If you ordinarily choose food based on ethical, moral, or political reasons, how far do you take those choices when you are eating with others, serving guests, or being a guest?
My diary yesterday attempted to explore this issue using Chelsea Clinton's wedding as a frame. She's a vegetarian, yet the wedding dinner included short ribs.
But the topic is not about Chelsea (aside to Chelsea: great dress! long and happy life! I don't care what you served ... you just made a choice I never would have thought of.) It's about how you handle three types of food situations.
It's about how you handle the delicate mix of food, ethics, and community.
First off, this isn't a lifestyle fluff piece because money and resources spent on food consume a large part of our budgets. Religion aside, eating low on the food chain is one of the real changes you can make every day to slow global warming, reduce animal and human suffering, and reduce pollution. Cooking local food from scratch supports your local community, makes it possible for small local farmers to make a living, and encourages small businesses over huge corporations, and makes you healthier and more independent. And it's delicious.
But that's my criteria. You may follow a kosher, halal, macrobiotic, or vegan diet. Maybe you eat meat but not veal or foie gras or cook only kindly raised meat. We're talking about ethical choices, not allergies or taste preferences.
Situation 1: Brown-bag lunch. A group eats together, with everyone bringing his or her own food. Do you eat the same way that you do in the privacy of your home? Do you eat things you'd never eat at home to fit in? Or do you eat with the same precepts, but in a way that blends in? For example, a vegan might eat PB&J sandwiches and carrot sticks but never bring left-over tempeh stirfry.
Situation 2: You are the host or hostess. You are responsible for the food at an event. Do you showcase your particular ethical choices (try this delicious tofu lasagna!)? Do you serve "normal" food that you would never otherwise buy or eat to please your guests or avoid mockery? Or do you serve food with the same precepts, but again blend in? For example, serve all-organic, locally grown and kindly raised lamb, asparagus, and strawberries at your family Easter feast without mentioning that it cost a lot more than the factory chicken, Cheetos, and Cool Whip your cousins served for Christmas.
Situation 3: You are the guest. Do you ask before accepting the invitation if the event will have food that you'd choose to eat? If the invitation comes with a query about your food preferences, what do you say? If it doesn't, do you decline the invitation? (Please share why you would not go to an event because of the food.) Do you eat whatever is served, in full and "normal" amounts? Do you eat only the sorts of food you would otherwise if you can do so without being rude? For example, at a buffet or passed-dish dinner, you don't take any shellfish since they are unclean according to your code, but for a plated dinner, you eat a crab cake to avoid offense.
Personally, I've like to use situation 1 as a way to set an example about the variety of food available that matches my criteria (vegetarian, made from scratch, and as green as possible: organic, sustainably grown, local, in season). I don't bring it up, but I'm happy to talk about it when someone asks. I don't like talking about why I'm a vegetarian (OK, flexitarian. See #3) at the table, but I will. The reasons don't whet my appetite.
For situation 2, I usually serve mix and match meals, with the variety of food going up as the number of guests and the unknown quality of the requirements goes up. Again, I showcase the possibility of eating Cook for Good style while trying to have food that will make everyone happy. For a big buffet, I might have pimento-cheese sandwiches, Cuban black beans on rice, and a curry with various toppings, with cake and fruit for dessert. Everything labeled or explained, with options for folks who are gluten intolerant, diabetic, or vegan.
For situation 3, I don't ask about the food for social engagements but do for business ones. When asked, I express a preference for vegetarian food but say I'm a flexitarian: happy to be invited and please just serve what you had planned. At the event, I avoid meat if possible, but eat a little if there's not a way to avoid being rude. For non-social events, I feel that asking for or praising vegetarian options is a way to help change the dietary norm in the country. Yes, every request is but a drop of water on the stone, but it seems to be working. I'd go to a wedding for someone I cared about no matter what was served, but have quit going to Democratic Women in part because I got tired of paying $16 for a meal that too often consisted of factory chicken and tossed salad with bacon.
How do you handle these situations? Take the poll and give details in comments.