(Washington DC) Capital police reported having received a frantic 911 call from Senator James Mountain Inhofe (R-OK) complaining of the theft of an igloo his family had made last winter after a heavy snowstorm dubbed by the press as Snowmaggedonicyrapture.
In response to Al Gore's stiff, research-laden, Academy Award winning, doomed Earth snuff flick, Inhofe's family had wittily constructed an igloo on the National Mall during the storm as proof that global warming does not exist.
Also reported missing by Inhofe was a cardboard sign that had been placed on top of the igloo further reflecting the Inhofe family's trademark sense of cool global humor, "Al Gore's New Home" on one side and "Honk If You [Heart] Global Warming" on the other.
In spite of record-breaking summer temperatures already marking 2010 as the hottest year since record-keeping began, transcripts of Inhofe's emergency call reveal the senator demanded police search the former vice president's property for the missing Inhofe snow house.
The senator from Oklahoma was described by officers as belligerent and in denial after he was told it would be virtually impossible for the igloo to have survived the blistering summer heat. Inhofe insisted the hot temperatures "show that the liberal media's godless sciency thermometers are biased towards Al Gore's global warming conspiracy theories."
When asked later to explain what he meant by conspiracy theories, Inhofe claimed he had heard on Fox News that Al Gore had been pushing global warming so he could get rich speculating on waterfront time shares in Anchorage. Reports of the former vice president trading in Alaskan beachfront property were later confirmed by Andrew Breitbart and Matt Drudge.
While the kerfuffle over Inhofe's infernal igloo inferno has not cooled down, Sarah Palin defiantly reported on her facebook page about the "Godless Gore Takeover". Palin said that she has decided to use SarahPac funds to buy back the Alaskan beachfront property Al Gore is reported to now own in order "to build a networth [sic] of snow machine trails for future generators [sic] insuring [sic] that mama grizzlies' cubs will forever have their God-given right to snowiness."