Chris Dudley is tall. It's important to remember that. It's his only real qualification to be Oregon's governor. It's important that a governor be tall.
Chris Dudley didn't vote in six of the last thirteen elections, before he decided he wanted to be governor. He's never shown much interest in politics. He's never shown much interest in policy. But he is tall. And that counts for something.
Chris Dudley was a pro basketball player. He wasn't very good. He had limited skills. His free throw shooting was painful to watch. He holds the NBA record for most consecutive missed free throws. But he was tall. He was very consistently tall. And that got him to the NBA. In basketball, as in politics, it's important to be tall.
Being tall made Chris Dudley famous. Sort of famous, anyway. Famous in an Oregon kind of way. And being famous, like being tall, qualifies one to be governor. Just look at the great success of celebrity governors Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The former was such a failure and was so unpopular that he gave up on politics, after one term. The latter is such a failure and is so unpopular that the electorate now wishes he had, too. But neither of them is tall. Not tall like Chris Dudley is tall!
Chris Dudley wants to cut taxes. Which makes sense, if you're a former pro basketball player, have lots of money, and care more about yourself and people in your own income group than about other people. The vast majority of whom are not in your income group.
Chris Dudley wants to cut government services. Which also makes sense, if you're a former pro basketball player, have lots of money, don't need many government services, and don't much care about those that do need government services.
Chris Dudley wants to cut more of Oregon's forests. Because we all know that the three percent that remains of the Pacific Northwest's Old Growth forests is much too much. Particularly when there's easy money to be made by people in Chris Dudley's income and social groups.
Chris Dudley wants to cut land use laws. Because we all know that private industry and private individuals always use land responsibly. Particularly if there is money to be made not using land responsibly. And making money is more important than being responsible about how one treats the land.
Chris Dudley wants to be governor of Oregon. Absolutely nothing qualifies him to be governor of Oregon. Absolutely nothing suggests that he would govern for the benefit of most Oregonians. Absolutely nothing suggests that he would govern for the benefit of Oregon. But he is tall. And that's gotten him far, in life. And he seems to assume that it makes him deserving of going even farther.
It's good to be tall. Chris Dudley is tall. It's good to be Chris Dudley.