The Administration has issued a press release, announcing the discovery of vast quantities of gold in Afghanistan.
The Pentagon knows where the gold can be found.
The gold is in the area around Kabul and Kandahar, and east, west, south, and north somewhat.
The New York Times, ABC, AP, The Atlantic, Bloomberg, Business Week, Daily Mail, CBS, CNN, The Examiner, FOX, The Guardian, Macleans, National Review, Newsweek, New York Daily News, New York Magazine, New York Post, NPR, Politico, Popular Fidelity (!), Popular Science, Reuters, Time, UPI, Vanity Fair, and the very Voice of America are running with the press release.
American Spectator thinks this is unalloyed good news.
The Wall Street Journal reports that hobbits have been discovered in Afghanistan, but does not explain how discovering hobbits will help the war effort. Everyone knows that gold is mined by dwarves.
Mark Ambinder at the Atlantic, Blake Hounshell at Foreign Policy, David Robertson at the London Times, tristero at digby, and whoever Wonkette at Wonkette is these days all express some doubts about the information.
Business Insider and the Street Insider have no business or street insider information about the vast quantities of gold discovered, and are running with the press release.
Pravda, Izvestia, Tass, and the Washington Post are so far abstaining.
In reaction to the Administration press release, Americans Kossaks are struggling to find Afghanistan on a map.
Offensive operations are being launched in Kandahar. The operations are centered around joint U.S. Special Forces and Afghan militia death squads.
The joint death squads are based out of Mullah Omar's old place, and the militias are under the control of Ahmed Wali Karzai.
To assist the death squads, U.S. general infantry will be conducting large-scale scouting operations in the panty drawers of Afghan women.
Ahmed Karzai gets bad press from our quasi-official state newspapers, but we actually like him fine. Don't trust everything you read in the papers, we must by now have learned.
The Administration press release about the gold bonanza is timed to be a part of the Kandahar offensive.
Our standard for success in Kandahar is called "atmospherics reporting."
It's hard for a military to get good atmospherics reporting when they are running death squads and conducting disappearances and kicking down doors and rifling panty drawers. Thus, the press release about the gold, getting the reporting to run with that instead.
I was proved fucking right. That's what happened. People who disagreed with me were saying, "There she goes again." But I was proved fucking right.
Judith Miller