From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Collins: It's My Pity Party and I'll Cry If I Want To
"Look, mister, there's two kinds of dumb. The guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and the guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter. The second one you're kinda forced to deal with."
---George in Hoosiers
Susan Collins of Maine is one of my senators. On Sunday she got naked and started barking in my living room (figuratively, thank heavens) when she got this column published in The Washington Post. It's so full of bunk that her main objective seems to be revealing just how---H'yuck H'yuck H'yuck---stupid she thinks we common folk are. Collins starts by pouring herself a glass of fine whine:
It's a tough time to be a moderate in the U.S. Senate. Sitting down with those on the opposite side of a debate, negotiating in good faith, attempting to reach a solution---such actions are now vilified by the hard-liners on both sides of the aisle.
Yeah, let's look at those "hard-liners on both sides." On the right you've got climate-change deniers, Social Security privatizers, Big Oil lovers, immigrant haters, creationists, warmongers, gay bashers and big-government dismantlers who nevertheless take credit for all the great things big government has done for their constituents. On the left: those who want health care for all and Social Security kept intact, equality for everyone, more efficient use of diverse energy sources, tough Wall Street reform, fair pay, reproductive rights, sensible defense and immigration reform---real hard-line stuff. We Democrats are so extrEEEEEME!!! Then she skips la-de-da into the filibuster minefield:
[In 2005] Democrats had used the filibuster to prevent the confirmation of some of President George W. Bush's appellate court nominees. With the rallying cry that nominees deserved an "up or down vote," Republican Senate leaders threatened to change the rules to prevent filibusters from being used to block judicial confirmations. Democrats countered that the rights of the minority had always been protected in the Senate and warned that if the rules were changed, the Democrats would block action on everything. ... Our deal restored trust and helped preserve the unique culture of the Senate.
What a bubble you must live in, Senator, to think anything was restored or preserved, or that the Senate's "unique culture" is something to be proud of. That culture is why everyone and their grandmother believes your chamber is FUBAR.
And here's an inconvenient truth for ya: today, 41 Obama judicial nominees have been confirmed after an average wait time of 90 days, versus 78 GOP confirmations by this time in the Bush presidency with an average wait time of 22 days. Obama's judicial nominees are being blocked by your colleagues (maybe even by you), along with 420 pieces of legislation already passed by the House. More whine:
During the past two years, the minority party has been increasingly shut out of the discussion. Even in the Senate, which used to pride itself on being a bastion of free and open debate, procedural tactics are routinely used to prevent Republican amendments. That causes Republicans to overuse the filibuster, because our only option is to stop a bill to which we cannot offer amendments.
Senator, this picture begs to differ---your party is abusing the filibuster like never ever ever ever ever ever ever before. And perhaps you'd like to have a word with your colleague, Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina, who's using a procedural tactic to singlehandedly derail all business in the Senate. Ahhh...there's that "unique culture" hard at work again. Awesome!
Oh, and then there's your little rant about why you voted last month against cloture on the Defense Authorization Bill, which included a provision to turn control of the 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell' policy over to the Executive Branch. You say you voted against it because "...many of my colleagues disagreed [with the DADT provision], and...they should have the right to express their views and offer their amendments on this controversial issue---as well as many others in the defense bill." That was a vote to start debate, Senator---to open the room up for discussion---not to end it. By voting 'No," you ensured that no debate would happen at all and that no amendments---which Senator Reid said he'd allow debate on when the bill came to the floor---could possibly be introduced. Oh, and by voting 'No' your party also denied our military the funding it needs to do its job keeping America safe. So much for supporting the troops. Finally, this:
Voting out of office---or not electing in the first place---those who put partisanship over progress and conflict over compromise would create a very different legislative climate, one in which the objective is to solve the problem, not to win the debate. It may not be easy to feel passionate about civility and compromise, but it is easy to feel passionate about a vibrant, just and prosperous America. To achieve that, however, we need to get passionate about electing legislators who not only work hard but work together.
