How can you be a strong, independent woman and still be a Republican? I seriously wonder because it truly boggles the mind. 'Course, I also save precious few brain cells (daily, mind you) contemplating how minorities and teh gay can be Republicans as well.
I don't get it. Did they take the Blue Pill instead of the Red Pill or something? I mean, what the shit would Neo think of all this?!
What the hell is wrong with ... is a community-driven diary series that seeks to make a complete mockery of the very worst of all Republican operatives, both high-level and low-level. Granted, that's totally easy to do, but I will look at the week's biggest fuck-ups and happily rip them to metaphorical shreds, each and every Friday. Come join in the fun!
I'm always taking creative suggestions, so don't hold back. :)
... Listen, even though I seem very rich, I only look like I invested $5 million dollars with Goldman Sachs! But don't hold that against me!
Jan Brewer is a racist and opportunist ideologue, but I bet I don't have to tell you any of this. As most of you are already aware, Ms. Brewer is the present governor of the much-maligned state of Arizona, which is much-maligned for a very good reason. Exactly 7 days ago now, Governor Brewer signed into law SB1070, otherwise commonly referred to as the "Breathing While Brown Law", or the "Jim Cruz Law", or any variation thereof.
And that's because, sincerely, SB1070 is a fucking racist piece of crap that's not fit to line my bird cage. Which probably would've worked as a stronger analogy if I had a bird, which I don't.
Just so we're clear, and I realize that I barely know her, but I pretty much hate Jan Brewer. Nice goin', Goebbels Junior. I bet President Obama is starting to regret appointing former Arizona governor Janet Napolitano to the office of Secretary of Homeland Security. (I am, too, but not for all of the same reasons.)
Because, yeah, this Arizona law absolutely makes America safer! Err ...
From the Amnesty International link above:
The Arizona House and Senate have passed a bill (SB1070) that would empower police officers to stop and interrogate every individual in the state regarding citizenship status and make it a crime to be an undocumented person in Arizona. If a person does not immediately present documents proving that she is legally in the US, she may be criminally prosecuted, jailed and turned over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement for deportation. The bill contains no safeguards against racial profiling and increases the likelihood of arbitrary arrest and detention. These are all human rights violations.
Yes. Yes, they most certainly are.
So who is this most hideous, most awful, most racist, most stupid, and most tone-deaf governor of the Coyote Ugly (srsly) State? And why is she making white women everywhere look bad?
Well, for starters, Jan Brewer has been a public servant for over two decades, but she's not exactly highly edumacated:
Brewer attended Glendale Community College in Glendale, Arizona.
Dude, she's a certified (or was once, at one time) "Radiological Technician", a career path she sought specifically because of her father's illness and death (due to toxins he was exposed to while in the U.S. Navy), when she was 11. I applaud her decision to get this certification, especially as a testament to her dad, but I'm thinking that being the governor of an American state may inspire oh, I don't know, some more education or something.
But that's just me.
Governor Brewer is (WARNING: shocker ahead!) a Christian and she touts the Life in Christ Lutheran Church as her homebase. Where she chills with her white-only religious homies. Unfortunately, like most Republican "Christians", she uses her powers in deference to Darth Vader and not Obi-Wan Kenobi:
"A bill signed by Gov. Jan Brewer redefined a 'dependent,' canceling the rule change made by Gov. Janet Napolitano that allowed domestic partners to receive benefits. Also eliminated are children of domestic partners, full-time students ages 23-24 and disabled adult dependents. The legislation is in legal review. About 800 state employees are affected, according to the state's administration department...Liz Sawyer, a UA staff member, said the exclusion is 'deplorable and it's tragic.' Sawyer is a spokeswoman for OUTReach, a staff group that lobbies for domestic-partner benefits at UA. Last year 170 UA employees signed up for domestic-partner benefits, she said. Forty were same-sex couples and the remainder were unmarried, opposite-sex couples, she said."
Isn't that special? It's a good thing she's not letting her personal views get in the way of her public office!
