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From the top floor of my now for-sale house, on the bluffs in Alton, Illinois....

Random Academy Awards show thoughts:

  1. Every year we hope there isn't a big production number, and every year the producers disappoint us.  Neil Patrick Harris?  Really?
  1. You ladies in the strapless gowns, STAND UP STRAIGHT!  (I'm talkin' to you, Miley Cyrus).
  1. Who are you and what have you done with Sarah Jessica Parker?
  1. The Ben Stiller Avatar bit: painful.
  1. Best acceptance speech comment of the night:  "If you wanna be creative, juet get out there and do it - it's not a waste of time!"--Michael Giacchino
  1. The Hurt Locker wins Best Pic--Jon Soltz's head explodes.
  1.  The annual hand-wringing over the length of the awards show begins in 3...2....1.....

Doc's Cheers and Jeers begins below the fold, with news from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?" Up yours!)

DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers.  The use of the words  JEERS  and  CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, pootie pics, lusty wenches, mattress references,  whomps, moist, kvetching over meta diaries, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community.  Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.

NOTE:

Doc's Bad Joke of the Week
(in the gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.

One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,  but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is....

 
MOLASSES!

Cheers to the editorial board at The Tampa Tribune.  The usually conservative newspaper published an excellent argument against continued term limits for the Florida legislature that should become required reading for those who favor term limits:

In almost every walk of life, experience matters. Rookie police officers are not qualified to be homicide detectives. A doctor doesn't get fired from a clinic after eight years of successful practice just to make room for a physician fresh from school. Experience is also vital in politics. So is accountability, but now lawmakers rarely have to confront the ultimate results of their decisions.

Florida voters were wrong to ask to be governed by a combination of amateurs and lame ducks.

On a national level, I'm not happy with deadwood being sent back to the House and Senate, but like Howard Dean says, WE have the power to effect term limits.  Now, about that campaign financing.......

Cheers (or Jeers?) to the weird.  I'll just let this headline speak for itself:

Gay Catholic Ex-Stripper Awaits Birth of Twins Carried by Husband's Sister

Calls to the Vatican for comment were referred to Angelo Balducci.  (OK, I made that last part up.)

Jeers to the United States Navy.  Captain Holly Graf, a 1985 Naval Academy graduate, was given command of not one but two combatant vessels (a destroyer followed by an antiaircraft cruiser) despite a long history of abuse towards subordinates including physical assault, bad shiphandling skills, disrespect to allies, and a complete disregard for her crew's welfare.  The Captain has finally been relieved of command of the USS Cowpens, and reportedly has been transferred to a weapons lab outside of Washington, DC, effectively ending her career, and giving Capt. Graf the dubious distinction of being the first female officer to be releived of a sea command.  But it took way too long for the Navy brass to catch on, which makes me worried about other bad officers in the service.

(As someone who has read about Captain Bligh, whom she is compared to, I say the comparison is unfounded.  Bligh was cruel, but no more and no less so than many other captains of his era, and unlike Holly Graf, William Bligh was a great seaman.  I liken Graf more to the fictional Captain Queeg of The Caine Mutiny.)

Um, Cheers, I think, to this ah, interesting comment from a client to Dr. Patty Khouly, who writes the Dolittler blog.  After retrieving a condom from "the innards of a cat", as she described it (I presume this was a surgical removal), the client said, "It must have been that other guy because he’s the only one I use those with."  Um, ewww.  Maybe it should be Jeers instead.

Jeers to being unclear on the concept.  Rep. Peter Roskam (R-IL 6) reportedly used taxpayer dollars to advertise a tele-town hall on....wait for it....out of control spending.  IOKIYAR?

Cheers to wacky Florida drivers, bless their hearts:

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said.

There HAS to be a Jerry Springer Show appearance after this.  There just has to.  Hey, he's just up the road in Sarasota, not far from the Keys!

Cheers to making the paper.  Adam Shriver, who runs the St. Louis Activist Hub, was one of 13 bloggers listed in the alternative weekly Riverfront Times' A Blogger's Baker's Dozen published last week.  For those of us who live in the area, his blog is a must-read for finding events, and finding out what the other side is up to.  A Jeer within the Cheer for asking Adam this question:

Do you blog in your tighty-whities or PJs?

They didn't ask the Republican blogger that question.  Damn liberal media.

Inky says, "Hit that reco button--and change the channel."

Floor's open!  (finally)

STOP PRESS!  Cheers to the Animal Hospital at the Crossing, which just called to schedule me for 4 days this month, getting me out of a potential financial jam!  Happy dancing has ensued!

Originally posted to AAbshier on Mon Mar 08, 2010 at 07:36 AM PST.

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