Sounds good on paper. But take a good look at the Republican candidates who want to join you in your noble, august, snuff-sniffing chamber: Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, Christine O'Donnell, Joe Miller, Marco Rubio, etc. You should be horrified at the prospect of those candidates emerging victorious on November 2. They'll bring a level of incivility and extremism to the Senate that'll make you want to barricade yourself in your ivory tower and never come out.
The fact remains, Senator Collins, that there are plenty of conservative Democrats in the U.S. Senate, but zero liberal Republicans. (Your party's crazies locked the barn door behind 'em when Lincoln Chafee got booted from office.) The fact remains that, on bill after bill, your party said "no" in lockstep to legislation on which they had previously said "yes." The fact remains that the extremists who think climate change is a hoax, Wall Street has our best interests at heart, and the president is a secret Sharia Sheriff are now ruling your gaggle. It was Jim DeMint (yeah, him again) who vowed to make health insurance reform "Obama's Waterloo." For god's sake, your team couldn't even agree that expanding healthcare for children---lower- and middle-class Children!---was a good thing. Not my party---yours. And you accuse us of being sleazy???
One thing I'll say about Senator Olympia Snowe, your senior colleague from our fair state: she wouldn't write something as full of self-pity and intellectual dishonesty as you have. And yet she, too, will get teabagged during the next primary by the modern-day extremist Republican movement. You're both in a real quandary, Senator. But it's not because Democrats are tinkering with your precious chamber's "unique culture" or saying mean things about you. It’s because the needle on your party's ideological purity meter has pegged so far to the right that it's shattered the dial.
Y'know, we have a little saying here in the Democratic party, Senator: "Buck up...and quit whining." You should take that to heart as you figure out how to reclaim the GOP from those who want to replace you in a few years with a hard-line teabagger. Good luck! Now, with all due respect: kindly stop barking, put your bloomers back on and get outta my living room.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Note: Sorry about making you use the stepladder this morning. The elevator is being reupholstered.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 21
Days `til the March to Keep Fear Alive: 18
Percent of U.S. personal income last year that came from, respectively, wages and government programs: 52%, 17%
Number of years since recordkeeping began in 1929 that these figures have been, respectively, so low and so high: 0
(Source: Harper's Index)
Number of potential 2012 GOP presidential candidates now on Fox News's payroll: 4 (Palin, Huckabee, Santorum, Gingrich)
Number of potential Democratic presidential candidates in any future election year now on Fox News's payroll: 0
Amount for which this 1943 bronze penny was recently sold: $1.7 million
Weight of the record-setting pumpkin grown by Chris Stevens of New Rochester, Wisconsin: 1,810.5 lbs
(Source: The prestigious World Records Academy)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Maybe, when the Rs get into power, they can do a pork barrel project to determine how an innocent babe can transform into an enviro-nit-wit. Then they can allocate funding to prevent enviro-nit-wits from developing. Kinda like the Ds spending money on penis washing, czars
---Commenter Waboyz at the Michelle Malkin blog
All together now: One...two...three... Classy!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day To the pug community: in twenty days we promise to issue our annual apology for our annual practice of putting you through this.
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CHEERS to highways and bridges and trains...oh my! I have one Golden Rule of breaking news: if Atrios is cautiously optimistic about something, like the new Obama infrastructure plan, then I'm over the friggin' moon:
A new report from economists at the Treasury and Mr. Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers concludes that this is the "optimal time" to invest in public infrastructure because of high unemployment and lower prices in the construction industry, which has been hit harder than any other sector by the puncturing of the bubble in housing and commercial real estate. ... While Mr. Obama in September proposed a long-term solution to create a national infrastructure bank, which would seek private and public partnerships to invest in projects selected on merit, he seeks $50 billion in federal aid up front and he would offset that spending by closing an array of tax breaks for the oil and gas industry.
One word of caution to the workers who will be replacing our sewer systems: make sure you're up-to-date on your alligator insurance.
