I am not clear on the legalities for these types of proposals. Following this advice could land you in a good bit of trouble. In fact, advocating for this type of action could land me in a good bit of trouble so I will merely put this forward as a polite suggestion. caveat emptor. I will not be held responsible for any actions taken by others that may have been inspired by my writing.
My proposal is a simple one and it is best demonstrated, as all things are, by heavy metal bands:
To my knowledge, there is nothing illegal about maintaining any manner of fresh, American-grown produce on your person. Furthermore, there should be no reason for the TSA to confiscate said material so you will probably get it back. However, I kind of hope that they do so that one day somebody can look back at this period of American paranoia and get a real feel for it by examining the artifacts that American travelers decided to stash in their trousers. It is possible that Americans will find a new outlet for their creativity by coming up with new, harmless and quixotic items to cram into their pants. But, of course, the old standbys are always the best.
So this is your chance, America! Go now to your nearest sex shop and purchase the largest, knobbiest dildo you can find and stuff that baby in your pants. Then proceed proudly through that full body scanner knowing that you are doing your part to keep America's junk number one in the world!
Seriously though, it is probably not a good idea to do this. So don't. Or, if you do, don't blame me for the consequences.
EDIT: As a side note, what would be a good term for the act that I find myself doing where, before going through the full body scanner, I try to maintain a respectable level of arousal such that I can offset the fact that I am standing on a cold concrete floor but not so much that I am obviously sporting wood. Any ideas?