Worried and stressed out by all the tsoris in the nation and world these days? Is the wailing and gnashing of teeth giving you a headache? Sickened by epidemic asshattery?
Fret no more, for just as Illinois gave unto the nation Ronald Reagan, Phyllis Schlafley, Dan Lipinski, George Will, and Melissa Bean, we also provide as atonement, epic comic relief.
As we slide into the weekend, why not do so with the greatest hits (so far) of Rod Blagojevich on your phone:
Kudos to the Springfield State Journal-Register, which has culled from the hundreds of hours of tapes these clips of Rod Blagojevich for use as ringtones.
Follow the instructions and amuse your family and friends with which comment you're using for their phone calls!
Dreading a call from your boss? You'll know it's here when you hear
Look it, I gotta tell you: I don’t wanna be governor for the next two years. I wanna get going. I’ll, I, this has been two (expletive) (expletive) years where I’m doing the best I can trying to get through a brick wall and find ways around stuff but it’s like just (expletive) my family and time is passing me by and I’m stuck. It’s no good. It’s no good. I gotta get moving. The whole world’s passing me by and I’m stuck in this (expletive) job as governor now.
Endear yourself to your spouse with
You know now is the time for me to put my (expletive) children and my wife first. For a change.
And who among us wouldn't want the instant classic
I’ve got this thing and it’s (expletive) golden. And I’m just not giving it up for (expletive) nothing.
As for the trial, the prosecution rested earlier this week, and the defense begins its case on Monday. Follow the coverage at the Sun-Times, Tribune, and the indispensable Capitol Fax Blog.