't miss the one door that's bigger than the other.
- Ford Pinto
"You don't want to talk about the Pinto," said a Ford official. "Leave that one in the cemetery." Apparently, Ford has not forgotten the lawsuits and the public relations disasters forged by its Pinto hatchback and sedan. The Pinto's famous safety flaw, of course, was that it was prone to blowing up if rear-ended.
- Ford Bronco II
Although many people loved them for their ruggedness, in the 1980s Ford's Bronco II sport utility practically invented the phrase "prone to rollovers." How bad did things get? The vehicle's drivers realized they probably shouldn't pilot the Bronco II up a steep hill; Ford's employees said as much in an inter-office memo that was circulated in 1986, according to the Center for Auto Safety. Ford sent out 288 service bulletins on the 1985 Bronco II alone; reading them spotlights a vehicle whose engines--and other major components, like alternators and ignition systems--failed often.
- Chevrolet Vega
The first time General Motors tested this car on the track, its front end reportedly broke off from the rest of the vehicle. When the Vega did reach the market, it was one of the most unabashedly no-frills cars in history. Starting at $2,090, the Vega offered little space with its 97-inch wheelbase (the distance from the center of the front wheel to the center of the rear) and had disturbingly little horsepower, 90, out of its four-cylinder engine.
- Mazda RX-2
There's a good reason that rotary engines never really caught on. Rotaries--which run in circles, unlike pistons, which run up and down--are like diesels; they had major problems early in life, creating a buying populace that to this date does not fully trust them. Mazda's RX-2, one of the first rotary-engine cars, had problems with catching on fire. It also raised the classic problems of rotary engines: bad fuel economy and emissions. Rotary seals would wear out early in an RX-2's life, leaking fuel and emissions along the way.
- Yugo GV
Yugos, priced below $4,000 when first introduced, came to America as a great benefit to comedians, and at the expense of value-conscious customers. The GV was Yugo's bread-and-butter model, and owners complained constantly about engine problems, steering problems, problems with the stereo, problems with the floor--basically, everything. What worked in a Yugo worked as poorly and cheaply as possible.
Over at Car Talk, they compiled "The Worst Car of the Millennium", with this list being based on audience feedback. Some of the comments are just hilarious, although I'm sure it wasn't hilarious for the people involved when the bad shit was happening.
- VW Bus
"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."
"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."
- Renault Dauphine
"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."
- Cadillac Cimarron
"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."
"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."
"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"
- Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare
"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."
"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."
- Renault LeCar
"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."
- Chevrolet Chevette
"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of drywall!"
"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."
- AMC Gremlin
"Calling it a pregnant roller skate would be kind."
"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."
- Ford Pinto
"The car would do 75 mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70 mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."
- Chevrolet Vega
"When the rear end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in his wheelchair?"
"As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust."
- Yugo GV
"I once test drove a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield."
There's also the automotive fads that were born out of some of these cars. For example:
- Vinyl/Landau roof - "Quick quiz: What has all of the problems of a convertible top (tearing, weathering), with none of the pleasures (driving with a top that actually opens, for instance). It's the vinyl, aka "landau," top."
- Fake wood paneling - "Another famous vinyl product meant to simulate the craftsmanship of a bygone era, fake wood paneling began to pop up in the 1960s, draping the sides of luxury station wagons such as the Ford Country Squire. Like the famous woodies of the pre-1950s era (which were, of course, constructed of real wood), these cars showed off their elegantly grained vinyl timbers with pride. That is, until the panels peeled off to reveal the sheet metal beneath."
- Branded decals - "Concurrent with the mid-'80s stock market boom was the evolution of a certain species of shallow, self-involved man (think Gordon Gekko from the film "Wall Street") who enjoyed turning perfectly good sports cars into embarrassing exercises in self-glorification. The typical member of this clan bought himself a 911, then proceeded to desecrate it with a full-length reflective decal that said "Carrera" and a "Porsche" windshield decal, just in case anyone was wondering what that iconic-looking vehicle he was driving was."