These last many weeks we've seen the Christian right's desire for an epic end times battle melded with the endemic cluelessness of the Tea Party producing the entirely expected comic result: the national scandal of snivelgate is upon us.
Snivelgate is the inevitable result of an under-appreciated social phenomenon that has swept the nation since the election of President Barack Obama. Butthurt conservatism. Aggressive dullards, wounded to the core that America is not entirely composed of gun toting rednecks, are inflamed. Often posing as former marines and virtually brandishing firearms at anyone who disagrees with their outlandish conspiracy theories, these dolts go about making a public spectacle of themselves, unaware of how they appear to others.
Butthurt conservatism is a set of principles, and the self identified leader of the movement, Greg W. Howard, puts those principles into motion using the techniques of cybersniveling.
Those not familiar with Encyclopedia Dramatica, which is to Wikipedia as Comedy Central is to our corrupted mainstream news, might well be scratching their heads over the portmanteau 'butthurt'. The site itself defines the word as:
Butthurt is that special feeling in your ass after it's been kicked and/or fucked. It is a common ailment amongst losers on the internet. It is usually characterized by noisy whining and complaining after being pwnt or otherwise outdone in any minute and insignificant way.
Butthurt conservatism got its start when the American people realized what a crock a generation of free market fairy dust had brought us and kicked the Republicans out of power in 2006. We sharpened that feeling for them in 2008 by ramming home the message, electing our first black president. Their dumb ideas, even with the full throated support of our ridiculous mainstream media, are no longer deemed credible.
No one has taken this harder than Greg W. Howard. Each day he lumbers on to Twitter, mimicking his hero Glenn Beck, opining on things at which he has personally failed, such as financial matters, and inciting his dozen rabid followers who make up the wrecking crew.
Let's be really, really clear about what we're dealing with here ...
Cybersniveling is the practice of running around and starting altercations with Progressives, then sniveling to the powers that be when they take the bait. This is the same sort of thing that has been happening over at Digg, where a mob of conservatives abuse anyone attempting to promote Progressive writings. We got up in the middle of this behavior with Twitter and pretty soon they were alternately whining to the administration or threatening to sue them. I think about half of Twitter's TOS rules come from this one nuisance group ...
Having been cut off from using Twitter administrative bans for his game , Greg recently stirred his formidable intellect and concocted a conspiracy theory with me at the center: Twittergate. Being a dullard, he failed to check the branding and has managed to only muddle the waters around the real Twittergate. Being a conspiratorial kook, he selectively quotes me and attributes screen shots from people I don't know in order to build his case that I lead a global conspiracy against the right's right to make a fools of themselves on Twitter.
Gawker, displaying the only real journalism to be seen in this matter, actually called Greg, I, and they hunted up some of the puckish beandogs, a transnational group of dope smoking, self stimulating internet pranksters who delight in fart jokes, web cam nudity, and bedeviling Greg's credulous partisans. Twittergate: How Internet Jerks Pranked The Tea Party pretty much cuts to the chase; Greg and I have a personality clash, but he's a paranoid kook :-)
The Beandogs had the final say in the matter with this delightful five minute video revealing the truth of the origins of the #wreckingcrew and their connection to Greg W. Howard.
This is the first in a five part expose series on the clownish credulity of the Tea Party twitterati as they stumble from one pratfall to the next, like unfunny Disney movie villains, perpetually outsmarted by a wise cracking pack of beandogs. I'll be back tomorrow with the next installment.