Both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert took aim at the GOP last night for their hypocrisy over defending, then attacking, then defending, then attacking BP.
First, about Louisiana's day of prayer to stop the oil spill, Jon had this comment.
You know, actually, the oil is under a mile of seawater and another 2 1/2 miles of sediment earth, so I think God has done enough to prevent these spills.
Videos below the fold.
What do you do when mortals and gods don't have a solution to the problem? Money. Recently-minted mortal Barack Obama got BP to put $20 billion in an escrow account to pay back all those impacted by the disaster. Good news, for almost everybody.
HALEY BARBOUR (6/15): The president and I disagree on this escrow fund.
MICHELE BACHMANN (6/15): There's a misreading of the Constitution, and a misunderstanding of jurisdictional limits from this White House. ... Now it seems that it's all about extortion.
Yeah, "you broke it, you bought it" is not extortion. Just like "give a penny, take a penny" is not stealing... or philanthropy. You know what I'm saying.
Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi, you have the most to gain from this money...
BARBOUR: It bothers me to talk about causing an escrow to be made, which makes it less likely that they'll make the income to pay us.
(in Barbour voice) How are they gonna pay us if they already done paid us?
You know, that's not circular logic, that's circle jerkular logic. Extree, extree! Big bad Obama extorts private industry!
It had become a go-to Republican talking point endorsed by the Republican Study Committee. They count 114 Congressmen as members, and last Wednesday blasted the escrow fund as "Chicago-style shakedown politics". As you know, Chicago-style shakedown politics is like regular shakedown politics, except just as you're about to get your money, Steve Bartman fucks it up for you.
(I do feel badly... I can just imagine right now Steve Bartman sitting in a bar, going, "Really, dude? Haven't we been over this? Can I have my life back?")
Turns out the Republican Steve Bartman is Congressman Joe Barton.
JOE BARTON (6/17): I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown. ... So I apologize.
Yeah! Shakedown, right? Talking point, I nailed it, right? Apologize to everybody, right? Any... one... guys?? I mean, other Congressional Republcians? Anyone?
LISA MURKOWSKI (6/20): The statement that Representative Barton made was wrong.
RICHARD SHELBY (6/20): I think that was a dumb statement.
MITCH MCCONNELL (6/20): I couldn't disagree with Joe Barton more.
MARSHA BLACKBURN (6/18): And he certainly was not speaking for me.
SHELBY (6/20): The Congressman only spoke for himself. That is not mainstream Republican thought.
... anymore. It was a mainstream Republican thought. It wasn't a fringe Republican thought, he was quoting a memo put out by two-thirds of your caucus. But at least ol' Haley Barbour will stand up for him.
BARBOUR (6/20): I don't think what he said was accurate, because I think the way that it's worked out, was dividing it up into $5 billion a year, instead of one $20 billion lump sum, I think actually is a fair good deal for everybody.
So making BP pay for the Gulf of Mexico is wrong. Making BP put the Gulf of Mexico on layaway, that's how it's supposed to work. Michele Bachmann, will you stand by him? You said this fund was against the Constitution, and you used the word "extortion". You gotta love what Barton did.
BACHMANN (6/18): No one is saying that this fund shouldn't be set up.
YOUUUUUUUUU were saying that!!! Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was saying that. In fact, she was saying it three days.... Am I the only one of the two of us who listens to what you say?
Jon and John Oliver then spent some time hitting Tony Hayward for his yacht race over the weekend. Oliver noted Hayward did race on his lifeboat, instead of his usual boat, shown here.
Oh, and he also had to postpone his dolphin hunt until later. Check out what he caught last year!
Stephen Colbert then showed the key clips of several right-wing pundits DEFENDING BP and Barton's comments after he made them.
Then to secure his popularity, Barton punched an orphan with a boxing glove made of kittens. Now, what Barton said shocked the nation, even Republicans like John Boehner backed away so fast, you'd think Barton had said it in Spanish. So, Barton then apologized for his apology.
BARTON (6/17): I want the record to be absolutely clear, that I think BP is responsible for this accident. ... If anything I said this morning has been misconstrued, in an opposite effect, I want to apologize for that misconstrued misconstruction.
Coincidentally, Misconstrued Misconstruction is also the name of the company that BP hired to build the well. But I, personally, folks, I'm not sure Barton should apologize for his apology. And a lot of pundits are on the fence with me.
LAURA INGRAHAM (6/17): I think that Joe Barton, before he apologized, had a legitimate point.
RUSH LIMBAUGH (6/17): And then all of a sudden you get called into the White House, and you get shake down (sic).
BACHMANN (6/15): It seems to me there's a misreading of the Constitution, and a misunderstanding of jurisdictional limits from this White House on what the extent of executive power is.
BEN STEIN (6/18): I'm not sure if a pelican is more important than the Constitution. Frankly, I don't think it is.
You're right, Ben Stein. There's only one Constitution. There are at least three pelicans left. This is clearly a shakedown, folks. No oil company would ever voluntarily do the right thing! This $20 billion escrow account is a violation of cashtitutional rights!
....
No due process! That is a violation of the Constitution! You can't just seize $20 billion and lock it away without a trial. It's not like it's a person. Now luckily, Tony Hayward is. So, Obama, do the right thing. Let that money go, and lock up Jeeves here. And you know where you can put him? Guantanamo Bay. Because you haven't closed it yet, and no one's asking you to apologize for that.
Oooh, got in a slam at Obama as well.
So... what now? These clips should be seen by every American. Spread the word. Send the links to your friends and family that don't regularly watch Jon and Stephen. They need to see the current brand of Republican hypocrisy and defense of BP laid out bare. They cannot be allowed to get away with planting sloppy wet kisses on BP and other corporate powers only on Fox News to their base. Democrats and Independents need to see this.
And if you know anyone who lives in a district of a member of that Republican Study Committee, make sure you send them Jon's clip, and let 'em know their Congressperson signed on to the idiotic "shakedown" comment.