With apologies to Monty Python and Arthur Miller, here is a transcript of Christine O'Donnel's inevitable impeachment hearing in the Tea Party Caucus...
TEABAGGERS: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch!
TEABAGGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
TEABAGGERS: Burn her! Burn!
KARL ROVE: How do you know she is a witch?
TEABAGGER #2: She looks like one.
KARL ROVE: Bring her forward.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
KARL ROVE: But you talked about dabbling in withcraft.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: They said it would test my faith.
TEABAGGERS: No, we didn't... no.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: And this isn't my hair, it's Sarah Palin’s.
KARL ROVE: Well?
TEABAGGER #1: Well, we did do the hair.
KARL ROVE: The hair?
TEABAGGER #1: And the dress -- but she is a witch!
TEABAGGERS: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
KARL ROVE: Did you dress her up like this?
TEABAGGERS: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
TEABAGGER #1: She has got a wart.
KARL ROVE: What makes you think she is a witch?
GINGRICH: Well, she turned me into a Newt.
KARL ROVE: A Newt?
GINGRICH: What's it to you Turd Blossom?
TEABAGGER #2: Burn her anyway!
TEABAGGERS: Burn! Burn her!
KARL ROVE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling
whether she is a witch.
TEABAGGERS: Are there? What are they?
KARL ROVE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
TEABAGGER #2: Burn!
TEABAGGERS: Burn, burn them up!
KARL ROVE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
TEABAGGER #1: More witches!
TEABAGGER #2: Tea!
KARL ROVE: So, why do witches burn?
TEABAGGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of tea...?
KARL ROVE: Good!
TEABAGGERS: Oh yeah, yeah...
KARL ROVE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of tea?
TEABAGGER #1: Drink her.
KARL ROVE: Aah, but can you not also drink blood?
TEABAGGER #2: Oh, yeah.
KARL ROVE: Does tea sink in water?
TEABAGGER #1: No, no.
TEABAGGER #2: It floats! It floats!
TEABAGGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
TEABAGGERS: The pond!
KARL ROVE: What also floats in water?
TEABAGGER #1: Porn!
TEABAGGER #2: Homosexuals!
TEABAGGER #3: Obama!
TEABAGGER #1: Aborted Fetuses!
TEABAGGER #2: Semen!
TEABAGGER #1: Cherries!
TEABAGGER #2: Qurans!
TEABAGGER #3: Mosques -- mosques!
RUDY GIULLIANI: 9/11 – 9/11!
ROGER AILES: A vibrator.
KARL ROVE: Exactly! So, logically...,
TEABAGGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a vibrator, she's
made of tea.
KARL ROVE: And therefore--?
TEABAGGER #1: A witch!
TEABAGGERS: A witch!
KARL ROVE: We shall use my larger scales!
KARL ROVE: Right, remove the supports!
TEABAGGERS: A witch! A witch!
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: It's a fair cop.
TEABAGGERS: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]
KARL ROVE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ROGER AILES: I am Roger Ailes, King of the Faux News.
KARL ROVE: My liege!
ROGER AILES: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to New
York, and join us at Faux News?
KARL ROVE: My liege! I would be honored.
ROGER AILES: What is your name?
KARL ROVE: Karl Rove, my leige.
ROGER AILES: Then I dub you Sir Karl Rove, Knight of Faux News.