I know. You think you've heard them all.
Barack Obama's Red Chinese handlers in his native Kenya slipped a phony birth announcement into the Honolulu Herald. Getting a Cash for Clunkers rebate entered you into a database for future internees in FEMA concentration camps. ACORN and its army of fictitious Mickey Mice tipped the scales for Democrats in 2008.
Still, for pure whoppability, the CT Indiana governor Mitch Daniels has been peddling for the past week may set a record. A double-cheese Bildaberger with extra fries.
You see, Gov. Daniels has two Toyota assembly plants in his state, which is suffering horribly in the current economic climate, largely due to his own idiotic but ideologically "correct" decisions. Those two plants are slowing production as demand for new Toyotas plummets in the torrent of bad safety reports and recalls, endangering more than 5,000 jobs in the Hoosier State.
So, who's fault is it that the brand is suffering? Is it Toyota's fault for building flawed vehicles, then downplaying reports of problems? Is it the fault of consumers, who, in tight times, have decided not to take a chance on a brand whose reputation for quality is being beaten by numerous system failures?
Of course not! It's Barack Obama's fault!
For over a week, Daniels has been bravely throwing himself in front of loaded television cameras like a Protection Detail agent leaping to the cry of "Gun!" telling local, state and national reporters that the spate of bad news for Toyota must be a result of the government's bailout and buyout of General Motors.
Speaking to Indianapolis' Fox affiliate, Daniels lays the groundwork for his CT:
"Let's have the recall, fines if necessary, but they're ganging up, it seems highly suspicious given the government went into the car business and here they are beating up one of their direct competitors."
At WTHR across town, he was even more direct.
"Let's recall. Let's fix it - the cars," Daniels said. "If a fine is in order, then fine, but they have gone so far beyond that. It's very very suspicious in view of the government conflict of interest."
. . .
"This is why you don't want government in the car business, for instance. There you have a company doing more than others have done with regard to a recall. There were 600 recalls last year alone and they didn't go so hysterical as this," Daniels said. "These congressmen running this committee have their own agenda and it is a discriminating agenda in this case. They didn't do this the last several hundred recalls."
And, in case local outrage wasn't enough, Mitch hit the Katie Couric show on Wednesday to bang his CT drum that Toyota's design, manufacturing and PR decisions that have led to their current 16% sales drop are really the dirty doings of America's latest automotive CEO, um, America.
Like a lot of you, I'm something of a conspiracy aficionado. I have walked Dealey Plaza checking sight lines, roamed the tunnels and back alleys of Disney World seeking Walt's head's cryogenic chamber and listened to a former FBI agent describe exactly how and why Richard Nixon had Elvis Presley killed (he made it sound awfully plausible, actually). I've heard a lot of nutty ideas to explain tragic happenings.
But Daniels' latest entry--that bad engineering resulting in dangerous products, coupled with a revealed strategy of covering up the problems, is actually the fault of the US government's bailing out a competing company--shows promise in topping the list.