http://www.reuters.com/...
General Petraeus in Afghanistan warns of tough mission
Okay! A tough mission! Can't wait to read the details...
KABUL (Reuters) - The United States' top field commander, General David Petraeus, warned on Saturday of a tough mission ahead... in Afghanistan.
Oh, yes -- it will be tough!
Petraeus (said) that it was essential to show unity of purpose to solve Afghanistan's problems.
We're going to solve Afghanistan's problems! That's the goal! I guess that means -- well, what? Come with me futrther and we'll see...
"This is a tough mission, there is nothing easy about it," he said...
Again -- it's gonna be TOUGH! How tough? Well...Tough!
Petraeus is charged with...winning the war...
And we're gonna WIN? What does win mean, you ask? Why, we're gonna SOLVE AFGHANISTAN'S PROBLEMS! What "problems?" Well, I'm sure we'll find out. Let's have patience...
It entails tackling the Taliban in their strongholds while relying on the government to simultaneously improve local governance and development.
Why, we'll....TACKLE THE TALIBAN IN THEIR STRONGHOLDS! Yessiree Bob! And I'm sure there's little chance they might take off and settle -- oh, anywhere else in that mountainous, barren country! But if there is -- we'll tackle 'em again there! We'll follow them to the four corners of Afghanistan! They'll have no mountain cave left to hide in! With every single fucking mountain cave of the half million mountain caves in Afghanistan -- after we "TACKLE THEM" in a cave, we'll leave a whole bunch of troops there so that they can NEVER come back!
Not just that. we're going to rely on the government to improve local government to improve local governance and development -- WITH THIS CRACK TEAM......
The last two weeks have.... new reports of corruption in President Hamid Karzai's government and the change in command of foreign forces. Doubts have also been raised over the commitment of the government to push governance and development alongside the military drive, and also the ability of Afghan forces to take over responsibility for security.
All right!
And...even before the government does that -- they are -- as we speak -- MAKING PEACE OVERTURES...
...peace overtures ...have been rejected by the hardline Islamist movement, which insists all foreign forces must leave before they will end the insurgency.
But someday, we're sure the Islamic hardliners will listen to reason. After all, why else would we be there?
Oh, General, when I read this a wave of calm settled in -- now that I know we will win the war.
UPDATE
Thanks, y'all for the support! You know there is such a wellspring of possible things to do with this, I might do another diary or few or more on this.
It should be lots of fun -- especially as there is no possible way to defend this.