Yes, we got our way! And even though we mocked and derided the Republicans and the Tea Party contingent when they shouted "Death panels!" and "It covers illegal immigrants!" and "Armageddon!", now that the bill is passed, we can admit it...
IT WAS ALL TRUE!
So let's finally tell the truth about this legislation and let the GOP and the Tea Partiers in on our
little massive (not-so) secret...
- An acquaintance from a health insurance company sent me an email this morning asking if I'd like to serve on one of their death panels. It's a part-time gig and the pay is not great, but I may do it just for the "life-or-death" power trip.
- I was talking with a couple of friends this morning who are illegal immigrants and they can't wait for this thing to kick in. The fact that it provides full coverage for illegals plus covers cosmetic surgery at 100% means my one friend can finally get that nose job he's been wanting for years.
- I'm handing out coupons for "free abortions" thanks to this bill. Young women are snapping them up faster than folks grab those free samples of Starbuck's coffee on street corners. And all these young women are waltzing away, singing, "Now I can have unprotected sex!" And none of them were wearing wedding rings.
- A doctor friend called me this morning, all excited, and told me that every hospital in the country is on a "Code Red" alert due to the coming Armageddon. I've already reserved an ambulance because they're going to be hard to come by when this thing hits.
- I woke up this morning and my freedom and liberty were both gone. They're usually in the closet, hanging up next to my wool pants. I thought I heard someone in the bedroom last night, rummaging around. I think it was the government!
And there are more truths that need to be told, but I'm just letting our Tea Party brethren in on these for starters.
They really had us pegged from the get-go, didn't they?
Feel free to add your own truths, below. Remember, confession is good for the soul!