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I never thought about actively shaping the political leanings of my children, instead hoping only to raise them in a way that they would form their own judgments based on compassion and reason.  I have failed so far in instilling such virtues in my lovely two year old daughter.  She has taken to obstruction as her only means of relevancy due to the fact that she's only two, and is simply incapable of governing.  She is a Republican.

I'm sure many of you have been through this with your own petulant little Republicans and can sympathize with my plight.  It is truly remarkable how someone so small and self absorbed can disrupt everything by simply refusing to cooperate with anything.  Offers of sugary rewards used to be effective, but that eventually stopped working as well.  I guess it's just the nature of the beast.

I began noticing this impulse to obstruct shortly after her birthday last year, and it only got worse.  At first it was kind of funny when she would yell "NO", fold her arms, and turn her back on me.  But then she realized that I could make her do things because I was in charge and had overwhelming support from the other people in the house.  This did not please her one bit.  After being put to bed a few times for her screaming and foot stomping, she decided that her only recourse was to simply stop cooperating in any way, even when offered candy and cookies.  Things began to get very difficult after that.  Even the simple daily routine had to be a fight.  Getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating meals, picking movies to watch, everything was a battle to the death.  As a grown up it was hard to fight these battles day in and day out when I had work to do and responsibilities to the other people in the house, so I chose which fights to have and began to capitulate on things just to keep the peace.  This only emboldened the little turd into more fit throwing and obstruction.  It was infuriating.  Something had to be done.

I resigned myself to fighting each fight without backing down.  If she threw fits, she would go in time-out.  If she refused to cooperate she would go to her bed.  This went on for some time, but eventually she realized that the cost of her senseless obstruction was more than she wanted to pay.  She still throws her share of fits and objects to unanimous consent on a fairly regular basis, but at least she'll put her shoes on now when it's time to go.  I guess that's something. 

Republicans Two year-olds are tough that way, and all you can hope for is that they'll grow out of it at some point.  It's hard to reason with a person who has no interest in other people.  You can either reward their selfish behavior, or put them to bed for a while until they knock it off.  I'm still hopeful that my lovely daughter will grow out of being a Republican, and it'll be just another phase that won't last.  Then maybe someday we'll all look back and have a good laugh about it.  Best of luck to all of you out there dealing with your own little Republicans, and remember to just keep loving the little shits because hopefully someday they'll grow up.

Originally posted to aramis on Wed Mar 24, 2010 at 09:18 AM PDT.

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