This diary was inspired by this rec listed diary today. So I dedicate all the brickbats to the other diarist and will gladly take all the bouquets.
You are a fan of Bill O Reilly and never miss his show. One day, you hear him trash an extreme librul site called daily kos and your interest is kindled since you hate libruls so much. So, after much googling, you locate the website.
Visiting the website, you read some articles (which are crazily called as diaries) where they are piling on your conservative icons like ronald Raygun, rush limbaugh, sean hannity and of course bill o reily. Naturally, this gets your blood boiling and you want to rebut these MF’ers. Then you realize you can’t do it unless you register. So, you go for it (despite your instincts telling you that it’s all a bad idea) and sign up with a badass racist name.
Now that you are in, you have 2 options. You can either rebut the posters directly to their posts or you can do your own ‘diary’. Since you have so much to say, you decide to go for the latter option (again overruling your gut instincts).
You spend an hour thinking up an inflammatory diary title that will mock the libruls you so hate. Then coming to the subject, you stay up most of the night writing your ‘diary’ with rethuglican talking points/dem bashing eric erikson points/teabaggers racist shite about Obama. You write that diary of 3-4 grafs’ all night with poor formatting, syntax and spelling. Viola, you’re done and so you hit the ‘publish the diary’ button.
Boom comes the message ‘the diary cannot be published with tags’. Tags ? What the fuck are tags ? You fumble around for an hour since the fucking diary won’t publish without them fucking tags regardless of how many times you hit the publish diary button. You then finally figure it out and put some offensive shit as tags. Now you are ready to go and hit that publish button and viola again, you almost come in your undies when you see the message "the diary is now published".
Now to your utter dismay, your diary is published with ‘Tip Jar’ as the first comment with two buttons, Recommend & Hide. You go, "WTF is a Tip Jar and What is a Hide ?" (since you do 'get' recommend). You can’t do anything with it and you can’t fucking edit/delete it. So, you decide to wait & see what happens to your precious little first diary.
It’s your tough luck that due to your stupid meddling most of the night with your diary, it got published at around 5 am just when some hardcore kossacks are just out of their beds and are groggily checking out the dkos bright and early while the coffee maker is on the job. Just as bees are drawn to the honey, sure enough the first thing that catches the eye of these dyed-in-the-wool kossacks is your stupid inflammatory title. By now totally pissed off (since the fucking coffee is not ready yet), the first Hide is dropped into your Tip Jar and you go whoopity-whoop since you don’t know a shite about what Hide means (called as HR's from here onwards).
Then you see the first reply that sez "Fuck off, troll. Have a donut" and you realize that a HR is not a good thing. Oops, by that time it is too late since you see a steady increase of HR’s to your Tip Jar followed by taunts, jeers, snide jokes at your expense. Some kossacks, pitying you, ask you to delete your fucking diary. This makes you only angrier (after all, this is your fucking baby and who are these fuckers to ask you delete it). You call them all sortsa names so loudly from your basement that your mom comes down to see what the heck you’re up to.
Now it’s 6 am and the other slacker kossacks are sauntering in to check out the dkos. The no. of comments in your diary (since they set the diary preference to max no. of comments) hits their eyes and they decide to check out what the brouhaha is all about even though there is a warning sign of your title. They decide to join in the fun and right in front of your fucking unbelieving eyes, the HR’s are piling up and not a single recommend is seen. The taunts and the recipes (you don’t know why would anyone post fucking recipes on the netz) get worse and multiple evokings of MB are made (you don’t know a shite what MB means either).
After some 300 odd comments and 150 odd HR’s to your Tip Jar, MB wakes up and bans your sorry ass and some kossack points out that fact to you (and everyone). But by then, it’s too late since you didn’t have the fucking brains to delete your diary when such calls were made.
So, at the end of the day, all you have to show for your efforts is all those fucking HR's stuck to your Tip Jar like limpets forever for everyone to see. That’s when you realize kossacks are bad asses and decide not to visit dkos ever again.
At last, one good decision from you.