So many great flame wars, so little time. I bet there are many Kossacks out there who would like to know how to start a falme fest of their own without having to prove a damn thing or take any time to do painstaking research.
Well, here's your chance. If you just follow a few very simple principles, you will be able to watch your fellow Kossacks blowtorch each other (and hopefully President Obama) to your heart's content.
First of all, it is important that your diary have an inflammatory title.
To best accomplish this, I recommend starting with the President's last name. The next tactic is to make an outlandish accusation. If possible, do it one short sentence. Most importantly, make your accusation an extreme insult to a person or group of persons whom strongly supported the President in 2008. Here are some suggestions:
"Obama tells Teamsters Union to suck his gearshift"
"Obama spits in Michael Moore's eye"
"Obama kicks Lt. Choi in the gonads"
"Obama wants Wind Energy Group to blow it out their asses"
Notice that all of these titles include a false premise. This is important. To make people really mad, you have to fabricate your own erroneous conclusion. Just imagine the creative possibilities. Whatever you do, don't trouble yourself with the fact that you're reducing the credibility of this site to that of the Drudge Report. You want the attention that only an inferno can generate. Screw the facts. You just want the flames.
Next, include a link to a major news source to give your diary the appearance of credibility. Take this for example:
http://articles.cnn.com/...
The major news source is important. What you want is for your readers to believe you enough to not click on the article and actually read it for themselves. If that happened, your readers would find out that your premise is bullshit and call you out on it. You don't want that, do you? Then stick to these simple principles and you will have a bonfire to be proud of that is not built on a single stick of evidence.
So there you have it. Let's do a quick review:
- Use the President's last name first.
- Inflammatory accusation
- Target a key support group
- False premise
- Link which appears credible.
Got it? Good. Now go to your keyboard, and don't forget the kerosene!
Happy Hellmaking!
Update: How could I have been so foolish as not to include a video in this dairy? Most of my diaries have them, so here it is.
This is a particularly good one from the Doors tour of Europe in 1968.
Morrison looks especially stoned in this one.
I hope it inspires you to flame to new heights! Enjoy!