Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca. 84BCE-54BCE), friend of Cicero, revolutionary ancient Roman poet, Snark-master and master of the "dirty-ditty" masquerading as love-poem, hit the nail on the head of the Tea Party folks while lounging around in relative comfort. Consider him a kind of Bill in Portland Maine of the ancient Roman world (though considerably more comfortable--please make a donation to keep Cheers and Jeers going strong on the Great Orange Satan) and a wonderful insight into the fact that there is, in fact, "nothing new under the sun".
Follow me over the proverbial fold for some great snark from my good friend from my teen-age, Latin-studying days, Gaius Valerius Catullus.....
We have some Teabagging, conservative idiots running for some serious elected positions in our country. That's not news to anyone here. Some would like to eliminate the minimum wage and overtime; others, to privatize Social Security; yet others who want to slash education budgets (Paul LePage in Maine comes to mind here) and destroy our social safety net altogether.
Old Catullus knew how to deal with his poor friends. Mercilessly, but with a great deal of snark. Here's one of my favorite poems of Catullus, in the translation by the late Peter Whigham, in which one can see the attitudes of our Tea Party friends clearly articulated:
Friend Furius,
' who has no slaves and no money'...
no bluebottle in the larder
no spider
no bright hearth-fire,
but a parent
& stepmother
whose strong teeth
make short work
of whatever you give them:
old boots &nails.
Count yourself lucky--
your father, his lean spouse, yourself,
in excellent health.
no indigestion.
No fears of fire, flood & theft,
the usual bogies
of prosperous householders.
(Who COULD want to poison you?)
Your three bodies
like polished bone
wonderfully dehydrated
by cold, heat & hunger,
what more could you want?
Sweat, phlegm, saliva
all nasal discharge
is foreign to you.
You're as clean as whistles.
Even your arses, dry
as fine, operative salt-cellars--
working
maybe ten times a year,
the product
like pebbles
or dry broad-beans
easily friable
between the fingers
& leaving no shit-smutch.
These blessings are not
to be sneezed at.
You should count yourself lucky.
You should also forgo
your importunate pleas
for "a small loan":
You've more than enough as it is
--if you knew it.
Now, while Catullus was probably being snarky, since this was written to a friend, our Tea Party and Republican folks mean this kind of thing in earnest.
I find it amusing that something written in another era is so topical, so funny, and indeed so sad several thousand years later.
They are, our Teabaggers, taking Catullus' snark seriously; measuring out the disdain like resinated Greek wine while courting the very people whom they're telling "you're lucky to be poor; it makes your taxes low!"
Nothing, indeed, is new under the sun.