And of course, he brought up his former roommate's excellent rant on the House floor. (Yes, Jon and Anthony Weiner used to be roommates.)
This is one of the few clips where I've seen Jon genuinely angry. He was PISSED, and rightly so.
As you know, we talk a lot on this program about how Congress can be somewhat ineffectual, or short-sighted, or ignorant, or a fetid pool of corruption and stupidity, located at the intersection of Entitlement Avenue and Abject Dereliction of Duty Lane. I'm sorry, what are we talking about again? Ah, Congress. All right, credit where credit is due. Last week, the House of Representatives took up a pressing issue with bipartisan support.
7/29/2010:
REP. FRANK PALLONE (D-NJ): Today is an important step towards ensuring that the appropriate resources are available to take care of those who risked their lives to save others on September 11th.
....
REP. JOHN SHIMKUS (R-IL): Mr. Speaker, our committee can do great work when we work together.
Yes we can. And what better reason to work together than on a bill providing health care for 9/11 first responders and relief workers currently suffering chronic health problems directly related to their brave service? It's one of Congress's finest hours. I'm sorry, sir, I cut you off. Continue.
SHIMKUS: Mr. Speaker, our committee can do great work when we work together. This is not one of our finest times.
Hey, what the... what? Wait... I... are... wait... I... are... under what... are you objecting to this bill? How? Why? What? Wet? Wicker? Whaa? Yes, this story now falls under the rubric of our brand new segment, I GIVE UP. All right, naysayers, let's hear why you're against it.
REP. DAVE CAMP (R-MI): The legislation has been paired with a fundamentally flawed and job-destroying tax increase, and therefore I will vote against it.
Oh! Oh! There's a tax increase to pay for this. I'm sorry. I didn't know they were going to try to pay for the bill to provide health care for those suffering from their heroism with a tax. My guess is it must be an incredibly reprehensible and onerous tax to cancel out you willingness to have such a program. Is it a tax on, oh I don't know, babies? Is it a fine for acts of kindness? Is it a tariff on parents who allow their children to retain their virginity pass the age of 14? For I, too, would reject such a measure.
Or is this tax actually just a closing of a loophole to prevent "foreign multinational corporations incorporated in tax haven countries from avoiding tax on income earned in the U.S." Translation: your P.O. Box on Grand Cayman Island ain't fooling anybody, Jack. My guess is Rep. Camp found himself decamped even from his own colleagues on this one.
REP. KEVIN BRADY (R-TX): Going through that rubble, and their heroism themselves, they went there to save survivors, not to raise taxes.
(audience groan) You fill my heart with sadness. I mean, if they had... I don't even... I honestly... I just don't... I guess if 9/11 responders had known taxes might have been raised because of their heroism well, I imagine there would have been quite a different scene on 9/11.
"All right, there's people stranded on the 89th floor, but before I rush in, you gotta promise me, McCluskey, you gotta promise me and my family that this will not affect the Swiss Pharmaceutical Company's offshore tax status! You gotta promise me that! Or I'm not going in there!"
(to Kevin Brady) You're an asshole!
This... this is making me angry. This is... this is making me angry. It's making me angry and I feel like screaming. But I'm unsure about how far my neck veins can safely bulge out of my neck before blood squirts over my entirely innocent audience. So I'll let New York representative, and this is true, former Jon Stewart not-as-gay-as-it-sounds summer-share pal Anthony Weiner, I'll let him do the screaming for me.
REP. ANTHONY WEINER (D-NY): YOU VOTE YES IF YOU BELIEVE YES! YOU VOTE IN FAVOR OF SOMETHING IF YOU BELIEVE IT'S THE RIGHT THING! ... INSTEAD OF STANDING UP AND DEFENDING YOUR COLLEAGUES AND VOTING NO ON THIS HUMANE BILL, YOU SHOULD URGE THEM TO VOTE YES! ... I WILL NOT YIELD TO THE GENTLEMAN! ... IT IS A SHAME! A SHAME!! ... THE GENTLEMAN WILL SIT! THE GENTLEMAN IS CORRECT IN SITTING!
