Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher’s shop, we welcome likely decision of Sarah Palin to run for President. Everything point to her as best person for next US Commander in Chief.
In previous Diary, I celebrate great innovation in US politics: government of the idiot, by the idiot, for the idiot. It is impossible to imagine better post-democratic governance for US in current global context. 21st century herald decline of West and rise of East, especially China. Every year in China there about as many students at university as people living in New York State. Beijing invest massively in new public infrastructure during global downturn without make dent in market confidence. Many countries give up try compete with Chinese while pretending they still glorious. Take UK. Its government slash university spend so bad Brits will soon be too ignorant to find China on map (and pretend it not there). In fact they slash all public spending at time of weak economic demand. This will set British economy back about 150 years, allowing Limeys pretend it 19th Century, when Britain dominate world and defeat China in Opium War.
But as usual, America show best way make management of decline feel like triumph. Election of Tea Party dominated Republicans to Congress is first step of taking back country from strange spasms of Obama years. Obama lead mad response to downturn. He reverse years of erosion of public realm, invest in infrastructure and even try create more inclusive health system, all as attempt to boost aggregate demand at time of sluggish US economic performance. But Tea Party say America not want this stuff. As all Americans understand, Federal activism, even when it seem right thing to do, is just disguised Communism. When poor person receive welfare and prevent their family starving or working class student get decent college education, Karl Marx is haunting America. Anyway everyone know Obama vision is complete unsustainability. Only way provide affordable comprehensive service for poor people is impose big taxes on bankers or Dick Cheney or other rich beneficiaries of glorious years of deregulated finance – and that be very wrong. If America to recover at all it need another crazy consumer spending spree. Banks must be onboard for that and need deposits of rich and poor alike. There will be no progressive taxes or even serious regulation of global finance.
So Tea Party dominated Congress will start reverse efforts of Obama years. But to achieve all goals it must take Senate and White House in 2012. And no one understand better what need be done than Sarah Palin: sexy, brilliant hybrid of Nana Mouscouri and Dan Quayle. She realise China will dominate this century. She know America start to fade. So when she President she will accelerate dismantling of healthcare, infrastructural investment and education system, so Americans feel all the sickness, disintegration and ignorance that go with relative economic decline. She and her followers already show example. As leader of movement that believe poverty and even diphtheria can be cured by faith, "Evolution" is what Europeans call a Ferris Wheel, that believing Mozart was better musician than Shirley Jones is cultural equivalent of burning US flag and punishable by waterboard, that James Stewart in "It’s a Wonderful Life" show it possible to live happily always in one town so there no need for subsidised national transport system, and that crime would be eliminate by teaching all five year olds how to respect their firearms, she embody future of America.
But she also know how make defeat look like victory. She know that as America start to sink, there will still be chance for Republicans and their allies to board life rafts. This will happen at international and domestic level.
Next few years will see further decline of international bodies and increase of protectionism. (Ignore multi-lateral moves towards US and European Defense shield. This just sign Obama wake up to political realities and follow example of great predecessors Reagan and Bush junior. Like them he will start development of missile system so impractical and so ruinously expensive it will justify cuts in service spending. Then it like previous systems it will be scrapped – only to be replaced by President Palin’s new system. Her "Star-of-Wonder Wars" Programme will use lasers based in space, guided towards hostile missiles by power of prayer.) In general, nations will retreat from each other in attitude of mutual suspicion. But there will still be appetite among Republicans to show they not second rate power by embarking on overseas adventures. And post-war reconstruction contracts for US corporations help ensure relative American decline not hurt supportive Republican donors too bad.
Who better than Palin for this situation? She already show her command of foreign policy and geography by suggest biggest threat during her time as Alaskan Governor was from our very own Kremlin, which she could see from bedroom window. So she will rattle sabre about emerging powers and threats to US dominance from "people who don’t respect our way of life", and prepare action. But then she will surprise Generals when she point at map. They will be stunned. Is it mistake? Or genius? They will say genius as they realise even forces depleted and battered by experience of Iraq and Afghanistan will annihilate Canada. Palin will lead from front. After swift initial "Mission Accomplished" victory allow Halliburton to pierce Polar Ice Cap in search for oil, Canadian resistance pockets will be picked off as President, armed with trusty hunting rifle, lead elite teams to track, snare and shoot insurgent Mounties cunningly disguised as moose.
And in US itself, as Federal Government dismantled, States and Cities will do same and all public spending end. So what left? Well, virtuous Americans, those armies of Tea Party volunteers, will get by on their hard work, innate sense of justice, their preference for solving disputes with good right hand to chin rather than logic, their faith in God, their prospecting spirit, and their enormous stash of weaponry. That sound like return to values and realities of America’s greatest age: Wild West! So following example of great film "Westworld" Republican corporations will run most of US as giant Western theme park, "American Dream". Armed militia of Xe Services will protect oversees tourists from live ammunition used by happy communities solving differences in traditional town square noonday shoot outs. And there will of course be concessions to other aspects of America’s intellectual history. East Coast university life will be shown with continuous loop of "The Paper Chase" on giant screens in Boston. Visitors to Kennedy Space Centre will be able to touch piece of America’s great scientific history by meeting people who actually did catering on set of "Apollo 13". And gigantic scale model of late Anna Nicole Smith will symbolise many pioneering uses US scientists found for silica.
Sarah Palin’s great work will be complete when corporations inevitably sell majority stakes in "American Dream" to China. She and those Republican donors on corporation boards will then retire to Caribbean tax havens, happy in knowledge they take with them a little bit of what remains of the best of America, in their hearts and in their wallets.