Even worse than that, though (hard to imagine, I know), is this (from the previous link):
"Gov. Jan Brewer said Wednesday that she believes 'God has placed me in this powerful position as Arizona's governor' to help the state weather its troubles. In a wide-ranging speech on the role of religion in politics and in her life, Brewer detailed to a group of pastors of the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran Church how she relies on her faith and in prayer to deal with many of the issues she faces as the state's chief executive. Brewer also said there are times when, during a meeting with staffers, one will suggest praying about an issue. ... But Brewer also said she recognizes the difference between bringing her faith to the office and having an 'agenda.' ... 'The problem with having a political agenda is that we give the impression that we have God's truth,' the governor said. 'We think we can convert God's truth into a political platform, a set of political issues, and that there is 'God's way' in our politics,' Brewer continued. 'I don't believe that for a moment, any more than you believe that God's way is exclusively the Lutheran way.' The governor said, though, she believes it is right — if not inevitable — that elected officials bring their faith to their offices."
Well, golly gee vagina, I feel so much better knowing that! Don't you? I mean, the only other person I recall saying something so motherfucking stupid was George W. Bush!
Oh, wait ...
It appears that The Guv is enamored with the concept of freedom:
She used the term "free" or "freedom" 17 times in the 14-minute speech.
To Brewer, that freedom means low taxes, less government regulation, more school choice and the ability to attend college "at a cost that will not leave (students) in a crushing debt."
She mocked President Barack Obama's major economic-stimulus plan, saying, "My transition team and I are not sitting idle while the new government in Washington plans another trillion dollars in deficit spending." She said her aim in Arizona will be to "call forth the creativity, determination and entrepreneurial spirit that made these United States the most prosperous great power in the history of the world."
I find the cognitive dissonance here downright stunning. Ya know, since she doesn't give a flying fuck about being "free" if you're brown and all. But what do I know? Maybe she's oppressed!
Also, sorta funny about that "creativity, determination and entrepreneurial spirit" thing. I don't normally consider apartheid any of the above, but I'm strange that way.
Jan Brewer believes that guns don't kill people, people kill people. But background checks are SO 2009!
Favoring the constitutional right to bear arms over others' concerns about gun safety, Gov. Jan Brewer on Friday signed into law a bill making Arizona the third state allowing people to carry a concealed weapon without requiring a permit.
The measure takes effect 90 days after the current legislative session ends, which likely puts the effective date in July or August.
"I believe this legislation not only protects the Second Amendment rights of Arizona citizens, but restores those rights as well," Brewer, a Republican, said in a statement.
Alaska and Vermont now do not require permits to carry concealed weapons.
By eliminating the permit requirement, the Arizona legislation will allow people 21 or older to forego background checks and classes that are now required.
Oh, Wild, Wild West. How we've missed you and your insane insanity! Good to see you again, bro! Don't tase me!
Pathetically, Gov. Brewer garnered all this national attention for herself to stave off a viable Republican primary, which makes her a soul-selling heinous ratfuck:
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer got a dash of good news over the weekend in her bid to go from accidental governor to elected governor -- the latest poll number puts her as the leader in the crowded field of GOP candidates for guv.
Needless to say, we were shocked.
According to the latest Rasmussen poll, Brewer now leads the field with 26 percent of the vote.
As we've said before, Scott Rasmussen has Texas Congressman Ron Paul in a statistical dead heat with President Obama in the 2012 presidential election, so we tend to take his findings with a few blocks of salt.
In any event, this is a huge jump from a Rasmussen poll taken a month ago that showed Brewer trailing two other Republican candidates -- Treasurer Dean martin, and Owen "Buz" Mills -- by about three points.
Brewer now leads the field, according to Rasmussen, while Martin's numbers have taken a turn for the worse, and Mills' support has dropped from 19 percent to 18 percent, despite a $1.2 million media blitz.
Martin, who led the last poll with 21 percent, has fallen to only 14 percent, and now trails both Brewer and Mills.
And you should see which assholes have contributed to her campaigns over the years, but it would come as a surprise to no one. It's not even worth it to list them, they're so old and tired.
Last, but certainly not least, Jan Brewer hates kids and po' folk:
Arizona on Thursday became the first state to eliminate its Children’s Health Insurance Program when Gov. Jan Brewer signed an austere budget that will leave nearly 47,000 low-income children without coverage.
The Arizona budget is a vivid reflection of how the fiscal crisis afflicting state governments is cutting deeply into health care. The state also will roll back Medicaid coverage for childless adults in a move that is expected to eventually drop 310,000 people from the rolls.
Just like last week's massive headache caused by one Mitch McConnell, I can no longer handle researching Jan Brewer anymore. I think my eyes are going to bleed soon and, similar to the children and poverty-stricken in Arizona, I have no healthcare to speak of.
...
I should go post these articles on RedState. That could be fun. :)