Please help me out,
please go to exmearden's home page,
please look it up yourself,
please?
I need to get to bed,
but I wanted to write this diary first.
exmearden wrote a diary called,
"Roy Rogers rides tonight: cancer and me."
(Did you look it up yet?)
Read it.
I often think about that diary.
I often cry
when I think about that diary.
And, if you can find it,
read the diary about her surgery,
in Houston.
I think it was by KellyRN2.
occam's hatchet wrote a fairy tale style
description
of the surgery
in the comment thread,
and I campared it to the poem,
"Jabberwocky."
It turns out,
exmearden had always loved Jabberwocky;
she read it to her children,
she read it to her grandchild,
too young to understand the words,
as if any of us understand the words
of that poem:
"Twas brillig..."
My favorite quote from exme was:
"...grab the beast by the throat,
and hang on as long as you can."
That article, about conscious suffering,
(did you click on the link and read it?)
I am demonstrating,
I often demonstrate,
what that diary advises,
in my poetry.
Read that diary,
and read my poetry,
and tell me,
am I doing it,
what that diary says
to do,
each time I write,
pouring my everything out to you?
And exme did, too.
I feel that I am very similar
to exme.
She was bold and open about her life,
so am I.
She was bold and open about her abortion,
years ago.
She was bold and open about her grief,
over her father,
and her sister.
But most of all,
she was bold and open
about her cancer,
and her impending death.
I am bold and open about my grief,
over my father,
and my wife,
Pam.
I am bold and open about my lovers,
all three of them.
I am bold and open
about my emotional pain,
and my joys,
such as blogging with you here,
writing poetry,
and,
last diary, for example,
a woman who was ready to
"not like"
in other words,
ready to tell me off,
she ended up
crying.
Crying!
So,
exmearden is gone,
and we miss her writing already,
we miss her style.
In tribute to her,
to give something to all of you,
in memory of her,
I can do this:
keep on writing,
putting out,
on the screen,
everything,
open and bold,
like exme,
as long as I live.
She inspired me.
Thank you for reading.