The resident faculty detoured from their usual path this morning. They popped into the mail room and asked the Professor of Astrology Janitor to grab a mop. After an exchange of confused glances and wary shrugs worthy of a Harold Pinter production, he went. We may know what they want.
More below the fold....
First our customary thanks to last week's guest lecturers. Last Tuesday, Professor of Neuroholdemology Caractacus offered a Link List of websites for news and current events, thought and culture, entertainment and design, and productivity. And last Wednesday, addisnana earned faculty tenure with Mining (Not in My Back Yard) and Talking to Fred. Please join the resident faculty and staff in congratulating our new Professor of Bathtublueberrywhisperology!
This Tuesday, Professor Caractacus continues his Things We Learned This Week series with a discussion of the Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning Act introduced last year as H.R. 4223. On Wednesday, Professor of Jobdefiliberantology J Brunner Fan, returns to the BPI lectern to discuss the important role of Ohio's Secretary of State. As always, Chef will be in the lobby with coffee and bagels. However, this week the Professor of Astrology Janitor will be conducting research in BPI's not-so-state-of-the-art High Apathy Washers En Dryers (HAWED) lab.
Note: We have a guest lecturer for next Wednesday and for September 1st, but we have an opening for August 25th and an open schedule starting September 8th. We also still need writers on Mondays and Wednesdays for Furthermore!, the BPI campus soapbox, and we'd like to start an afternoon series titled Midday Matinee featuring short, people-watching anecdotes. If you would like to guest host Morning Feature and/or contribute at BPI, please volunteer in the Tuna Can, below.
Also: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.
That leaves only the Professor of Astrology Janitor, whom the resident faculty asked to grab a mop. Chef found no spills in the wine cellar library where they spend weekends drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum ("More wine, more truth"), and it was far too early for them to need him to squeegee spewed coffee from their monitors. Obviously it was a clue to their plans for the week.
Ever eager to help the staff (for a few macadamias), the BPI Squirrel offered to take his Blewberry and watch the goings-on from his tree overlooking the hot tub faculty lounge where they hold their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference. He promised not to send photos (really, don't ask) so we agreed it would be a good idea. Pootie the Precious graciously (preciously?) offered to keep up on her iHazPhone:
PootieP@BPI: R u there?
Squirrel@BPI: Yes, finally. They woke the baby so I had to feed him first. They get raucous.
PootieP@BPI: Wat iz dat word?
Squirrel@BPI: Loud.
PootieP@BPI: Y dint you just say dat?
Squirrel@BPI: Sorry. I've been reading much academese for my thesis on 21st Century Political Nuttitude.
PootieP@BPI: Too much wat?
Squirrel@BPI: Sigh. Never mind. Anyway, they're talking to him now. He looks very happy and proud.
PootieP@BPI: Dat's good. Ooh, my ball just moved
Squirrel@BPI: They're asking if he would like to host this week's series.
Squirrel@BPI: Hello?
Squirrel@BPI: Are you paying attention?
PootieP@BPI: Sowee. I back. My ball moved and I had to chase it.
Squirrel@BPI: Fascinating.
PootieP@BPI: It waz. I batz it down da hall and den pouncez on it.
Squirrel@BPI: Please Google "sarcasm."
PootieP@BPI: OK. Hold on.
Squirrel@BPI: Sigh. That was a joke.
PootieP@BPI: Oh. OK.
Squirrel@BPI: Anyway, they want him to host a series celebrating maintenance and the people who do it.
PootieP@BPI: Wat iz mainte ... dat big word.
Squirrel@BPI: Keeping stuff in working order. Like cleaning your litter box.
PootieP@BPI: I likez dat. It getz icky.
Squirrel@BPI: Of course. Most things get icky unless we take care of them.
Squirrel@BPI: Then things break down and we get upset.
Squirrel@BPI: People want something new that won't break down again.
Squirrel@BPI: But it always will unless we do the maintenance.
Squirrel@BPI: Hello?
PootieP@BPI: Sowee. I gotz noms and den did maintenance on my pawz an whiskers.
Squirrel@BPI: Congratulations.
PootieP@BPI: Can we celebrate dat?
Squirrel@BPI: Sure.
PootieP@BPI: Yay! Come throw my ball?
Squirrel@BPI: Sigh. Okay. Be there soon.
PootieP@BPI: kthxbai
So there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Actually the Squirrel's paws. And Pootie the Precious' pawz. Freshly maintained.
+++++
Happy Monday!
Crossposted from Blogistan Polytechnic Institute (BPICampus.com)