Please honor the life of Theodore Olbermann, his family, and his friends by contributing what you can to the National Association of Free Clinics. Lots of small donations can & will go a long way for a service that will still be necessary when/if HCR passes. Thank you!
Be on the lookout for the census forms to be in your mailbox; Hubby & I got ours yesterday. If you fill it out good & quick, you should get your first choice of internment camps in Bat$hit Bachmann land, don't cha' think?! ;D
Let's commence with some "this day in history" items. On this date in 1521, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Philippines, where he was killed by natives the following month. I guess he got a special kind of "welcome to the neighborhood" basket, huh? Yikes! A book on my personal "top 10" list was published on this date in 1850; The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne isn’t a 20th century work, but I’m a sucker for a good story about hypocrisy. So, if you are too, read this one! According to Bart Stupak, the "A" means "abortion" now. *&^%$#@! On this date in 2003, DICK predicted on Meet the Press that American troops would be "greeted as liberators" by the Iraqi people. How did THAT work out, DICK?!
Finally, let's wish a happy 84th birthday to Jerry Lewis! Now, I've made no secret about the "pleasures" of living where I live, but I do have 1 distinct advantage over most of y'all; Dean & Jerry never broke up in my part of the country & are still doing great bits together. ;D
Let's Countdown - Buddy Love not included.
Thank you again, Lawrence O’Donnell; if there’s a heaven, there’s a special place for you there because of your kindness & flexibility & availability in helping Keith and the show over these last difficult months!
#5 "Last Throes" AKA "Weak Tea?" AKA "Bill of Health" - Congress critters brought vittles to tea baggers in our nation’s capital today. Well, ain’t they sweet? The force of the tea baggers wasn’t as great as some were expecting today; well, they just haven’t been taught how to tea bag well enough – HA! Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. ;D
How ‘bout those classy signs of President Obama climbing into a coffin? Yea...sure...country first...yada – yada – yada... There’s Bat$hit! Mrs. Bat$hit, my census form will be in tomorrow’s mail; I want my camp to be near here, PLEASE?!
She’s still pushing the killing grandma memo; a classy Congress critter from Texas, Rep. Louis Gohmert, called the HCR bill an abortion. A doctor at the rally wants Speaker Pelosi tried for treason? Huh?! Here’s Howard Fineman – YIPPEE! He talked to tea baggers today; I hope Howard’s had his shots now. Around 300 people were there today; huh, twice that many students will be parading through my office over the next few weeks! Most people today, according to Howard, think HCR’s a done deal; hell, I’m not even sure it’s a done deal! Rep. Dennis Kucinich is supposedly having a presser in the morning to "announce" his HCR vote; I think he’s done that already. Howard thinks Dennis is going to come out in support of the bill. WHAT?! Huh... I’ll believe that when I see it/hear it. Plus, just saying he’ll vote for it doesn’t mean he’ll actually do it. OK, I appreciate all of Ezra Klein’s knowledge on this subject and the machinations of Congress during all this, but I’m getting tired of seeing him. Doesn’t this poor guy have a life?! We get to learn about a new Congress critter machination, F.O.O. – the self executing rule – yet another thing the GOP was for before they decided to be against it now. OK, so by my understanding, the House can say the Senate HCR bill is passed without actually voting on it, then they can go in & make the reconciliation changes they want to make, then vote for that, then send it onto the Senate?! Geez Louise... And, President Obama wants this all done by Easter?! Oh dear... I don’t think the little brown round pellets in your Easter basket will be chocolate eggs. Ezra’s not crazy about this plan up the House's sleeve.
#4 "Decision 2010" AKA "Tea Party, Dome" AKA "Hill Communication" - Good evening to Senator Debbie Stabenow; let’s see what she thinks about this "deem & pass" stuff" It sounds like she’s ready to vote already! Whatever the House passes will go directly to the Senate floor – bypassing the usual committee suspects & awaiting whatever procedural shenanigans GOP Senators can come up with to stall the thing MORE. OK! Senator Stabenow outlined some provisions of the HCR bill that will be effective immediately once/if/when President Obama signs it; small businesses will immediately get a 35% tax cut towards HCR plans, pre – existing condition ilk for children will be gone by the shameful wayside, a fund will be set up for people who are unable to buy health insurance, and early retirees will get some immediate help, too. Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence, VP Biden can ignore/overrule the Senate parliamentarian; I wish you’d remember to mention this fact more often, dear, with all due respect!
#3 "Childish Attacks" - Oh Lawrence, nothing "the right" says about anything surprises me anymore; as long as you’ve been around politics, you shouldn’t be surprised, either. If saying something outrageous will boost ratings, whether they actually believe it or not, Boss Limbaugh, Lonesome Rhodes, and Michelle Malkin will say whatever’s oozing in that brain pan (such as it is) of theirs. Marcelas Owens talked about what happened to his Mom; she died of pulmonary hypertension as a 27 – year – old. His grandma got attacked, too. Lawrence begged Boss Limbaugh to apologize to Marcelas; honey, don’t hold your breath on that score because he ain’t gonna do it. Wow! I wonder where Chris Hayes is tonight? I’m digging that lamp in the background! Chris said putting a human face on the impact of HCR or lack thereof makes the likes of Boss Limbaugh & their ilk uncomfortable. Dear, it only makes them uncomfortable if they’re human. Just like the health insurance CEOs who heard President Obama read the letter from Natoma Canfield won’t be affected by that because they’re not human, these "people" won’t be affected by the story of Marcelas’ Mom because they aren’t human. Boss Limbaugh will throw the family’s race into the picture, in fact, in 5...4...3...2... Chris nailed the "message improvement" memo in the HCR area – especially since Senator Nude Cosmo’s election. Just think how much better this shtick would’ve gone if the White House decided to bolster their "message improvement" back in...oh...let’s say for $hits & giggles...THE SPARKIN’ AUGUST RECESS!
#2 "Auto Erratica" - OK, whoever came up with this segment title deserves a raise this week – HA! And, Lawrence’s intro was a little odd. So, Bigfoot is driving a Prius? Golly! ;D
Man, sign me up for a paying gig to be able to drive a car like a maniac; that sounds FUN! The initial story of the run – away Prius is getting poo – pooed all around.
#1 "Tiger’s Return" AKA "The Masters Plan" AKA "Reclaimed Woods" - Tiger Woods announced today that he’s beginning his golf comeback with the Masters next month. Meh... I imagine what REALLY happened is that all the golf sponsors complained their ratings were going down the terlet since Tiger wasn’t playing & begged him to come back. I bet they offered free transportation to all his mistresses, too! Did Ari Fleischer advise him to do this? And, who’s brilliant idea was it for Tiger to pick THAT guy as his PR – comeback guru?! GADZOOKS! He says he still has a lot of work to do in his personal life; I bet he does! And, in a side note, tomorrow night’s season premiere of South Park will be all Tiger Woods! Previews even feature the actual audio from his "presser" a few weeks back; how Trey & Matt got permission to do that, I’ll never know! ;D I can’t wait!!
Tiger might give an actual interview in connection with his great return to golf; expect him to be accompanied by an attorney & him not saying diddly – poo. How ‘bout Eric Cartman next to Tiger during his presser?! LOVE IT!! Sorry, Eugene, I won’t be watching; I never have watched golf & never will. Once again, to paraphrase the great George Carlin, watching golf is like watching flies spark! And, Eugene Robinson is questioning the whole Ari Fleischer insertion into this story, too! I am so smart...I am so smart...S – M – A – T...er...uh...S – M – AR – T!