Hello an welcome to today’s diary.
It haz recently come to mah attenshin dat dere are a number of diaries on dis site dat not so much as menshun pooties. Dey even make teh Rec List!
Ai not know why dat guy Meter Maids not ban dem—dey got nuthin’ to do wid teh price of kibble.
And teh fightin' an name-callin' in dem other diaries—SHEESH! Ai not heard such language frum hoomins since wut mah fambly refers to as "Teh Night of a Thousand Hairballs".
Yus hoomins are too tense. Yu haz got to learn frum yor aminal friends how to relax and reconnect wid Nature.
It not rocket science. Ai will show yus how.
See dis flower?
Next time yor dander'z up, jus do like dis...
Come up close an look at teh purty petals...
Now lean in an gently inhale teh delicate aroma.
Breath in teh perfoom as deeply as yu can.
Deeply deeply deeeeeply...
LET’EM HAVE IT!
SHOW DAT FLOWER WHU'S BOSS!
GIVE IT WUT FOR!
SHAKE IT TILL ITS TEETH CHATTER!!
STEP ON ITS NECK!!!
Not yus feel bedder now?