I'm probably taking a hiatus from this place but it will be the kind where I still read the site - I just won't comment or write for awhile. I still want to be a user here because despite everything I love some people here. And I get bored way too much.
I left once before, and this time I don't feel like I'm "leaving" so much as going silent. I don't feel like my words matter here. I don't think my point of view makes a difference. And honestly there is too much homophobia here that is tolerated and gleefully celebrated by some users. It is a significant enough number that I don't feel comfortable sharing my opinions on gay issues here. Read any number of my writings on gay issues and you'll likely find tons of comments that are really screwed up.
There are some things I would like to see addressed on this site for the future. First of all, there are the "you want a pony" comments as it relates to wanting actions taken on gay rights.
I'm not going to mince words nor am I going to be particularly nice. If you are offended you are allowed to read something more tolerable to your tastes. I have to say that the pony comments are homophobic. You are expressing homophobia if you make a comment about wanting a pony in a discussion on gay issues. You are a homophobe. No exceptions. If you are reading a diary about people's equality in relation to others and your first reaction is "waahh! give me my ponies!" you are homophobic and you are not any sort of ally to our community.
The pony comments should have been dealt with on this site a long time ago. The dehumanization of the GLBT community and the caricatures of us as little whining brats should have stopped. There should be a rule: homophobic comments like the pony comments will not be tolerated. More importantly, upraters of these comments should be dealt with. A lot of people here use the excuse that they're "not sure" a certain comment is homophobic or transphobic, so they uprate it to counter a hide rate.
If you do this to a pony comment you're a homophobe.
If you make a comment suggesting that gay people will cause the president to go down in defeat in 2012, if you make a comment that gays will bring on Palin, you're a homophobe.
As I explained to a commenter: I am so fucking sick and tired of this fucking bullshit. If gays speak out it will destroy the party and Obama's presidency... and oooh we should be terrified of Palin!!!
If Obama can't beat Sarah Palin in '12 it's his own damn fault. Obviously if it gets to the point where she wins it is because people think he sucks worse than she does. That is scary but gay people are not politically powerful enough to hurt the president enough to bring on Palin. If it happens he will have done it himself.
That's another form of homophobia, that gays speaking out equals complete and utter destruction of everything. I don't care if it comes from a gay person or not. That's really mean. I am not responsible for the dude's poor polling numbers. And this administration frankly ignores gays as much as possible. You need power to hurt someone. Fuck that.
This makes us feel like we need to just shut up and go away. You'll never think it's the right time. You'll never think we're using the correct "tone" for you. Some people here see gay criticism as evil and wrong and irrational. That's just how it is. Some people just think we're going to destroy his presidency.
I was told awhile ago that people are offended to see gays "protest against" this administration because it makes them think we don't support this administration... but the thing is, protesting for our rights isn't protesting against this administration. We are protesting for action.
But it really goes to show you people's mindsets. Even at DailyKos a huge chunk of people have the default setting of seeing gays as purposely trying to hurt the Obama administration.
"Be patient", "just wait", "give them more time", those are all homophobia. Bigotry. Read Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Letter from a Birmingham Jail. He'll tell you.
I personally wish that people would crack down on these types of comments. I want them hidden and I want upraters to be nervous about uprating such horribly offensive, demeaning and dehumanizing comments.
Not to mention the terrible things President Obama's supporters say about him. He can't do anything. He can only sign laws. He can't advocate. He can't write executive orders. He can't rein in the so-called Bush holdovers from his DOJ even though there have been at least four major incidents with them including serious allegations of unethical behavior from the Palm Center, whose research was used in a brief, and a complete DOJ contradiction and outright rejection of a statement Obama made to GLBT people at the White House, when, as some have suggested, they should have been following a rule that they ignored.
I don't know why so many people here think our brilliant president is so dumb and helpless. He's totally capable of cleaning this mess up.
One last thought: on the Diary Rescue list, there's a current diary about the history of secession and the civil war. One of the arguments that was presented for secession was this:
The moment that slavery is pronounced a moral evil - a sin - by the general government, that moment the safety of the rights of the South will be entirely gone.'
The government making a statement that treating gays horribly is morally evil would have the same effect. Repealing DADT and DOMA and passing ENDA would go a long way to end government sanctioning of hate.
It's not irrational or dramatic or whatever to advocate for that and I really hate that I hardly ever feel comfortable in this community when I talk about gay issues.