I rarely post but after reading Catchlightning's post on becoming unemployed I decided I would just to make sure we all remember, it's not over.
I just finished reading "catchlightning’ post on being unemployed as I have read all posts on the subject over the last two years. Why the last two years? Because this is the period of time my husband was unemployed after his job ‘was taken from him’. Each time I read a post my heart bled with the writer as I knew the despair of it all.
Our story started in January 2008 – before Bear Stearns before anyone was using the "R" word and way before the comparison to the Great Recession". My husband worked for a major commercial bank on Wall Street (not an investment bank) and lost his job of 23 years at the age of 50. I can still recall clearly the phone call I received from him and the shock and tears that came afterwards. I thought we had followed the path to the American Dream – the one we wished to have. Get a good education, get married, buy a home (with a fixed rate, deposit and low interest rate thank God), have children when we were able to live on one salary as it was my choice to be a stay-at-home mom, be there for our kids, save money for their college education and save for retirement. He thought he followed the ‘rules’ of being a good employee. Work hard, do extra when asked, get promotions (which usually meant more work and maybe more money later on) and all this would result in a steady job, good benefits, challenging career until voluntary retirement. How naïve we were. We knew the days of Donna Reed never existed yet how easy it was to fall for the hype.
We were luckier than most. My husband managed to get a severance package due to his relationship with his superiors and to the dismay of the new management in town. Yes, the bank had merged with another and there was a new sheriff in town. Loyalty no longer mattered anymore. He was told you’re out, don’t come back tomorrow. He still recalls how he never got a chance to say good-byes to so many people – just quietly walked out with what he could carry in a box.
In January 2008 we had no idea the economy would soon tank so there was no rush to start the job hunting nor could he. This hit him hard and he needed time to re-group himself. Our thoughts were he could take his time, find something less stressful and closer to home (his commute had been 1 ½ hours each way). Oddly though he noticed the job listings were slight and no one was calling. A ritual began – my husband’s job hunting became a job. Hours on the phone and on the computer every day. New buzz words arrived – LinkedIn, Monster.com, CareerBuilders, Ladders.com and unemployment insurance. New York State gave us $400 a week for a family of four in an area where our property taxes alone were almost $1000/month. Sounds like we lived in an expensive area ? No we are in a blue collar, middle class area but in New York State everyone gets hit hard.
Then the severance ended along with the health insurance. COBRA began at the cost of $1600/per month. Health insurance - for 23 years we took it for granted. Pregnancy/childbirth expenses all paid. Children doctor visits, immunizations all paid. Medicines also paid. After awhile the cost was too much and we had to purchase less expensive insurance with less coverage. Many days I wondered would next month be the last one we could afford to pay insurance? (A silver lining to all this – my husband who was a Republican was now an Obama Democrat. A perfect example of how people change their minds about issues when it affects them personally but also sad that so many are like this. Part of the Republican mind-set?)
So there were hundreds, maybe thousands of resumes and hundreds of hours on the computer, eating pasta and peanut butter sandwiches days in a row, telling my kids no we can’t afford that, putting my kids on government subsidized lunch plans, cutting back on as much as possible, no eating out, no movies, no vacations, no shopping for new clothes– just essentials. Was it hard, yes? Very hard especially when the savings account got lower and lower, like everyone else we lost value in our 401(k) and even more since we had to take out a withdrawal (and pay taxes and a penalty). But again, a silver lining my kids learned an important lesson – you don’t need a lot of ‘stuff’ nor do you need something because ‘everyone else has it’.
Finally a job popped up. A temporary one – but a job. Hooray the credit cards can start to be paid off. Especially since Citibank decides to charge me 27% interest though I have always paid on time and never missed a payment. Even better there are health benefits available through the temp agency. The light at the end of the tunnel is slightly visible. Could it get better? Yes and it did, the temp position would probably become permanent in a few months in January 2010 with the new budget and headcount. So in August 2009 my husband went back to work. Could we believe it was finally over for us?
No it wasn’t over. They changed their minds; no new positions. Budget reasons. And to make it worse the original 5 month temporary job period was now cut to 3 months. It was worse the second time around. The sense of despair, depression. Would this ever end? Why us?
We got lucky, we just made it to be qualified for the COBRA subsidy. One less major expense this time plus my husband was able to get unemployment again. Then the politics started – Republicans felt we had gotten too much unemployment insurance and were enjoying being paid to stay home and not have to work. Losing one week of benefits was horrible; that is how desperate it can be. Now our own government was against us. Those who had so much felt we, who had so little, had just enough.
Two and a half years later, almost all our savings gone, beaten down it finally happened. A job interview, then a second interview then the offer. A permanent job. It was really over. My husband was one of the lucky ones, a job in his profession, at the same level position as before. The salary? Only 2/3 of what he was making before. But it was more than we had been getting so it felt like millions. We got through it; we were all healthy, we had our home still and are now able to pay our bills.
I never thought getting a job made someone lucky. But we are. I look for the positive: my husband was able to bond more with his children by being Mr. Mom at home for two years and they learned saving money is important and you don’t "need" everything you want.
My heart goes out to all my fellow Americans who are still experiencing the pain of losing a job as well as losing their hopes for the future. All things do pass; though for all of us, I pray this passes soon.