Today, I watched a few of my family's belongings get packed into boxes, placed in a large crate, then saw the crate get banded and signed for, all so that we can have a few things when we arrive and settle into our new apartment in Buenos Aires, Argentina. These few belongings, commonly called Hold Baggage, should arrive before we do and help make our first nights in our new digs a little easier. We sent a big stuffed dog, affectionately named Obama Dog because he was rescued from a dumpster during the '08 campaign, a few toys, a couple of games, kitchen gear so that I can cook, sheets, towels, and few summer items because it will probably be hot on the far side of the equator.
Our last weeks are full of dentist and doctor's appointments, selling cars, cleaning out closets, and giving away things we no longer need. They're also full of friends and family with last minute requests to go out to dinner, to stay an extra day to make a birthday, or with laments that we just didn't get the chance to do X, Y, or Z. There is never enough time to do everything. Trust me. Everytime we move, whether we've lived there for a year or for three, there are always things left to do.
Monterey will be a hard place to leave. We're physically close to both my husband's family and my own. That's a rare event for most military folks. It has been nice to see both sets of grandparents, especially when we know we won't be returning for at least 15 months. And I've loved living near my middle sister and getting to know my niece and nephew better. It will also make it harder to leave.
My oldest son attended school here for the very first time (we've always homeschooled) and his friends at Monterey High will always hold a special place in his heart. Once in Argentina, he will be very thankful for his Facebook page! Most important to him has been the Youth Art Collective. It has been his second home and the women who run the place like second moms... or maybe the older sisters he doesn't have. They look out for him without clinging. They've shown him an alternative paths and opened his eyes to many new things, not just art. He will miss them, and all the kids at the collective, very much. They're making him an honorary member from afar and helping him set up his own artist's blog.
My youngest son, a budding marine biologist, is still rapidly cataloging new creatures with every lowtide. We have a few more left between now and January and we'll make sure not to miss a single one, rain or shine! We're still hoping to see a sun star, a Spanish shawl, and a Loki's Chiton, to name a few. We've discovered an unexpected place to tide pool (under the Fisherman's Wharf at the Pier but don't tell too many people and wear your mud boots). Though homeschooled, he's made a couple of good friends and will miss his weekly art class (gossip session) in Pacific Grove.
My husband leaves with a newfound fount of Spanish in his head, if not on his tongue! I've told him the language will flow better once we're in country. He speaks best when holding conversations with his instructors rather than his mistake prone family.
We plan on immersion classes for the boys and myself. Rosetta Stone is great, but it isn't enough. We'll need to catch on to the local lingo pretty quickly. We've been warned about the Argentine 'vos' and the special way to pronounce the 'll,' more like a soft j than a y. The quicker we pick up the language, the easier basic life will be.
We will have no American military base for back up - no commissary, no Base Exchange, no military clinic much less hospital. Don't get me wrong... we're all looking forward to living without those things but it will mean adjusting in new ways. My youngest realized that he may not get peanut butter for the next year or so. We eat primarily fresh fruits, vegetables, and meats, which they will have in abundance in Buenos Aires but think of all the things you use everyday that we'll have to find new brands for - toothpaste and deodorant, shampoo and soap, cleaning supplies and toilet paper! And that's not even food. We're eco-conscious as well, so the challenge will be a little greater as we look for items that have minimal impact on the earth. Can we find Dr. Bronner's? Will we be able to drink raw milk? Is all beef raised sustainably and humanely? What will I do without my Monterey Bay Aquarium Fish Guide?
I've always been the family 'hunter/gatherer.' It's my job to figure out the lay of the land while my husband figures out the lay of his job. I'll have more of his help in Argentina because his school won't start until March. His job is to learn more of the language and get us settled. It will make for a nice change and give me a chance to figure things out with some help.
Each move presents its own challenges and character. I don't know if all military wives feel this way, but each time we move, I find a different niche and each one calls for a different angelajean.
In Alaska, I was all outdoors, fishing and camping to my heart's content. We became near vegetarians because the meat at the commissary was notoriously bad and I changed my views on hunting. Caribou is awfully tasty when the beef travels from thousands of miles away.
In Germany, my husband and I became world travellers, camping out in our Westfalia Vanagon and discovering Roman ruins in Southern France and torrential rain storms while camping in the Czech Republic.
In Utah, I concentrated on being a young mother with two young children and learned to manage while my husband spent almost as much time away as at home, or at least, it felt that way. I yearned to cross country ski and to explore Southern Utah but focused on play groups and my own vegetable garden instead.
Our second tour in Germany I became German - or as close to it as I could. We leased a small garden in the town near the local Army Post where we lived and I joined a German Quilt Guild. My kids attended a German Kindergarten and the language was flowing from my tongue by the time we left. We felt more European than American when we arrived back in the States.
In Nevada I tried to become the traditional military wife and failed miserably. I made a much better homeschool mom and artist. I developed my talent in marbling.
That set me up for our year in Alabama. I became a student's wife while my husband went to Air Command and Staff College and sold my art. We lived on base but in a unique setting where, though the houses were tiny, the outdoor spaces were large. The front yard belonged to eight different families and we potlucked almost every Friday night. Talk about community. I loved it and learned that my final home should have some shared space with neighbors.
That short assignment brought us home to California. This time, I played the military wife a little better and was able to help out deployed families with a better understanding of what it takes to be a mom of little kids and how to survive while your husband is deployed. I also found that I liked local government and served on the council of our local Charter School. I became a woman who could serve outside of her family while still giving them what they needed to thrive.
Then came Texas. Texas taught me about politics. As a graduate from UC Berkeley, you would think I would already know. But we Californians live a sheltered life, even those of us that have travelled. In Texas, I campaigned for Obama and joined MoveOn.org. I attended Tea Party rallies in Obama gear to purposefully spark conversation and hope for media attention. I became a leader but needless to say it meant that I separated myself from the military community. Try being politically active and then attend an Officer Spouse's Lunch and find a safe topic of conversation. I found that I could no longer talk about kids without talking about our poor education system; I couldn't talk about food without asking if someone had seen Food.inc; I couldn't talk about deployment without mentioning how poor the military family support system is. I could mention Greg Mortenson pretty safely. But otherwise, I felt like I was always on shaky ground. Heaven forbid if I mention DADT (though sometimes I did). At book club, a story about a poorly managed nursing home turned into a discussion on health care reform. And it was all my fault. I managed to play mahjong once a week with a great group of military wives... they forgave my occasional indiscretion.
Here in Monterey, I've been me. We've only been here 9 months. I've dabbled in watercolor paints. I've written DailyKos diaries. I've homeschooled my youngest child. I've eaten far too many pastries at the Paris Bakery and have become a latte drinker exraordinaire. I've managed one political event and then decided to volunteer via the web for my candidate in Alaska. While here, we abandoned the military base. We love living in the middle of town, close to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, where we are members. I've been to the commissary about half a dozen times and the BX only twice. I don't miss it. I visit two farmer's markets every week and walk on the beach every time I can manage.
I look forward to finding some of the other parts of me again, the one who quilts and marbles fabric. the one who does daily yoga, the one who speaks German. I might find part of her in Buenos Aires. But, who knows. I just might find someone new instead! Someone who speaks Spanish, who can cook a mean steak, and who volunteers with a local community organization that could best use her help.