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With apologies to Monty Python and Arthur Miller, here is a transcript of Christine O'Donnel's inevitable impeachment hearing in the Tea Party Caucus...

TEABAGGERS:  A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  We've got a witch!  
A witch!
TEABAGGER #1:  We have found a witch, might we burn her?
TEABAGGERS:  Burn her!  Burn!
KARL ROVE:  How do you know she is a witch?
TEABAGGER #2:  She looks like one.
KARL ROVE:  Bring her forward.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL:  I'm not a witch.  I'm not a witch.

KARL ROVE:  But you talked about dabbling in withcraft.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL:  They said it would test my faith.
TEABAGGERS:  No, we didn't... no.
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL:  And this isn't my hair, it's Sarah Palin’s.
KARL ROVE:  Well?
TEABAGGER #1:  Well, we did do the hair.
KARL ROVE:  The hair?
TEABAGGER #1:  And the dress -- but she is a witch!
TEABAGGERS:  Burn her!  Witch!  Witch!  Burn her!
KARL ROVE:  Did you dress her up like this?
TEABAGGERS:  No, no... no ... yes.  Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
TEABAGGER #1:  She has got a wart.
KARL ROVE:  What makes you think she is a witch?
GINGRICH:  Well, she turned me into a Newt.
KARL ROVE:  A Newt?
GINGRICH:  What's it to you Turd Blossom?
TEABAGGER #2:  Burn her anyway!
TEABAGGERS:  Burn!  Burn her!
KARL ROVE:  Quiet, quiet.  Quiet!  There are ways of telling
whether she is a witch.
TEABAGGERS:  Are there?  What are they?
KARL ROVE:  Tell me, what do you do with witches?
TEABAGGER #2:  Burn!
TEABAGGERS:  Burn, burn them up!
KARL ROVE:  And what do you burn apart from witches?
TEABAGGER #1:  More witches!
TEABAGGER #2:  Tea!
KARL ROVE:  So, why do witches burn?
    [pause]
TEABAGGER #3:  B--... 'cause they're made of tea...?
KARL ROVE:  Good!
TEABAGGERS:  Oh yeah, yeah...
KARL ROVE:  So, how do we tell whether she is made of tea?
TEABAGGER #1:  Drink her.
KARL ROVE:  Aah, but can you not also drink blood?
TEABAGGER #2:  Oh, yeah.
KARL ROVE:  Does tea sink in water?
TEABAGGER #1:  No, no.
TEABAGGER #2:  It floats!  It floats!
TEABAGGER #1:  Throw her into the pond!
TEABAGGERS:  The pond!
KARL ROVE:  What also floats in water?
TEABAGGER #1:  Porn!
TEABAGGER #2:  Homosexuals!
TEABAGGER #3:  Obama!
TEABAGGER #1:  Aborted Fetuses!
TEABAGGER #2:  Semen!
TEABAGGER #1:  Cherries!
TEABAGGER #2:  Qurans!
TEABAGGER #3:  Mosques -- mosques!
RUDY GIULLIANI:  9/11 – 9/11!
ROGER AILES:  A vibrator.
TEABAGGERS:  Oooh.
KARL ROVE:  Exactly!  So, logically...,
TEABAGGER #1:  If... she.. weighs the same as a vibrator, she's
made of tea.
KARL ROVE:  And therefore--?
TEABAGGER #1:  A witch!
TEABAGGERS:  A witch!
KARL ROVE:  We shall use my larger scales!
    [yelling]
KARL ROVE:  Right, remove the supports!
    [whop]
    [creak]
TEABAGGERS:  A witch!  A witch!
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL:  It's a fair cop.
TEABAGGERS:  Burn her!  Burn!  [yelling]
KARL ROVE:  Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ROGER AILES:  I am Roger Ailes, King of the Faux News.
KARL ROVE:  My liege!
ROGER AILES:  Good Sir knight, will you come with me to New
York, and join us at Faux News?
KARL ROVE:  My liege!  I would be honored.
ROGER AILES:  What is your name?
KARL ROVE:  Karl Rove, my leige.
ROGER AILES:  Then I dub you Sir Karl Rove, Knight of Faux News.

Originally posted to kant on Tue Oct 05, 2010 at 02:29 PM PDT.

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