JEERS to same party, different year. As she parsed the outrageous and conflicting anti-gay statements from truly-looney New York governor candidate Carl Paladino, Rachel Maddow last night said that most people were missing the larger point, which is that the culture wars are playing a significant but largely unreported role in these midterm elections. Paladino (Gays are "dysfunctional" and trying to "brainwash" your kids), Christine O'Donnell (My own sister is a lesbian and she's disordered like the rest of 'em) Sharron Angle (I wouldn't accept a penny from a company that has a non-discrimination policy), Tea Party leader Jim DeMint (Gays should not teach in schools), Montana Republicans (Homosexual acts should be a crime) are just some of the main characters trying to scare their way into office at the expense of a minority that has done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Says Maddow: "The Republican party is going back to the days of Jesse Helms." And this is what that kind of open hatred leads to:
[The 17-year-old] "was thrown into a wall, made to strip naked, hit in the head with a beer can, cut with a box cutter, and sodomized with the wooden handle of a plunger," NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly said. Police said the gang questioned the teen about his contact with a 30-year-old man, and then let him go with a warning not to call police. Two other brutal attacks would follow---first on another 17-year-old, and then the 30-year-old himself, who was allegedly lured to the scene.
Watch yer back, lefthanders. They could be comin' after your "devious lifestyle" next.
CHEERS to great performances. On October 12, 1960, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went ballistic at the United Nations, taking off his shoe and pounding it on his desk. Two words: bug...dead.
ACH DU LIEBER! to Wilhelm in Portland Maine's Political Lesson von der Day. Today's lesson: if you're running for Congress, and three weeks before Election Day your press consists of headlines like, "Ohio GOP candidate defends Nazi re-enactments", it's pretty safe to say you can stop measuring the drapes for your D.C. office. (But, if I may say, Mr. Iott, I love what you've done with your bunker!)
JEERS to bending over...backwards. A Southern Baptist Seminary leader says that yoga is---oh, say it with me---an abomination and yadda yadda yadda. He has (im)moral support from none other than Pat Robertson, who calls it really spooky. It's easy to see why: yoga could lead to an epidemic of enlightenment and then their pews would be bare.
CHEERS to finding an heir in your lens. Yay! Finally we've got some photographic proof that Kim Jong Ill's successor is possibly a real live human. His name is Kim Jong Un. Looks more like a Dick to me.
JEERS to kids without conscience. Twelve years ago today, 21 year-old student Matt Shepard died after being severely beaten outside of Laramie 5 days earlier by two aimless thugs with shit and hate for brains. Matt was politically aware and we have no doubt he would have been a busy blogger. Oh, and guess who was Grand Marshall this year of the New York City pride parade that Carl Paladino called "disgusting?" Click this link and scroll down just a tad and you'll see: Judy and Dennis Shepard. May a colony of bedbugs set up camp in the crack of your kiester, Carl. (And that's lettin' ya off easy.)
CHEERS to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. On this date in 1901, Theodore Roosevelt officially changed the name of the "Executive Mansion" to "The White House." Which makes sense since, regardless of who the chief occupant is, it's always up to it's eyeballs in whitewash.
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Five years ago in C&J: October 12, 2005
JEERS to what we ain't got. Germany is poised to have its first female chancellor, thanks to something unseen in American politics recently called---oh, what's the term again---power sharing. I wonder what that's like. It sounds wunderbar.
CHEERS to going squeakysqueakysqueaky through history. In Europe they're building a 7,000 km bike path along the route of the Iron Curtain. That would be very cool and educational. As long as I get to ride in the basket. [10/12/10 Update: Web site's up.]
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And just one more...
CHEERS to Encores...In...Spaaaaace!!! I'm gonna miss the ol' Space Shuttle program when it goes bye-bye. But the kind-hearted souls in the Obama administration (did he say that sarcastically?) have graciously given the green light for one extra flight:
Sally Ride, the first American woman in space who took part in a White-House ordered review of human spaceflight, said the extra flight represents "an important extension" for supporting the space station. ... Only two shuttle launches officially remain, with the next one coming up Nov. 1. The third, yet-to-be-formalized mission would take place next June.
And then...the private sector takes over and tries to deliver spacecraft that are better, cheaper and faster. Wait'll they get a load of mine: it's a Deere with half a dozen propane tanks lashed to it. All I'm missing is a volunteer pilot. Here, kitty kitty...
Have a nice Tuesday. Stay classy. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine is a shiny, sparkling thing."
---Peggy Noonan
10/10/10
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