We all know that Thomas Kinkade is the Painter of Light©, and before I go on, you need to know that I judge an artist by his works,
not where he pisses, whom he gropes, or whether "God is his agent." In fact, if he urinated on a Walt Disney icon, well, that actually makes me kind of happy, since I've always seen Disney as an exploiter hidden under the guise of innocence.
Anyway, Painter of Light© is such a great phrase (why didn't Manet think if that?), it got me to thinking. We already have Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light©, what we need is the "Sphincter of Light©"
The question is: Who?
Now some of you are thinking Rover. Others are thinking King George, or maybe Cheney, or Mehlman, or Gonzales... The list could get very, very long, so, readers, you see the challenge. Who deserves this winning phrase? Who, in the world of Republican skulduggery, can equal Thomas Kinkade's feats of the brush? Who stands above the rest of the pack, not as the Artist of Evil©, Prevaricator Without Peer© or just a plain arsehole, who, who is the Sphincter of Light©?
Remember, we are branding someone, giving that person a title that s/he can use an market himself/herself with for the rest of his or her life. Like Kinkade, they can make millions, even thought they may have to serve some jail time first. So think, be original, and, as always, vote with your heart and forget about Diebold.
P.S. I've left off George Bush. It's just too easy. Also the list of possibilities is so long that it may not include someone you feel should be the Sphincter of Light©
Feel free to do write-ins below.
Update: Some of you may be wondering why "facism" is one of my tags? Well, Thomas Kinkade produces kitsch, and kitsch is one of the most powerful tools of facist propaganda: the calm, pure village, the idyllic cityscape, the perfect family, Disneyland, etc. No surprise then that Kinkade calls himself a Christian, uses the Bible to his ends, and portrays a "perfect" world in his work. It sounds a lot like the Domino's founder's new "perfect"town ...