It seems like 3 or 4 times a year I am driven to write a diary about mutual respect and not attacking each other for stupid stuff. Because even after all the talk of tolerating differing ideas better than those nasty Rightwing blogs, we still get people who think that anything outside of the lefty norms to be offensive and worthy of troll-rating, no matter how respectfully they're presented. I've collected some info in my experiences with such individuals and why people bite off any heads that pop up from the herd and I'm submitting, for community approval, the Unofficial abridged guide of proper DailyKos Etiquette, rev. 1.
(clearing throat)
1)
Go for the Gold: You know that saying "treat others as you would like to be treated"? Well it's not just a catch phrase, it's a way of life. Treat people and their comments with the same respect YOU would like to be treated with. If that is just absolutely impossible for you, then at least treat them with no less respect they have shown. As Kossacks, we are only as good as how we treat each other.
2) Check your baggage at the door: The most common cause of flare-ups, flame wars, and troll spamming is a fundamental misunderstanding of what a diarist/commenter is saying. The most common cause of these misunderstandings is the baggage we bring with us when we read diaries/comments. It could be anything, a persecution complex, paranoia, insecurities, low self esteem, what have you. Sometimes people will fixate on a single word or sentence and throw the entire meaning of a piece into a completely different direction than the writer intended. Take some time for honest, self-reflection and identify your baggage (yes we all have some baggage) and how it might alter your perception of what you're reading. Identify your hotspots and when you encounter a diary that triggers them, take a few deep breaths and try and re-read it as completely and impartially as possible. It's not perfect but I find a lot of people who indulge in improper behavior are just reacting to a facet of the discussion that doesn't even exist.
3) Assume makes an ass out of YOU...just you: Prejudice in its literal definition means to pre-judge. With a few exceptions of whatever Kossacks you've personally met, none of us know each other. And with the exception of personally meeting, none of us can know each other. Everything we know about each other rests solely on the quality of our arguments, the quality of our words, and how we treat each other. Don't assume that if someone's never written a diary before that they're a troll. Don't assume that if someone disagrees with you they're attacking you. And don't assume if someone expresses an unpopular viewpoint they're right-wing operatives. When you allow yourself to leap to conclusions that are not based in fact, you can become deaf to what people are saying. If you don't listen to a person, then you really don't have anything useful to add to a discussion.
4) This is not Gotham City, and you are not Batman: There are people who honestly think that villains lurk in the dark streets of DailyKos waiting to attack us and rape our women. Okay maybe not that last bit but it's really amusing when people defend their poor treatment of others by claiming they're just defending the community. Defending us from what? Words? Ideas? Puh-leez! This place was founded on ideas. This is where Ideas come to be! This place was not, however, founded on vigilantes, nor on mobs or fear of boogiemen. It's true what FDR said: we really have nothing to fear but fear itself. I'm sure there are members with vicious intent, but really the only harm they can do to us is to turn us into the angry, rude liberals they're all convinced we are. And they can't do that without our participation. In other words, don't feed what few real, honest to goodness trolls there are on this site
5) Discuss, or do not discuss, but don't dismiss: Okay this is MY hot button topic. I can't stand it when people dismiss other people's words or ideas as "right-wing talking points" or accuse people of being trolls for no other reason than because they express an unpopular opinion. The former is just a way for people to ignore what is being said, the latter is that prejudicial assumptions mentioned in item 3. Either way it's incredibly disrespectful to just dismiss someone without addressing the substance of their argument. It is an attempt to exclude someone from the discussions at large and it drives me crazy. If you don't have the brainpower to refute someone's point intelligently, then you have nothing to offer to the discussion and should just sit it out.
6) Learn to move on: There does come a time, for whatever reason, when you don't have anything further to add to the discussion. So why insist on continuing it? You don't get extra mojo for having the last word. And there are so many wonderful diaries to go through. It's such a waste to fixate on something that dead-ended miles back. I admit I have the hardest time with this one but I'm working on it.
Anyway these are just the bits I've picked up recently. Feel free to add more if there's something you think would better the community.
But the biggest point I wanted to make is that we really are ONLY as good as how we treat each other. Be good to each other and the community will be the better for it. Be bad to each other and the entire community suffers for it.