The other day, Bill Maher released another clip of Christine O'Donnell. In it, she was decrying Halloween as the usual "satanic anti-Christian" bugaboo that right-wingers usually spew at this time of year.
But I'm here to talk about a more insidious purpose that Halloween has. One that's so hidden that only a mind with the keen penetrating intellect of Glenn Beck and the hard hitting journalistic integrity of World Net Daily could ferret out.
Halloween is, in fact, NOT an innocent holiday where children dress in fanciful costumes.
It is, in fact, a method of SOCIALIST INDOCTRINATION, designed to teach our children of the "benefits" of Socialism.
That's right, SOCIALISM. With SOCIALISTS.
And here you thought Halloween was just innocent fun. You thought WRONG. It's nothing more than a method to indoctrinate our children into accepting REDISTRIBUTION of wealth as a good and "natural" thing.
Think about it, friends. You work hard and earn money. With that hard earned money, you buy candy for YOURSELF, that you have EARNED. And then what happens?
Somebody ELSE shows up and DEMANDS "their share", and you are EXPECTED to REDISTRIBUTE your hard-earned candy.
Pure SOCIALISM, friends. Plain and simple.
And what happens if you refuse?
The thugs "collecting" your hard-earned candy VANDALIZE your possessions with eggs and toilet paper.
And the "National Liberal Media" does its part by ENCOURAGING this SOCIALIST behavior constantly with their "cartoons" and "commercials".
But the WORST part, my friends, is that this is also a plot by the United Nations to establish a One World SOCIALIST Government in America. We are REQUIRED to redistribute our ACTUAL MONEY to the UN to give to lazy poor Brown and Black people.
We are training our children to ask for entitlements with their hands held out instead of earning it the old fashioned way--inheriting it.
So how do we take Halloween back and make it into a Real American holiday?
When they come asking for their redistribution, tell them they'll have to earn their candy and put them to work. Teach them the values of hard work and good business.
And of course, when they complain you're not giving them enough candy, send your candy to China, where two pieces of regular candy can sustain a billion people.
So let's take back Halloween for the Capitalist Real Americans and let those SOCIALIST Liberals with their "redistribution" schemes die on the pumpkin vine.