I am really really sick today, vomiting, coughing, wheezing, and stuck, it is only October 14TH.
The prescriptions all reset in 10 more days. I am out of the cough medicine, and almost out of pain pills.
Did I Over take my meds. No for the last 2 weeks I have been more sick than not, and have had to take them as prescribed. My illness over took the ability to ration my medication.
Why is there no dignity for the dying in America?
I am very good with my meds, stretch them as far as possible. i can make the 90 pill pain prescription last for 45 days, I take half of what is prescribed. Am I still in pain? Hell yes, but the very worst of it, goes and I can mostly function.
I have to be careful managing pain is a tricky situation, if you break through too often, or don't manage it properly you will be in 100% of your pain. No matter how many pills you take. So I manage it, with some illegal stuff, (pot) and half the prescribed dose.
Then there is the coughing, a side effect of the disease, managed by taking half the prescribed amount of codeine laced cough syrup. The cough can cause me to have a heart attack, it is that violent. The Script says 1 teaspoon every six hours. So I did, and it was gone in 2 weeks. Tonight I coughed so heard I fainted.
I suffer form congestive heart failure as a by product of the ILD. I use diuretics, again I need 2 a day I take 1. And Eat a bunch of watermelon and cantaloupe to make up for the missing 1. My prescription says 2 a day, but only 30 are dispensed.
Am I asking too much to die with dignity, and with out pain?