This recipe came to me while thumbing through the MojoRaveFestWhoringBachannalia Part 4. The diarist asked for commenters to earn ratings by posting recipes, the standard method for combatting troll infestation. I don't know if it was the recent appointment of the new White House chef that did it to me but somehow inspiration struck.
DUNCE'S DELIGHT
1 influential Grandfather
1 ineffectual public servant/war hero/President Father
1 Battle Axe Mom
1 Yale degree. Stifle chuckles.
1 Harvard Business School degree. Vent guffaws.
40 years of binge drinking. Chill suddenly.
1 Oil company. Drain until empty.
1 Baseball Team. Find way to look important while loafing.
1 Governor's Election. Besmirch opponent thoroughly.
1 Stolen Federal Election. Secure loyalty oaths via threats, intimidations. (Wait 4 years. Repeat.)
1 Unnecessary War. Lie your balls off. Repeat.
Mix and try for crimes against humanity. Slice and serve. Throw away unconsumed portions immediately as they will emit an odiferous cloud if left unsealed.
Gargle with Listerine for approx. 27 days. Repeat.
It's just about there, but it needs something. Got any ideas?
Update [2005-8-26 19:24:8 by mrblifil]: Here's a nice complementary dish, suitable for a lite snack or formal evening fare. Sorry for promoting my own comment:
SPOTTED DICK
1 Sack of Stones. Huge.
1 Child Virgin. Swallow whole.
5 draft deferments. Add other priorities.
1 Cardiologist. Be sure to keep close throughout.
1 Angioplasty Stent. Replace frequently.
1 Nuclear Weapons Access Codebook. Store in undisclosed location.
1 Gay Daughter. Keep well hidden.
Lifetime Supply of "Poppers." For when fucking the world begins to lose it's lustre.
Seal in sarcophagus. Attach to missile. Launch toward sun. When sun is fully extinguished, freeze world immediately. Kiss ass goodbye.