"Today's decision turns Miranda upside down," Sotomayor wrote. "Criminal suspects must now unambiguously invoke their right to remain silent, which, counterintuitively, requires them to speak."
A little attempt at humor amid all the gloom after the jump.
Squad car pulls up to the curb of a busy street, an officer leaps out and yells at a pedestrian on the crowded sidewalk:
"Hold it right there! I'm placing you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"
Pedestrian [indistinctly muttering under his breath]: Yeah, I want to remain silent.
Cop: What, what'd you say?
Pedestrian [again, muttering]: Yeah, I get it. I'll remain silent.
Cop [putting hand to his ear, and speaking with some irritation]: Speak up! I can't hear you!
Pedestrian [now shouting]: Yes! Yes! I'm NOT TALKING with you!
Cop: Yeah, buddy, I can see that. You're not talking, you're shouting and you'd better knock it off, unless you wanna make things worse for yourself.
Pedestrian [calmer]: I'm just trying my best not to talk.
Cop [losing patience]: Oh, I see, wiseguy. Maybe you got a problem with impulse control. Probably why you committed the crime in the first place, eh? Why don't you just shut up already?!
Pedestrian: I ain't got no problem with impulse control. I'm just telling you I am not talking.
Cop: Well your lips are still flappin' and there's noise coming out, so obviously you're talking.
Pedestrian [sighing loudly]: If you'd just listen to me for a minute, I will tell you I am remaining silent. What part of that don't you understand!?
Cop [anger rising]: Don't mess with me, man. Just get in the car.
Pedestrian: Fine, I'll get in, but only after you understand that I'm remaining silent.
Cop: You're talking nonsense! Are you on drugs? Is that it? Can't stop babbling cuz of the drugs?
Pedestrian [in a panic]: OK, fine! I'll talk, I'll talk!
Cop: That's it, smartass. Just don't know when to shut up, do you. I'm gonna charge you with resisting arrest too.
[Days later, at trial, cop on the witness stand]: Yes, your honor, when I tried to inform the suspect of his rights he started screaming all sorts of gibberish. That's when I knew he was on drugs.