From Alton, Illinois.......
Many of you know that I am working on relocating back to Sarasota, Florida. I have a number of reasons for wanting to go back, including better weather (a proper "white Christmas" is the white sandy beaches of Siesta Key, not that crystallized frozen water crap from the sky), a chance to work with marine animals again at Mote Marine Lab, and renew friendships I made when I lived there from 2004 to 2006.
But there is one more reason I want to go back. She is someone I had met in 2006 at a bookstore, and became Facebook friends with later. We had a great first date on my trip to Sarasota last month, where we talked nonstop for 4 hours, and which ended with
You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).
Doc's Cheers and Jeers begins below the fold, with news from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?" Up yours!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, pootie pics, lusty wenches, mattress references, whomps, moist, kvetching over meta diaries, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE: Why is it that Elvis impersonators are all Las Vegas (i.e., "has been") Elvis? I would think fifties Elvis would be a much better show.
Doc's Bad Joke of the Week
(in the gray box so you can skip it and not miss anything else)
MEDICAL ALERT
Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails," "highballs," and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of...yep, you guessed it.
"MOUNT & DO."
Midterm Madness!
Cheers, of a sort, to a Bush being a Bush. Deborah Gianoulis, a candidate for the Florida Senate, had been printing lapel stickers reading Deb! for her campaign. Who does that remind you of? Former Florida Governor John Ellis Bush, aka Jeb!, U.S. Trade Mark Registration No. 2,826,942. No, really. "Jeb's!" people contacted "Deb's" people, and in reply, the "Deb!" campaign said that the stickers were a one-time deal and that the other place "Deb!" was used was in a TV ad which was no longer being run. Still, demerits for Bush family pettiness. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, etc. (via Florida Politics)
Jeers to a governor candidate unfit for office. This was said of Florida gubernatorial candidate Rick Scott recently:
"We do not need that seat to be a seat where you're learning, to be a seat where it's for personal gain, to be a seat where the residents and the citizens of the state of the Florida will be negatively impacted because of the lack of vision."
Who said this? Jennifer Carroll, his running mate! Scott Maxwell's Orlando Sentinenl article states she isn't the only Republican voicing concerns in public. Thankfully a majority of Florida voters seem to be catching on, along with some otherwise conservative editorial boards. Now, about Marco Rubio..... (also via Florida Politics, saving my ass on C&J since 2004)
Jeers to cut-and-run. After his Senate debate on Friday with Democratic candidate Robin Carnahan, Betsey Bruce of St. Louis affilliate Fox2Now, captured, on film, Roy Blunt running from almost every reporter in the state. Rather intriguing behavior from someone who claimed to have won the debate, no? (via Fired Up! Missouri)
And now, a word from our sponsor:
Creepy:
Cheers to justice served. A man won $650,000 in an out-of-court settlement over injuries to his eye--from a lap dance at a strip club. Apparently the dancer's spike heel got caught in his eye socket. And I thought the main danger from lap dances was....well, you know. (via Dave Barry)
Jeers to body parts in your dinner. Or, more precisely, a dinner or dessert resembling body parts. The Riverfront Times (RFT) has the alarming collection here. Don't miss the uterus and ovaries rendered in gingerbread and candy, complete with legend. Bon appetit!
Cheers to a good football scare in St. Louis. Don't look now, but the Rams are 3-3, having beat the San Diego Chargers yesterday, and have matched their total wins in the last two seasons on week 6 of this season. If they keep this up this might wipe the bad taste in our mouths from the Cardinals' fade in this year's baseball season. (I'm still a Bucs fan, though; Jeers to them suffering the worst loss in all of the Week 6 games, so far.)
Cheers to undaunted courage. A St. Louis sex blogger, The Beautiful Kind, after hiding behind the pseudonym for years, has chosen to reveal her true identity to the public, as part of the launch of a new initiative, Sex Positive St. Louis. The Riverfront Times ran the full story (link is SFW, barely, in spite of the title) in this week's edition, and I've never seen RFT's disappear so fast in all the time I've lived here. Say what you will about who she is and what she does, revealing herself and owning her sexuality in the conservative midwest takes, um, balls. Really.
Finally, speaking of undaunted courage, Cheers to Fort Worth city councilman Joel Burns for this speech, given in council chambers. It's been cheered many times already, but it deserves one more:
As a teenager growing up in Houston, I was called gay (even though I wasn't) and endured much of what Joel Burns went through. It was horrific, and what I endured has affected me, good and bad, to this day. I will echo what he said, though: it does get better.
Inky says, "Hit that reco button! And turn up the volume on the scratches, please!"
I'm working in a place with no Internet access today, so I won't be in comments until lunchtime at the earliest (there's wi-fi at the Dairy Queen, of all places). Y'all play nice!
Floor's open!