Here on the Great Orange Satan, we see many open letters. Letters to President Obama, letters to members of Congress, letters to other members, letters to other letters, and letters that are so lacking in cohesion that we laugh them off. So far I’ve written diaries with at least some purpose, but not today. This diary stems out of the utter need to just say something. If no one reads this or if every pair of eyes that peruses DailyKos reads it, it’s a success. I just need to blow off some steam. So, if you’ll allow me a few minutes of your time, my random jumble of open letters…
Dear Republicans,
You are plagued with sex scandals, money scandals, ethics scandals, moral scandals and just about every other scandal known to the human race. You are equivalent in IQ and maturity to dental floss, and even that is an insult to the IQ and maturity of dental floss. Your solution to everything is NO and when it is your turn to step up, you eat cake. Your constant hateful and racist rhetoric has not gone unnoticed by the people of this great nation. Hypocrisy spews out of your mouths faster than George Bush can spew his dinner on the Japanese Prime Minister. I would beg you to stop your downward spiral into the pit of obscurity, but I rather enjoy watching your self destruction, as it is beneficial to the welfare of our country. Please continue to suck, so we can continue to move forward. Thanks.
Much love,
weatherdude
Dear Teabaggers,
There are not enough words in the English language to describe how I feel about you. The dramatic rise and spectacular fall of your rather disjointed organization was borderline orgasmic. You have officially become more obscure and less important in our country’s history than all of the previous American Idol winners combined. I’m not sure what led to your downfall. It could have been the joyous signs, friendly conversations, acts of neighborly love, passion for livestock, or just the downright warmth your members radiate towards the rest of the country. Your love for the Constitution and rights of every American citizen is what I’ll miss the most about you. I sincerely thank you for embracing every member of our country. It is truly admirable that in 2010, we can look past one’s race or nationality and support one another as we move forward to better the United States. I encourage you all to run a candidate in every House and Senate election in the country whenever possible if you are unsuccessful in securing the Republican nomination for that seat. It is for the best.
Warmest regards,
weatherdude
Dear fellow Democrats,
I’m really proud of how much we’ve accomplished since Barack Obama and our Democratic Congress were elected in 2008. We’ve gotten a lot done, and we have much more work to do. We need to strengthen some stuff we’ve accomplished, fix some stuff that’s happened, and hurry up with stuff that needs to be done. We survived the presidential primaries, the healthcare flame wars, the Tea Party, and several scandals that weren’t. Dammit, if we can survive all that, we can survive anything. We can’t let a bunch of crybabies still pouting over their ass whoopin’ in 2008 take away the progress we’ve made and we’ve yet to make. Bill Halter’s loss last night is depressing, but we cannot give up. There are many more races to be won. We didn’t get this far just to let the wingnuts come in and drive the car back into the ditch. Don’t get complacent and don’t give up, we need to win this year, next year, and every year. I believe in us.
FSM bless,
weatherdude
Dear World,
We’re not really as crazy as we sound. Sure, we may have a few nutjobs, but who doesn’t? Not all of us are bad. Ignore the Republicans and Tea Party, they’re just whining that they don’t have power. Just remember that the Republicans and Teabaggers caused this and this. Oh, and this. And this. Remember that? Yeah. That is why we fight so hard to keep them out of power. We won’t soon forget what they did to our country, and neither should you.
International hugs and kisses,
weatherdude
Dear Kossack,
Thank you for reading this far. I just needed to rant and type and vent a little bit. As a reward for sticking with me through this, have a pootie.
Meow,
weatherdude
Dear Tweeps,
Don’t forget that I have a Twitter account that you should follow. It’s mostly political with a little bit of my boring life thrown in the mix. It’s a fun time and new followers get a cookie.
#p2 forever,
@dmerser91