Finally, at long last, we have a champion willing to stand up for Americans everywhere and stop the endless cycle of entitlement to a group that has for too long suckled the fiscal teat of Lady Liberty:
Ensuring there’s enough money to pay for the war will require reforming the country’s entitlement system, Boehner said. He said he’d favor increasing the Social Security retirement age to 70 for people who have at least 20 years until retirement, tying cost-of-living increases to the consumer price index rather than wage inflation and limiting payments to those who need them.
It's high time someone calls out those freeloading old people, and asks them to make sacrifices to ensure that America continues to prosper.
Aside from fighting in wars, defending America, and working their whole lives to ensure that America prospered under the impression that America would take care of them when they could no longer work, what exactly have old people done for us lately? Nothing more than sit back, relax (assuming their health allows that sort of luxury, of course), and collect an average of $1,169.20 per month.
That's nearly $300 per week, or almost 40 whole dollars per day! Talk about living in style.
I haven't done much any research at all, but I have compiled an exhaustive and comprehensive list of the things I would be able to buy with about $40 per day, assuming I was living it up like our elderly citizens are.
I could buy:
About $40 worth of beer. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Man, just thinking about all that scratch makes me eager to get back to work tomorrow, and the day after, and almost every single day for the next 40 years or so (assuming that those 69 year olds don't fuck it up for us by being freedloaders, of course) until I can retire at a nice, virile 70, ready to live entirely on my budget outlined above.
This depends heavily on it being feasible to subsist entirely on beer, which my doctor assured me I cannot do.
Now, I already hear some of you socialist pig dogs shouting that if we're really so broke, the belt tightening should start amongst those who make the most, perhaps amongst politicians like Boehner himself, who apparently makes $174,000, which is $477 per day. Under my daily food budget of beer and nothing else, I could probably live for about 4 hours before I died of alcohol poisoning, as I have no impulse control.
But my larger point is, the politicians need to make the big bucks because they need to be compensated for making the tough decisions, decisions like shafting Social Security beneficiaries.
Boehner continues:
"We need to look at the American people and explain to them that we’re broke," Boehner said. "If you have substantial non-Social Security income while you’re retired, why are we paying you at a time when we’re broke? We just need to be honest with people."
That conversation will have all of the grace of a cow falling out of a tree, and only 60% of the hilarity.
You tell ME Boehner doesn't deserve all that money of his when he's gotta say that shit above with a straight face.
The bottom line is that all those Elderly Richie McMoneybags' out there will no longer be getting free rides. Boehner's got the right of it, and in tough economic times like these, what do you expect? Accountability for the crooks and fuckers who brought this mess onto us in the first place?
Don't be ridiculous.
EDIT: I clarified a sentence that was poorly written, thus giving it almost the exact opposite meaning I intended. Thanks JRandomPoster for bringing it to my attention. I also changed "Senators" to "politicians" because I'm an idiot and confused Senators with Representatives. Thanks to flygrrl for that correction, although not quite as much thanks as I gave to JRandomPoster, since you made me feel much dumber. ;op
EDIT 2: My God, I'm a dummy today. contrary1965 fixed my math, Boehner doesn't make $5800 per day, lol. So, the key to enjoying this diary appears to be ignoring the specifics and just enjoying the ordering of the letters and words. Have fun with that!