In a time when Americans can't agree on much, solid majorities of Democrats, Republicans, conservatives, progressives—even weekly churchgoers—want to scrap the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy that bars lesbian, gay and bisexual people from serving openly in the military. A May 2010 poll showed that a whopping 78 percent of Americans agree that the policy is unfair and should be dropped. And President Obama has said he agrees with them, though, after a federal judge struck down the law, his Justice Department convinced the Ninth Circuit to keep DADT in place while they defend it on appeal.
But as the Senate's continued failure to act calls into doubt the prospects for eliminating DADT this year, even proponents of repeal assume that the policy only interferes with the ability of gay servicemembers to serve openly, leaving them to conduct their private lives in, well, private. Many wrongly think that DADT means "don't go to work and talk about your sex life," according to Aaron Tax, legal director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN). But the true scope of the law's prohibition is far broader. "Don't tell" means that lesbian, gay and bisexual servicemembers can't tell anyone about their sexual orientation, in any context, without risking discharge. Life insurance beneficiary forms listing a same-sex partner, personal photographs, a marriage license—even testifying in court against an abusive ex-spouse—could all be the basis for discharge under the law.