Today, I watched my friend become a US citizen.
The ceremony for naturalization was quite nice.
It was very organized and the master of ceremonies was patriotic in all the right places... with even a moment of levity thrown in for good measure.
We all watched with joy as my friend took the Oath of Citizenship.
We all took pictures and applauded when the 139 people from 54 different countries were declared citizens.
We all spoke the Pledge of Allegiance with conviction.
We all sang the Star Spangled Banner with pride.
We all heard Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." and everyone clapped.
We all heard our President speak of the important step they were taking.
We all hugged and waved flags and took pictures.
I alone was filled with anger.
It's not because I want to become a U.S. Citizen. I already am one. Always have been one.
At one point, the MC said that they now have the privilege as a citizen of the United States. The privilege to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in whatever form that might take.
I knew that was a lie.
And at that exact moment, I was filled with jealousy.
You see, I'm not allowed to pursue happiness in "whatever form that might take".
I knew that as of today, my friend actually has more rights than I do.
In that 30 minute ceremony, he passed me. He became "more equal" than I am.
He is now free to pursue his happiness with his wife and beautiful baby boy. His happiness is only bounded by the limits that he and his spouse impose. They are equal citizens with equal opportunity and equal obligation in this country.
I am not. I am gay.
I will have to pay an additional $440,000 over my lifetime in an unfair tax structure designed to punish me as a gay man. My friend will not.
I continue to be taxed at regular income rates for the domestic partner health benefits that my private company provides me and my husband, while my friend pays nothing.
My partner has a much tougher path to citizenship because we're gay. My friend's path was clear and unobstructed.
I will have to spend thousands of dollars with lawyers to protect my estate from my greedy, homophobic family. With a single oath, my friend's estate can pass to his wife without interference.
I will have to plan to pay inheritance taxes at a very different level. My friend does not.
We can't offer a warm and loving home to a child and be able to adopt that child, accepting equal responsibility as two fathers. My friend has no politician or religious leader denouncing his lifestyle. My friend can adopt another beautiful child and provide for them, improving their life.
I continue to prepare for the unfair real estate tax burden that will pass to my partner when I die. With the citizenship ceremony, that tax burden was lifted from my friend.
During his Oath of Citizenship, he pledged to defend this country. The oath demanded that he "will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law", yet I cannot serve. My gay and lesbian brothers and sisters cannot serve. They have to lie and hide in the dark while the hate and prejudice is allowed to run rampant over their life's work and their dreams. My friend's 3 hours of citizenship affords him the opportunity of serving his new country in the light of day and with honor.
I am so proud of him, of his wife, of his child, and the life that they are able to pursue in this great country... yet I am filled with envy and sadness that my 52 years of citizenship are less valuable to this country than his 3 hours of citizenship.
I can't stand the injustice that is levied against the GLBTQ community day-in / day-out.
It makes me sad for me...
but I am happy for him...
Tonight, I will raise a glass of champagne to him and propose a toast and be happy.
Tonight, I just wish I could be as equal as he is.