Now, in no way do I mean to diminish Congressman Weiner's passion on this issue, but that is exactly what it looked like when you used his peanut butter:
"THE GENTLEMAN FROM NEW JERSEY WILL PAY $1.50 FOR THAT SKIPPY! $1.50! THE GENTLEMAN IS CORRECT IN PAYING $1.50!"
Now, with that kind of passion on the Democrats' side, and the clear majority in the House of Representatives, I can't believe this bill was defeated. Let's take a look at the vote total right there.
255... Wait, there's 435 seats, so you need 218 to pass, so... that... that's a majority. That's actually a very good, big ma... How did this not pass again?
FOX NEWS, 7/30/2010: Democrats used a procedure which required a 2/3s vote for passage. They got a majority, but they didn't get the 2/3s needed.
Why the fuck would you use that? Why would you make this harder, Democrats?
GLORIA BORGER, CNN (7/30/2010): The Republicans are trying to amend this money, and say, OK, you have this $7 billion, but none of it can go to illegal immigrants, for example, who might have been at Ground Zero.
Wait... what... why... wait... what... what the... oh no, ok, ok, that makes sense. I guess if you spent days crawling through rubble and ash, inhaling toxic fumes and permanently damaging your internal organs, all to save the lives or ease the pain of the American people, but you don't have an H1-B work visa, you're clearly a freeloading asshole who deserves nothing.
Why don't the Democrats, with their majority, just say, I don't know, vote something like that down under the Asinine Amendments Won't Fly Act?
BORGER: They didn't want to have to vote on that amendment.
....
DON LEMON, CNN: Democrats used rules requiring wider majorities for approval to prevent Republicans from offering amendments on the floor, that they said would embarrass them in an election year.
Did I mention that I give up? Well, in a media culture that throws shit fits when something as minor as Erykah Badu disrobing for some low-budget video performance street art publicity stunt...
MEGYN KELLY, FOX NEWS: CAN YOU NOT EVEN WALK DOWN THE SIDEWALK NOW WITHOUT BEING FORCED TO OBSERVE RANDOM STRANGERS NUDE???
No, no, you can't. You can't. You can't walk down the sidewalk without that happening. Imagine, imagine the seismic pundit ripples of anger when politicians put craven political expedience over the well-being of our nation's most deserving heroes.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS: I don't know the particulars of the bill, as to... and to the points of it. ... I have no idea what Anthony Weiner is even talking about, he's just screaming, and it's such a turnoff.
Is it? Is it a turnoff? Is that from your Playboy profile, "my turnoffs include Weiner screaming, and in any way justifying my being treated as an expert"?
If Congress can't get 2/3s of a vote majority for 9/11 health care, what can they get 2/3s for? Let's say... in the very same week of their first responders debacle?
REP. JOHN BOCCIERI (D-OH, 7/27/2010): The Protecting Gun Owners and Bankruptcy Act will ensure that families can keep these prized possessions, and continue to pass them on for generations to come.
SPEAKER (7/28/2010): 2/3s being in the affirmative, the rules are suspended, the bill is passed.
Hello. Bankrupt and about to lose your house? While your neighbors continue to live in peace and financial security? Well, good news. Why don't you and Bessy here go live there? Unless of course they have guns. But don't worry, you'll find a house that doesn't.
If both sides of the Congressional aisle are making decisions solely based on this season's political ads and political expediency, perhaps we should start running this ad.
ELDERLY WOMAN: Have you seen the news? The Republicans sure are fucking assholes.
ELDERLY MAN: I know, but the Democrats sure are fucking pussies.
ELDERLY WOMAN: What can we do?
VOICEOVER: Call your Congressperson and tell them they're just fucking terrible.