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This blog originally posted at 8/17/10

Progressives are despondent, Democrats diluted and liberals dismayed.

All the while, Republicans get their mad on and the Tea Party spilleth over.

I’m well aware of the predictable dynamic that virtually dictates that the party in power, particularly when of the executive branch, will suffer losses in a mid-term election.  Okay, yeah, I get it.

But have you seen who they’re running?

Sharron Angle and Rand Paul are thoroughly pissing up ropes, profoundly out of touch, nonsense palavering, goofcocks who have actually long since bought what they’re selling.  Last I checked, they’re both still competitive.  Sheezus.  They are dangerous because they have long since bought what they seek to sell.  Such a distinction is important.  Salient.  It means they are dumb.  Or at least willfully ignorant.  You think Hannity and Limbaugh smoke what they peddle?  No way.  Limbaugh’s actual abuse of narcotics notwithstanding, these assholes know what they do.  Beck is likely a different story.  Therefore Beck is more dangerous; he has the courage of his bullshit convictions.

They each represent a definitively retarded phenomena.

My take on Angle here:

Nathan Deal, running for Governor of Georgia after resigning from congress, is a birther.  So duh.

Dan Maes, running for Governor of Colorado thinks that a efforts to promote bike riding is some conspiracy aimed at "converting Denver into a United Nations community."

Tom Emmer, running for Governor of Minnesota, wants to lower the minimum wage for waiters and servers because he thinks they all make six figures in tips.  Every single conservative blows hard about tax cuts, but can’t be bothered to help the vanishing middle class, even with tax cuts, who would supply the bulk of America’s tax revenue, if they had jobs.  As opposed to the richest ten percent who have enjoyed tax cuts for nearly a decade and kept every penny.  So I say yes you fucktard, reduce their minimum wage and they will pay even less in taxes.

Not one of them can think their way out of a wet paper bag.

Linda McMahon?  Sure, Jessie Ventura got elected, but this is Connecticut.  And fer fucks sake, I mean fer fucks sake!

Ken Buck, running for Senate from Colorado, appears to be a fairly obvious misogynist.  He has embraced the Tea Party and then walked it back with criticism of the prince of bigots Tom Tancredo and by referring to birthers as "dumbasses".  At the very least he’s confused and lacks the courage of any conviction.  I can’t really blame him for his confusion.  His party is a hot, dense mess.

Carly Fiorina’s (running against Barbara Boxer) campaign has vanity as it’s impetus.  She did call Boxer’s hair "so yesterday."  She’s endorsed by Sarah Palin and has actively pursued support from the Tea Party.

Forgive my instant assessment, but when you party with the Tea Party, it’s all I need to know.

Mark Rubio is a financial, tax cuts for the rich/ trickle down economics, douchebag.  He’s consistently unable to account for is own fiscal policy positions.  Unable to explain or even offer how they would be paid for when hard evidence demonstrates they’ll likely add over three trillion to the the deficit.  Much the same way Boehner kept stepping on his dick under fire from David Gregory on Meet The Press when asked the very same questions.  Russert would have taken him to task just the same but it would have enjoyed way longer legs.  A stain instead of a blip.

That man Boehner, is an idiot.

What the hell?

They look pretty sloppy and reckless from here.  It occurs to me that they ought to be careful of what they wish for.  These asshats so willingly clumsy on the campaign trail, would easily prove to be that and more in office.  Like Palin for example.  Remember, she quit as Governor of Alaska for one reason, to make money by capitalizing on the fame that losing an election for Vice President afforded her.  She hasn’t been and won’t ever be elected for anything else.  She’ll never even run.  She understands she doesn’t have the discipline and she is absolutely otherwise directed.  But I pray they run her.  I pray.  If she is so stupid and victim enough of hubris to seek the nomination, I will switch parties to vote for her.  Me and Master Bacon.  In the primary.  See?

I want the carnival of absurd that bad. The potential vulgar burlesque stirs my lobes and my lust for carnage.

Any number of these sycophantic empty headed opportunists get elected and the GOP may just suffer embarrassment for elections cycles yet to come.  Harbingers of doom perhaps.


It’s a stretch, but there is some logic in the notion that we may not have much to lose in the long run.  The tsunami the main stream media seems determined to prognosticate ad nauseum may yet spill over America and it will be an embarrassing disaster for the GOP.  These people are idiots.  They can’t lead, they can’t legislate, they specialize exclusively in their sole ability to demagogue.  Worst case scenario is we’re forced yet again to learn the hard way.  Another protracted learning curve while the hole deepens and deepens and deepens........while they step on their own pudenda, over and over.  Exploiting the zeitgeist that intellectual prowess is a commodity to be suspicious of the whole time.

Worse case scenario, we’ll finally have learned what what we should have already known just in time to understand there’s barely dick left.

So, it’s the big picture and the short term.  Feel me?

The media is salivating for a slaughter.  That just doesn’t have to be.  Pull up your goddamn pants fer fuck’s sake.  This ain’t easy but it’s not brain surgery either.  Try not to lose sight of the fact that as determined as these fucks are, they’re still really dumb.

You know, just because we’ve elected our first African American President during a Democratic majority in both houses of congress doesn’t necessarily mean we get everything we want.  What it’s turned into is humongous blockage of the pipes that deliver sewage to the treatment plant and a simultaneously egregious restriction of the flow of clean potable water for all of us, regardless of party affiliation or ideological subscription.

"You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need"

Drinks for my friends.

Originally posted to brainspank on Wed Aug 18, 2010 at 03:36 PM PDT.

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