Two facts to know up front:
For 23 years I've spent a week every summer at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, reveling in productions of plays by Guess-Who and others.
For the last couple of years I've carried on an email correspondence with my sister's two kittehz, Dooley and Buster. In lolcat.
If either fact causes you to yawn or roll your eyes, please exit this diary now and go read something you'd enjoy.
If you sense lolz ahead and want to play, please come over the jump!
o hai, dkos pootiez!!!! membr on anuvvr day i rietd u 2 storehz frm playz bai mr willm shaekspurrr. wuz storehz i telld 2 my kitteh frendz doolz n bustr. u puttd pichrz n lolz inna commentz n stuff, n doolz n bustr reedid evvrtihng n approobd. tehyz not shur tehy wants 2 b calld pootiez, but tehy liekz it wehn aminals n tehr hoominz can has fun wif storehs.
so 2day i has storehz 2 tellz u frm 2 moer playz, n mebbe we haz moer lolz aftr u reedz tehm. see wut u finkz, k?
teh murrchnt ob veniss
k, murrchnt is sumbuddy hoo buyz n sells lotsa stuffz, n veniss is a citeh neer a oshum faraway wehr alla streetsez is full of wattr alla tiem, o noez, DO NOT WANT!!!!!! dun wurreh abowt teh wattr tho, is not part ob teh storeh n nobdy inna storeh getz all wet.
storeh is all abowt luv n monehz, moessly monehz. is a man wez gunna call B (all peeplz in tihs storeh has long silleh naemz, iz fixn um) hooz spendid all his monehz on dumm stuff n dussn has nny moer monehz, sry. so he wantsa get marryd 2 a laydeh naem P hoo has bunchez ob monehz n shez kewt 2. but furss he hasta travl 2 wehr she livz n has niess cloez 2 waer n sum pressnts n stuff plus win a dumm gessn gaem at teh ladehz ded dad maed up 2 pik owt her husbnd, so B needz a buncha gess wut, monehz. so he aksez his frend A 4 sum monehz, n A is teh murrchnt in kwesshun.
A luvz B elebenty n wantsa giv him lotsa monehz, but all his buyn n selln stuffz r in boetzes onna oshum n he dussn has much monehz till teh boetsez com hoem. so he aksez 4 monehz frm his emeni S, but he aksez all meen n stuffz. n S sayz k, u can has sum monehz, but if u dussn pay um all baks in tihs mny dayzes, tehn i getz 2 bietz u rlly rlly hard, ow!!!!!!! n A saiz fien, cuz he wantsa giv teh monehz 2 B n hez all shur his boetzez ull be hoem suun.
tehn B bisitz teh laydeh P n winz teh gessn gaem, w00t! but tehn As shipz is not com hoem on tiem n S wantsa bietz him, oh noez!!!! so nachrleh beein hoominz tehy hasta go to kort to argyoo abowt it, n teh laydeh P dressus up liek a man (tahts hao we noez mr willm shaekspurrr roet tihs play) n goez 2 kort n saefz teh day 4 evvrbdy assep S, hooz not happeh. n tehrz a dumm joek wif ringsez at teh end. teh end!
is a komplikaytd storeh, huh? diddn eebn tell u bowt the dottr ob S hoo runs awae wif a frend ob B. oy.
henreh teh 4f, part wun
is not part wun ob henreh, is part wun ob teh storeh ob henreh. akshully is not eebn taht, cuz partz uv henrehz storeh wuz in a play wif sum1 elssuz naem. nnyway, henreh is a king hoo wuzzn alwyz a king. but he thot teh king b4 him wuz doin it RONG, so he n sum frends maed taht king say kthxbai, n tehn henreh wuz teh king. at all happnz b4 teh play startz.
nao sum ob henrehz frends fink taht henreh is doin it RONG how hez bein king, pwnin tehm alla tiem n stuffz, so tehy hachiz a plan 2 fietz wif him n maek him not king nnymoer. so king henreh has a wurreh abowt taht, n he has anuvvr wurreh abowt his sun. sun is naemd henreh also, cuz hoominz r weerd liek taht sumtiemz, but moess peepls callz him hal or harreh. hal dussn liek 2 be inna kort doin printz stuff, he liekz 2 go owt n has drinkz n nipz n lolz wif his frendz, hooz well kinda liek owtsyd kittehz if u noez wut i meenz. his bess owtsyd-kitteh frend is calld sur jon falstaff, n he n hal ist luvz 2 teez eech uvvr n pwn eech uvvr wif dumm hoomin triksez n stuff.
tehn hals dad henreh teh 4f maeks hal com 2 kort n sayz 2 him, wtf????? we haz emmeneez hoo wantsa pwn us n maeks us not king nnymoer, n sum ob tehm aktz moer liek a king shd ak tahn u do. u gotsa getz ur stuffz 2gethr n helpz me nao, k? n hal saiz omg sry, i aktz liek a printz frm nao on n pwns ur emmeneez 4 u n stuffz, promuss.
so henreh teh 4f n hal n tehr peepz has big fiet wif teh emmeneez n pwnz tehm rlly hard, wich is kinda sad cuz sum ob tehm youst 2 be teh frendz ob teh henrehz n nao tehy has a ded. n tehrz moer emmeneez so teh henrehz cud still get pwnd in part too. but atta end ob part wun tehy iz biktoryuss!!!!!!!!!! 4 nao. teh end!
so nao iz told u teh storehz frm 4 playzes by mr willm shaekspurrr! u cd mark teh scratchee poel 4 teh 1 u liekz bess, n has fun in teh kommentz.
kthxbai!