Well, friends, it's that time again.
Every even-numbered year on my birthday, you know I'm coming around. And you know what I'm here for.
It's going to be a good day. I get to vote this morning at City Hall, head to the bookstore and see if the new Miles Vorkosigan novel's on the shelves yet. Probably Little Tokyo with GF and the neighbor girls tonight.
But that's just gravy. You know what I want for my birthday. And only you can give it. Yup. Lookin' for a Hamilton and a quarter. And this year, it's not an easy one.
The last few times we've had this discussion, Howard was the party chair. Even this cynical, purist-ass crowd was willing to pony up to the Committee for Howard. Who wouldn't be?
But Tim Kaine, nice guy though he may be, isn't my cup of tea. And the Committee's not where a birthday boy wants to party this year.
No, this year, I'm going to ask you for something harder. I'm going to ask for $10.25 for a candidate none of us really love. But I want you to think, for just a minute, about the man Charlie Melancon's running against.
David Vitter begins every congress by introducing a slew of bills he knows will never be passed. Criminalize flag burning. Gays will be single forever. The usual knee-jerk pandering to the rightest of the right wing.
He does this to remind the worst of the American Taliban, who make up much too large a portion of our state's electorate, that he will always carry water for him. In return, they support him, knowing that he'd lived his life in a way abhorrent to them. It's an odd tradeoff, but they seem comfortable with the arrangement.
He's also constantly trying to out-No the Hell No crowd, no matter how it hurts his constituents. This year, at the dawn of hurricane season, he held up President Obama's supremely qualified nominee for FEMA chief, to grandstand for a couple of people in Grand Isle, those who would be the first washed away in a serious storm.
He fought to limit BP's liability in the Deepwater Horizon spill. He opposed the stimulus bill while begging for giant checks to pose with. I hope I don't have to tell readers of this site about his "Melancon Welcomes Scary Illegal Brown People Ad."
I won't bother rehashing the tawdry details of his personal, "serious" sins for this crowd.
In short, though not as famously reptilian as a McConnell or legendarily orange as a Boehner, David Vitter easily ties any Republican in Congress today as the epitome of obstructionism, hypocrisy and general unloveliness.
But he's not invincible. Despite a ginormous war chest and the deep pockets of his invisible corporate backers, Vitter is vulnerable. Polls are tightening, some alarmingly so for old Oh Davey.
Whatever my fellow Kossites may say about Melancon's voting record--and, lord knows, I've said my share--a blue dog beats a red, filibustering, philandering, hypocritical old GOP rubber stamping snake. Period.
So, I'm asking you straight. You want another D Caucus dude? You want another blue vote, however canine? You want to get rid of one of the 'Pubbiest 'Pubs in the upper chamber?
You want me to have a happy birthday or don't you?
Down here, we've got an odd tradition. A bride on her wedding day, or anybody on their birthday, gets a couple of bills safety-pinned on their clothes. Throughout the day, people see the money and say, "Hey, I didn't know it was your birthday!" and pin a couple more on.
Here's the safety pin. Click on the link and drop in $10.25. I've already done so.
Because nothing would be sweeter than a Senate without Veeter.
Happy day, all. Vote if you can.